How Can I Further Develop my Conversational Vibe?

[Mondo]

I've noticed I could improve on my humor and creativity a bit in conversation.

When there isn't a natural chemistry, flirting becomes difficult for me because what comes to mind naturally are basically dad jokes and bland observations like "man it's so nice today".

It's not a big issue because I can still get by with the proper body language and vibe, but it's an area that I can see needs improvement and would bring my game up overall.

Some examples of guys here on the boards, whom have that vibe in conversation I'd like to emulate a bit, are @Velasco for his funny lines and twists on situations and @Richard for his insightful openers. @Tony D had some cool insightful openers in his recent article too. Obviously there are some other great examples here on the boards too, but these guys come to mind right now.

So how would you go about developing a conversational vibe that isn't natural to you?

 

[Eiswein]

Hi Mondo friend, i hope you are having a great day, is easy
all you have to do to be better at something is: (read books of the topic, in your case comedy and conversations, watch how the pros do it, at youtube for example, practice, check what works and finally recive feedback from others, here or from friends)
if you want something ask me (resources feedback etc)
happy day

 

[Velasco]

Hey @Mondo

Appreciate the love.

I didn't want to respond to this thread, because I didn't have a good response for you on how I do it. But right now I'm reading this book, game solved (I'll DM it to you if you're interested), and just now I've come across this excerpt which may help you out with your question (I don't logically ask myself the question the guy in this except asks btw. For me it's just automatic. I just hear/read what the other person writes/says, and then my brain searches for funny things that are relevant/make sense to what they've just said/wrote. And the source for all the retarded shit I come up with comes from the sense of humor I've internalized at an early age from watching these TV shows: The King of Queens, Family Guy, South Park, That 70's Show (the main thing all these shows have in common (and what I think is what really makes them funny) is that the characters look like they're completely serious (like they sound like they asking a serious question/answer to the guy's question (there's an art to this), when they say the thing, that's suppose to generate a laugh (kinda like what Skills talks about here with his fake angry shit http://www.theskillsmethod.com/the-fake-angry-method/) And recently (2016ish) self depreciating trolls on twitter with regards to sexual relationships (again the art is in making it look like he's very serious). Anyway, here's that except:

I use one other concept which I just call generic 'filtering'. That means rather than trying to think “What should I say?” just pay attention to what they're saying or doing or what's happening in the environment, and try to filter it SOMEHOW (more open ended) into something emotional. Usually funny. Like a guy on TV just said “I'm going to help you out with the surgery” talking about a surgery for a cat. But you could go “How do I filter that to something funny?” – in this case you could go “Wow! Brian HAS been hoping to finally get his sex change” and point to your friend. That's actually pretty damn funny, and a pretty good way to turn a cat surgery into something way more emotional.

General filtering like that is basically the zone of charismatic people. They typically respond to very little logically, and seek to filter almost everything to something more emotional. In that way, they can ALWAYS create energy no matter who they're talking to, how bad those people are at vibing and communicating in energy rather than logic, or what's being discussed. Because they can make everything fun and emotional, they are perceived as charismatic and people enjoy being around them. People that suck at getting out of boring logic can talk to these people and STILL have fun because these 'charismatic' people are so persistent at filtering everything that they force them into having fun in spite of themselves. They basically won't allow logic to stick.

 

[Skills]

The humor you want to learn is one that is flirtatious, with tons of innuendos, but a bit sexual as well, the sexual humor has to be calibrated in a way that is not offensive/gross..... Cocky funny works very well with a bit of sexual.... Keep in mind humor is better in the pre-hook to hook stages then you need to cut it since it will kill tension towards the end of the seduction, it is a weird balance that is gained with experience. Humor can be also be used as push pull, to change topics, to throw off heavy and uncomfortable arguments with girls your are dating etc...

for seduction and understanding humor a good book on the "theory/explanation of dynamics" is double your dating, the samples and practicality are weak...

The humor used and taught in the seduction community is grandmaster style(think of russel brand), the problem with grandmaster style is that is direct, which i find weak (even Russel brand he gets aways cause of who he is but is not practical in the field to be that direct with sexual jokes), the theory of jokes to put sex on the mind is correct...But the flawed of the style is that it needs to be more neutral/indirect to be more effective (think of teevester sex talk vs stellar sex talk)......

I did a video breaking down humor (the one that is effective on the field, but youtube destroyed my explanations/captions i may need to remake this video in the future but look at samples):

 

[Zoro]

@Velasco Thanks for the advice man, and I am interested in that book. I'll DM you.

Btw, I'm Mondo. I made another account when GC updated it's forums. I don't remember why, maybe because I thought this one got deleted. Anyway, I've stopped using the @Mondo account and am using this one again.

General filtering like that is basically the zone of charismatic people. They typically respond to very little logically, and seek to filter almost everything to something more emotional. In that way, they can ALWAYS create energy no matter who they're talking to, how bad those people are at vibing and communicating in energy rather than logic, or what's being discussed.

Yes, this makes sense, because I usually speak in this logical way and shy away from generalized statements. Maybe logical isn't the best word though... True/accurate? I like to get to the core of things, and this actually helps a lot when I'm connecting with a girl. She knows I get her.

I recently went to r/roastme on reddit and tried to do my own roasts, and I think I've got a taste of what this approach looks like.

They basically won't allow logic to stick.

Tell me if you think I get it, instead of saying things that are true, make an assumption and run with it. Almost like a role play.

@Skills

The humor you want to learn is one that is flirtatious, with tons of innuendos, but a bit sexual as well, the sexual humor has to be calibrated in a way that is not offensive/gross.....

Right, exactly. In fact, my cousin is a perfect example of someone with this kind of personality and he's got solid game. Unfortunately he lives on the otherside of the world and I only see him once in while. Actually he regularly crosses the line, for instance when I mentioned I wanted to come visit him he replied with "aw you miss daddy's dick in your mouth?"

I laughed out loud, I thought that was hilarious and he's always like that with no filter at all.

To piggy back off what Velasco says, it's like he's saying shit that's not logical and instead holding to a frame that he's decided. He's like my older brother, so he's always teasing me and shit, like saying that when I come out visit he's going to pimp me out as a stripper to help me make some money.

Keep in mind humor is better in the pre-hook to hook stages then you need to cut it since it will kill tension towards the end of the seduction, it is a weird balance that is gained with experience.

Yeah, this is where I want to start learning to use this humor. I'm actually naturally like this after we've hooked up. My humor is already much like my cousin's at that point, but I'm not comfortable bringing that out sooner.

The humor used and taught in the seduction community is grandmaster style(think of russel brand), the problem with grandmaster style is that is direct, which i find weak (even Russel brand he gets aways cause of who he is but is not practical in the field to be that direct with sexual jokes), the theory of jokes to put sex on the mind is correct...But the flawed of the style is that it needs to be more neutral/indirect to be more effective (think of teevester sex talk vs stellar sex talk)......

Right, I can see this when I use this style. Thanks for wisdom Skills!

 

[Gladiator]

Keep in mind humor is better in the pre-hook to hook stages then you need to cut it since it will kill tension towards the end of the seduction, it is a weird balance that is gained with experience.

Yo @Skills Do you mind elaborating this please?
Or perhaps make a post?

I mean what you're saying is quite straight-forward already but giving some examples would help.. or explaining a few different situations.. even over texting etc