FR How Can I Contact You?

[AsianPersuasion]

I listened to a speech by DJ Fuji, who explained why girls may give you their number but not text back... He recommended letting them offer their phone numbers by asking them "how can I contact you?" I decided to try it out. Two meaningful approaches today, in two different cities, but both at Target.

Lizzie: Lizzie was walking down the aisle at the Target near my house. She had very clearly put in a lot of effort into her looks and was accessorizing with a pair of sunglasses at the top of her head. I thought she'd be a perfect candidate for my first approach. We were walking towards each other, so I decided to let her pass me, turn around, and open from the side.

Me: "Hey, I wanted to come tell you that I thought you looked super cute! Had to come say hello."
Her: "Oh hi! Thank you! Haha"
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Lizzie!"
Me: "Lizzie... I am so bad with names, but I really want to remember yours!"
Her: "Haha!"
Me: "...Lizzie.... I'm AP!" *turning to her friend* "Hi!" *wave* "So anyway, obviously I thought you were attractive... What I can't tell just by looking is whether or not I'll like a person's personality.. Can you tell me something interesting about you?" (We were standing in the middle of the aisle and people were struggling to get through. "Whoops, sorry. I don't want to get in people's way... Do you want to like walk down the aisles with me?"
Her: "Um... Actually me and my friend are supposed to meet up with more friends and then go bowling!"
Me: "At Pinz?"
Her: "Yep! I would love to meet up again sometime though!" (I really should have responded with something like "Did you just ask me out?")
Me: "Oh okay, awesome then! How may I contact you?"
Her: "Facebook! My phone's broken so..."
Me: "Perfect! I'll message you then. See you around!" (Should have kept talking)

Fabiana: This was one of my not so smooth interactions.. From a distance, I thought she was the mother of the girl I planned on approaching.... As it turns out, they were sisters, and I ended up approaching the wrong one... The one MUCH younger than me.

Me: *to the really young one* "I saw you while I was walking with my friend and I thought you looked super *turned to the older one* cute! I had to come say hello!" (This could have gone much worse than it did.)
Her: "Oh thank you!"
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "Fabiana."
Me: "Fabiana... Fabiana... I need to remember that! I'm so bad with names though... I'm AP!" *shake her hand and hold it* "So um... what are you two shopping for?"
Her: "Car mats... I just got a car!"
Me: "Oh awesome! Did you just get your license then?"
Her: "Nope. I got it because I'll need it to go to work."
Me: "Oh okay! Where at?"
Her: "Sam's Club! It'll be in Milwaukee where I'll be going to school!"
Me: "For college?"
Her: "Yep!"
Me: "Cool! What major?"
Her: "Psychology."
Me: "Psychology... That's interesting... why not biology, or paleontology...?"
Her: "I don't know... I just find it more interesting!"
Me: "Okay, I did too for a time! ...Sorry, what was your name again?"
Her: "Fabiana!"
Me: "Fabiana... I gotta remember... so Fabiana's a people person then huh?"
Her: "Haha, yeah!"
WingMan: "Can you read my mind?"
Her: "Nope sorry! Haha!"
Me: "This is my friend Roman! We're here trying to look for a mini fridge."
Her: "A mini fridge?"
Me: "Yep. For my car."
Her: "A mini fridge for your car... How does that work?"
Wingman: "I don't really know... but we'll make it work!"
Her: "Huh... Why?"
Me: "That's the thing about first world countries... You buy random crap you don't need and then try to fit things in places they don't belong."
Her: "Haha!"
Me: "I don't really think things through you know... I just kinda do the first thing that comes to mind. It's why I'm over here! I thought you were cute so I just went to tell you! I had no idea what I was gonna say afterwards though. Do you guys wanna like walk together?"
Her: "Actually no, we're kind of crunched on time, but thanks though!"
Wingman: "Hablas espanol?"
Her: "Si! El y yo tambien!"
Me: "What???"
Wingman: "I asked them if they speak spanish!"
Me: "I heard that part! Haha, I was just surprised you knew they spoke Spanish!"
Wingman: "It's because I'm Mexican and I can tell-"
Her: "We're not from Mexico actually haha!"
Me: "Ooooohhhh...."
Wingman: "Well, I meant I can tell when a person can speak Spanish!"
Me: "That was a total shocker for me. I'll admit that. Haha, what country are you from then?"
Her: "Venezuela."
Me: "Can you speak a few lines in Spanish for me? I can't make out a Venezuelan accent... I only know Mexican accent and Spanish accent."
Her: "Well, I grew up here, so I have an American accent. I learned a lot of Spanish from a teacher from Spain!"
Wingman: "That's where they do the 'th' sound! Like thinco minutos!"
Her: "Yeah that 'th' sound!"
Wingman: "Bro, remember Mrs. Romero? She had the accent really bad!"
Me: "Hell yeah I do haha. She was awesome!"
Wingman: "You couldn't tell whether she was speaking Spanish or English it was so bad!"
Her: "Haha!"
Me: "Anyway, I don't want to keep you two any longer. I'd still love to get to know you a bit better though! How can I contact you?"
Her: "I leave on Monday, so it'll be kind of hard to talk to anyone... sorry."
Me: "Do you have a phone? *shakes her head* Facebook?"
Her: "I can give you my Facebook if you want!"
Me: "Okay, then I'll friend you... I'll write down your name then... God damn it, I can't remember it."
Her: "Fabiana! With one n. I shouldn't be too hard to find. How many Fabiana's do you ever meet?"
Me: "You'd be my first Fabiana!"
Her: "And her name's Oriana!"
Me: "Hmm... I have met an Oriana before."
Her: "Really? Are you sure it wasn't Ariana with an A?"
Me: "Nope. With an O."
Her: "Huh.."
Me: "Anyway, I don't want to hold you any longer. Let's go find our mini fridge!"
Her: "Okay, nice meeting you!"
Me: "Nice meeting you too!"
Wingman: "Sorry to bother you." (Don't say sorry damn it!)

