How do I improve my subcomms

[Searcher]

I have read articles on girlschase about subcomms but I don’t know what particular thing I need to improve upon.

as far as body language is concerned I am concentrating on

1) I have my back straight.
2) I don’t look down
3) I make eye eye contact (I sometimes think I am looking too much and sometimes not, don’t know the right balance)
4) I am wearing fashionable clothes as recommended. (Got inspiration from google images of bad boy dressing style)
5) I have reduced fidgeting to a minimum.
6) I move my hands and am facially expressive quite a lot.

Are there any other tips which are very subtle to notice?

 

[Conquistador]

-Walking and moving is important.
When I was 13 I thought using my new long legs to stride as fast as possible was attractive
But trying to walk deliberately slowly because it's "alpha" is often just as bad if you're a young guy.

-Verbals when going about your life are important. For instance, a guy I know (30 or so) has a natural tendency to talk gruff and tough. For a while I thought he disliked me, but he's that way to most people he's not close with. Also, he was injured in a shark attack and didn't let it stop him from doing intense outdoors adventure stuff.

A while back he told me and a mutual gal pal about an extremely exclusive club in Berlin where the bouncers screen you aggressively at long range. Apparently he had "it"; most people don't. He walked in, took one turn around the place, and left.



Me, I spent a lot of time as a teenager pre-seduction working on basic masculine (non-seduction) fundamentals, which turned out to be a solid base from which to start figuring out all this girl stuff worked.
I think it's good to view fundamentals as one facet of how a Man should be and act.

Basically the mindset is "how would my ideal self act?" Keep going back and making little improvements.

 

[ulrich]

Have you considered practicing looking relaxed?

It seems like the logical next step.

 

[Kaida]

Have you considered practicing looking relaxed?

It seems like the logical next step.

This is something I’ve been focusing on for quite some time now. I think I’m decent (6/10) at it by now. I can still improve so any tips from experts would be appreciated.

Things IMO help with looking relaxed:

1. Being Still

As with a lot of things in seduction, you likely have to go through a period of bouncing between the opposite extremes of being too still and moving too much before finally settling on a happy medium.

Being still is good at making you look unreactive & relaxed because being still in and of itself builds tension. Imagine looking someone in the eye while they talk without moving versus nodding your head enthusiastically. The fact that you don’t react to the tension you create makes you look more powerful. Can be easily overdone though to make u the weird guy

2. Relaxed, Slow, and Resonant voice

These things in your voice combined create a relaxed, but powerful and confident vibe.

Something recently “clicked” for me about voice. This is me a little over a year ago. And this is me now. You can see how much more powerful but relaxed I sound in the current one. I’d say work on depth and resonance first, cuz thats the hard part, and then work on speaking slow and relaxed.

3. Body Language

The big obvious one. Having relaxed BL while sitting down is easy: open your legs assymetrically and dont slouch. That simple. You can also put your arm on a chair next to you to look like you take up more space. I’ve been literally told I look like Superman when I do all 3. Do all these things along with the #1 and #2 and youll be set.

I would also say lean back, but I do that when I’m already considered “in” the conversation so I can afford to lean back and they’ll still engage me.

Looking relaxed while standing up is harder imo because the only “relaxed” signals you can send is good posture, moving deliberately, and voice (correct me if I’m wrong) and posture isn’t even really a relaxation signal its a power signal. Voice while standing up is a huge one that can likely make up for all your lack in other areas.

Hope I helped!

 

[Rakehell]

There’s already been some good replies so i’ll add a different take.

When you think about nonverbal communication not only does being relaxed play apart but also how you feel about yourself.

This is why it’s hard for some people to hold eye contact, they have some internal belief that prevents them from doing it congruently. Whether its a belief about society or some underlying insecurity about themselves.

This also applies to how much space people take up, or people who habitually say “excuse me”, even when there’s more than enough room for them to slip by.

In these situations you are sub communicating you don’t view yourself very highly in the moment, and people will pick up on that if they’re aware.

That being said it’s very hard to fake what you sub communicate unless you are actually very relaxed and calculating.

