How Do I Deal With Living With My Parents While Wanting To Do Pickup

[Ken]

I finished my latest semester of college last month, and I don't have any classes until February. So I have spent most of this time in my house. I live with my parents, but I can't go out by myself.

When I talked about it with my dad one day, he said that I can't go anyway by myself until I am ready because of this thing that happened in the summer where I flirted with one of the people working in the hallways between the mall and brought something from there by accident and thrown it in the trash. Not one of my best moments.

So now, I asked my mom this time if I can go out by myself, and she said yes. These days, I only go out for appointments with my therapist, and never for personal amusement unless it's with my parents.

This has limited my pickup time and my experience. How do I deal with this? Have anyone on this board ever dealt with this, living with your parents but are unable to go out by yourself?

 

[Mr.Rob]

Hey Ken glad you made it to the boards, welcome!

What country do you live in?

Why do your parents not let you go out by yourself?

These questions will give us a better idea for helping you out.

 

[Ken]

Mr. Rob,

This isn't my first time on the boards. Now, I will answer your questions:

-I live in the United States.

-My parents won't let me go out by myself because they think that I am not mature enough to take care of myself and are overprotective of me. I can't cook, clean, and I have never had a job in my life. Plus, I don't have any friends that I can go out with because I have never been good at making them. My parents think that I'm a boy who get angry too much, talks to myself too much, and can't do anything by himself. In fact, my parents are the cause of me becoming a "nice guy", being unable to date, and needing Girls Chase to rid myself of this behavior.

 

[Mr.Rob]

My parents won't let me go out by myself because they think that I am not mature enough to take care of myself and are overprotective of me. I can't cook, clean, and I have never had a job in my life. Plus, I don't have any friends that I can go out with because I have never been good at making them. My parents think that I'm a boy who get angry too much, talks to myself too much, and can't do anything by himself. In fact, my parents are the cause of me becoming a "nice guy", being unable to date, and needing Girls Chase to rid myself of this behavior.

So your problem is not having trouble pulling girls home and having shitty logistics but actually doing something with your life it sounds. You have much bigger problems to worry about than pickup sir.

The reason you cannot clean or get a job. Is that because your parents will not allow you to clean or get a job (and if so is their good reasoning from them to prevent you from doing that?)? Or have you just never taken the initiative to learn to clean or find a job?

 

[Ken]

Mr. Rob,

Oh yes I do. As for your questions, I have never taken the initiative to learn how to clean. I did, however, try to find a job back in high school. Unfortunately, I was rejected from the only job I applied (working retail at Target) because I did not meet the qualifications for that job. I would had applied for more, but my parents told me that they would support me financially and that I didn't need a job until I finished college. I haven't looked for a job since, living under their roof means living under their rules.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Oh well that's somewhat good news in my opinion. You have sound faculties and your parents are not batshit crazy control freaks (overprotective possibly but you said it yourself that living under their roof means living under their rules).

Really it sounds like you have a conflict in interest here. On one hand you want autonomy to make a cool life for yourself but you do not take initiative to actually go create that life/autonomy? Or am I not reading you right.

What do you want to do with your life?

What life if you created for yourself would you be most excited about?

 

[Ken]

Mr. Rob,

I want to become a writer. For various things: Television shows, movies, novels, comic books.

The life that I would be most excited about if I created it myself would be: Moving away from Mom and Dad, living in an apartment by myself where I could take home any girl that I want, be bound by no one's rules except my one, and work as a freelance writer for magazines (like GQ) or websites (like Askmen). Show that I can be responsible and take care of myself and my needs without going broke.

Well, for years I thought I was taking initiative to control my life. But now, I see that you're right about me not taking the initiative, and it's because I was a victim. As i Victim Mentality. Now, I'm slowly overcoming this, but I feel like I am not doing enough and could do much more to take initiative to overcome Victim Mentality/create the life that I want.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Mr. Rob,

I want to become a writer. For various things: Television shows, movies, novels, comic books.

The life that I would be most excited about if I created it myself would be: Moving away from Mom and Dad, living in an apartment by myself where I could take home any girl that I want, be bound by no one's rules except my one, and work as a freelance writer for magazines (like GQ) or websites (like Askmen). Show that I can be responsible and take care of myself and my needs without going broke.

Well, for years I thought I was taking initiative to control my life. But now, I see that you're right about me not taking the initiative, and it's because I was a victim. As i Victim Mentality. Now, I'm slowly overcoming this, but I feel like I am not doing enough and could do much more to take initiative to overcome Victim Mentality/create the life that I want.

Right the reason you can't bring girls home is not your parents fault it's your fault. Not trying to point fingers or be mean but you cannot move forward until you take full responsibility for your situation.

That's awesome you have an idea of what you want out of life. I would start moving in that direction towards becoming independent today. If you want the life you wrote down here you can do it. That's not something waaaayyyy out of reach, however you have your work cut out for you for where you're currently at in life.

You have no time to waste either.

If you have questions on how to get started, what you need to work on, or anything else definitely ask.

-Rob

 

[Shake&Bake]

Ken I'm literally in the same situation as you are in. In fact, I am you to be honest. I dont go outside to often because I never really made friends and cant go anywhere else. I really want to go to clus and social gatherings but my parents wont let me because they believe I'm irresponsible and cluns are not for me. Me and my parents always get into these hour long arguments about how I should treat girls cause on some long occasions I actually told them I needed I wanted to get better with girls and they believed it was ridiculous.

Im looking for a job as of now. I live in a place where I'm surrounded y endless plazas and stores yet still cant find any to hire me. Im trying everyday to get one. I'm also feeling like I have nothing to work with. I don't know, I hope I get better for my sakes at least

 

[Reave Krieger]

Take Action Immediately!

@Ken and Shake&Bake: May I ask how old you are?

Ken, you said you were in college already. Of course you must more or less follow your parents' rules when you live with them. But you shouldn't just accept everything they tell you. You are your own man. So do what YOU want and not what your parents want!

I can't comprehend why you guys don't just go out alone. It sounds like you are prisoners. I feel really bad for you! Don't let you treat this way. Seriously, grow some balls and go out alone!

Then before trying to pick-up girls... Get some friends / into a social circle first. Take action. Take a job so that you are financially independent. Even if your parents will support you in this regard.

How will you lead girls when you can't even lead yourself?


-Jumok93

 

[Ken]

20 years old.