Anyway, the last approach was far less than smooth, but with the way I approached, it could have gone far worse.

What I did well:
1) I'm holding myself in conversation better
2) My non-verbals are improving
3) These girls will probably be less likely to flake

What I need to improve on:
1) I did zero kino with the first girl... I could have shaken her hand or asked for a hug, but didn't.
2) I didn't deep dive at all today
3) I need to make my conversation flow more naturally
4) I gotta learn to tell a girl's age better

What I learned:
1) Wingmen give you social proof, but make it harder to do well if they engage in the conversation too.
2) If you don't touch the girl right away, the touch barrier goes up.
3) Look at both girls when you approach and open the better candidate. Don't just open blindly

 

[Pato]

Hey AP,

Nice job today. I also find it hard to tell a girls age when I'm out sometimes. Yeah, maybe a bit more deep diving would have been better, but I think that the first girl might be pretty interested (especially since she asked to meet up).

"So anyway, obviously I thought you were attractive... What I can't tell just by looking is whether or not I'll like a person's personality.. Can you tell me something interesting about you?"

Quick question. Do you think that this way (meaning complimenting them again and asking about her personality) is the best way to start learning about her and deep diving? To me it seems a bit weird, but I've never tried it, and you seem to have success with it. How else do you transition from the opener into deeper conversation? Thanks, and well done today!

-Pato

 

[Richard]

Ahhhh Venezuelan woman! I'll leave it at that lol
Great job though AP, definitely hit that first girl up, and meet up ASAP, though I would've loved to have seen you say "Are you asking me on a date?" Sounds like something Id do lol... good stuff though AP.

-Richard

As a side note. I don't think you should've said "I didn't even know what I was gonna say afterwards..." it implies that you took the time to recognize her, and approach her with some thought in your head, basically, implicitly implying that you were chasing her. Just a small subtlety I noticed.

 

[stratvm]

Her: "Facebook! My phone's broken so..."

respect for you guys going out and put effort into meeting girls on the streets!

to me this seems to be a low potential candidate, i`ll be curious how further events unfold.

- most numbers turn out to be completely useless, facebook is even worse
- especially if paired with the "my phone is broken" excuse...
- girls flake even when they invite you for a date (had one a few weeks ago)

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Hey Pato! I'm actually not sure one bit if this is the best way... it's just the cleanest angle I've found yet. I like deep diving as soon as possible and skipping small talk, but only time is gonna tell if that's a good strategy or not. Experiment with it for me!

Richard, I get the feeling if both of us end up meeting women in the same place, we'd end up fighting over the same girls too! Haha, I need to see the LR from Valerie soon! I'll do that in the morning.

Stratvm, it looks like the girl ignored my friend request.. I was expecting a flake because we barely made a connection, but oh well.

Good luck everyone! Sorry my responses are so brief... It's late, and I'm beyond sleepy because I just wrote a really long post.

 

[BarryS1]

Hey AsianPersuation,

New to game here, but field tested this while on the Newbie Assignment with great results. Used with a black girl while on the sidewalk of a shopping center. I used Ricardo's "Hi, are you single?" line for an opener and "How can I contact you?" at the end. Lucky for me, she was rushing to church and I did not have to converse long before getting her number.

Long story short, I wanted to give you credit because we met up for burgers the next day!

 

[AsianPersuasion]

No problem man! Sorry I didn't reply, I didn't see your comment until now. Hope you've had good progress since you first joined!

 

[BarryS1]

I've been slow, but steady AP, thanks! I still use this every time number closing. Been getting into group interactions during daygame lately, your old FR's are great learning material dude.