That being said for most of us:

I think whats most important is addressing any underlying feelings of inferiority you may or may not have. Moreover accepting your flaws (which isn’t the same as being complacent with things you can change) in the moment and being comfortable in your skin.

The rest of nonverbal communication is finding ways you can communicate your intent without using words.

How would you communicate intent to someone who spoke a different language ?

edit: ^you’d use certain universal cues that anybody could understand.

For example walking around the mall the other day I saw this chick wearing these pink foam slides but the material was bubbly..

They were super out there and futuristic looking. I had headphones in and she was on the phone but I wanted to compliment her on her shoes.

So in passing I stopped, flapped my hand like I was waving goodbye to get her attention, got eye contact, pointed at her shoes, made eye contact again, then gave her a thumbs up.

She smiled and mouthed “thank you”.

 

[FunGuy]

My first tip would be go to the gym consistently, it will naturally make you more confident and it will show in your body language. I'm not sure if you already work out or not but its good to invest 5-6 months of going hard in the gym as it will do miracles for your confidence.

Second tip would be to slowly desensitize yourself to social situations and settings that make you feel uncomfortable. Whenever I move somewhere new I always take a week or 2 just to explore and familiarize myself with places to find settings I am comfortable with. This is useful to help you feel relaxed/prepared so you can bring out your most charismatic and charming self when you go on dates.

My last tip would be to focus on one thing at a time. I say start with talking loud because for me that automatically fixed everything else. When I talk loud the rest of my body language adapts and automatically feels more authorative and it shows in my demeaner. You said you have a problem with eye contact, its kind of awkward to make strong eye contact with people if you aren't talking to them. Try to force yourself into the habit of making strong but friendly eye contact with people when you are speaking to them or when they are speaking to you so that they feel you are giving them your full attention. With time you will feel comfortable with it so just take baby steps for now.

 

[Calibration]

3) I make eye eye contact (I sometimes think I am looking too much and sometimes not, don’t know the right balance)

Eye contact is one of the biggest factors in seduction. Pay attention to these:
1. If she's holding strong eye contact, you maintain the same but if she's shy and not making a lot of eye-contact, tone it down. Look to your side, when thinking. This comes across as less overbearing.
2. Have a soft gaze like bedroom eyes. Don't blink too much (this is the core of eye-contact seduction). That comes across as anxious.
3. Stick to one eye when making eye contact, don't switch between her eyes that comes as anxious as well.
4. If you're very new and struggling to hold strong eye contact, look at her upper eye lid. She wouldn't notice.

Once you've mastered the above:
5. Try smiling through your eyes. I know it sounds weird and hard to explain with words but project your sexual energy through your eyes. Have you heard of soul-gazing? Imagine her as something very delicious that you want to savor and look INTO her eyes.

Like FunGuy mentioned, take it in baby steps. Go out to try one thing at a time until you feel comfortable and confident.

 

[Will_V]

Eye contact is one of the biggest factors in seduction. Pay attention to these:
1. If she's holding strong eye contact, you maintain the same but if she's shy and not making a lot of eye-contact, tone it down. Look to your side, when thinking. This comes across as less overbearing.
2. Have a soft gaze like bedroom eyes. Don't blink too much (this is the core of eye-contact seduction). That comes across as anxious.
3. Stick to one eye when making eye contact, don't switch between her eyes that comes as anxious as well.
4. If you're very new and struggling to hold strong eye contact, look at her upper eye lid. She wouldn't notice.

Once you've mastered the above:
5. Try smiling through your eyes. I know it sounds weird and hard to explain with words but project your sexual energy through your eyes. Have you heard of soul-gazing? Imagine her as something very delicious that you want to savor and look INTO her eyes.

Like FunGuy mentioned, take it in baby steps. Go out to try one thing at a time until you feel comfortable and confident.

Very good points, the way you look at a woman is probably going to have the most powerful effect out of anything. The feminists get all hung up about the 'male gaze' for a reason, women are born with the overriding desire to be the 'apple of his eye' for all the men in her life.

Anyone can look at a woman, but not many a man knows how to use his gaze to reflect something back to her that she wants to see.

 

[Conquistador]

Once you've mastered the above:
5. Try smiling through your eyes. I know it sounds weird and hard to explain with words but project your sexual energy through your eyes. Have you heard of soul-gazing? Imagine her as something very delicious that you want to savor and look INTO her eyes.

Great tip, gonna try that

 

[Calibration]

Anyone can look at a woman, but not many a man knows how to use his gaze to reflect something back to her that she wants to see.

Years ago I went out with a Brazilian friend of mine. In the club, he basically stared down a girl for a few mins and they were making out after 5 mins. I didn't know what happened back then and asked him. He tried to explain but I couldn't make sense out of it but after many years, I realised that was the definition of true eye-contact seduction. You're right, feminists can say whatever they want but they can't change evolutionary biology.

 

[StrayDog]

I have read articles on girlschase about subcomms but I don’t know what particular thing I need to improve upon.

as far as body language is concerned I am concentrating on

1) I have my back straight.
2) I don’t look down
3) I make eye eye contact (I sometimes think I am looking too much and sometimes not, don’t know the right balance)
4) I am wearing fashionable clothes as recommended. (Got inspiration from google images of bad boy dressing style)
5) I have reduced fidgeting to a minimum.
6) I move my hands and am facially expressive quite a lot.

Are there any other tips which are very subtle to notice?

all excellent answers here from the guys

-Work out regularly and really focus on having good form. This keeps you strong in your body

-Have a restorative body practice. Yoga, Qi Gong, some form of PT. Learn to relax your body deeply. Feel whole. Rooted. Flowing. Centered. Vital, yet at ease.

-Mediate 20 min daily. Learn patience, temperance, and stillness. Learn to observe the patterns of your mind. the way your thoughts and emotions ebb and flow.

-Candle gaze. Learn how to focus your eyesight. Watch with a gentle sense of wonder but also deep unwavering attention. like steel wrapped in silk. Learn to turn this gaze on and off like the flip of a switch. In the field, this same gaze will turn itself towards the flickering flame of life in her eyes.

-Reduce ejaculation to a minimum of once a week, and no ejaculation at least two days before gaming. Learn methods for managing your sexual impulse. Let your sexual intuition guide you in the field

-Dopamine detox from the internet. Social media, porn. All those things that program habits of unfounded chemical/emotional responses.

-as @FunGuy suggested, desensitize yourself to social situations. Get as much in-field experience as you can. Put yourself in a diverse array of social situations.

-Keep a journal in field. Take note of any mental or physical patterns that arise. Take note of common situations they tend to arise in. Then, tune into your body. Picture yourself back in the interaction. Enact the subcomm posture vocal tone, facial expression, emotional response (and so on) you would have preferred. Visualize how the interaction could have gone with these more desired subcomms. write down how you feel.

-Rehearse routines and gambits in front of the mirror.

-Do positive affirmations in front of the mirror daily

-Do manly shit that challenges your limits. Confront a fear daily no matter how big or small. Learn to stay cool in uncomfortable situations.

-cultivate a sense of 'winning' in life

Subcomms arise from the psychological, physiological, and emotional rhythms/patterns of your body and mind. The more mastery you gain over these elements of your life the more you will be able to have command over your subcomms in field. Ultimately the goal is to just be present, relaxed, tuned in, confident, adaptive, centered, vital. All that jazz

You know, basic seduction ninja training routines and shit

 

[Calibration]

-Reduce ejaculation to a minimum of once a week, and no ejaculation at least two days before gaming. Learn methods for managing your sexual impulse. Let your sexual intuition guide you in the field

-Dopamine detox from the internet. Social media, porn. All those things that program habits of unfounded chemical/emotional responses.

This bears repeating a 1000 times. No matter how many tips and tricks one learns, if your inner sexual energy is dead, you have no way to project it. Specially porn, which is a huge culprit. It kills one's raw masculine energy and the girl can sense it so easily. I'd go a step ahead and say, not just detox from porn but cut it out completely from your life, including seeing semi-naked models on Instagram and such.