Socializing How do you avoid/deal with run-ins?

[Atlas IV]

I've had this happen several times already, even just a few months since moving to this city (a capital city of 8+ million people).

Just today, I cold approached a girl on the street while walking home. As I was talking to her, another girl, who I met yesterday at the mall nearby and have scheduled a date for Friday with, walked past me. I turned and talked to her, just a little chit-chat and said "see you Friday", then she shot a glance at the girl I was talking to and walked on. Really unfortunate timing as she was a warm lead, and I give it a 50/50 chance that she'll flake now, but gonna wait and see.

Anyway, it made me think that I really should stop shitting where I eat, i.e. don't cold approach so many girls in the area where I live.

The problem is, I approach girls everywhere, and even in a city of this size, I STILL have frequent "train crashes" (as it's called in the local language). Last week, I was on a date with a girl at another mall (several metro stations away from where I live) when we bumped into one of my FBs. I explained it away later with some sleek convincing and she didn't seem too bothered by it, but I expect some girls will be.

There was yet another day a few weeks ago where, in a single day, I ran into THREE girls I'd cold approached/banged before - one on the street, one in the mall, and one at a bar.

How do you guys deal with run-ins or avoid them? Seems like it's inevitable if you're gaming in the same bars and the same neighbourhoods. I guess it's just something we have to accept as PUAs and be at peace with however things resolve themselves?

 

[topcat]

I've had this happen several times already, even just a few months since moving to this city (a capital city of 8+ million people).

Just today, I cold approached a girl on the street while walking home. As I was talking to her, another girl, who I met yesterday at the mall nearby and have scheduled a date for Friday with, walked past me. I turned and talked to her, just a little chit-chat and said "see you Friday", then she shot a glance at the girl I was talking to and walked on. Really unfortunate timing as she was a warm lead, and I give it a 50/50 chance that she'll flake now, but gonna wait and see.

Anyway, it made me think that I really should stop shitting where I eat, i.e. don't cold approach so many girls in the area where I live.

The problem is, I approach girls everywhere, and even in a city of this size, I STILL have frequent "train crashes" (as it's called in the local language). Last week, I was on a date with a girl at another mall (several metro stations away from where I live) when we bumped into one of my FBs. I explained it away later with some sleek convincing and she didn't seem too bothered by it, but I expect some girls will be.

There was yet another day a few weeks ago where, in a single day, I ran into THREE girls I'd cold approached/banged before - one on the street, one in the mall, and one at a bar.

How do you guys deal with run-ins or avoid them? Seems like it's inevitable if you're gaming in the same bars and the same neighbourhoods. I guess it's just something we have to accept as PUAs and be at peace with however things resolve themselves?

doesn’t sound like there’s any real problem here. none of the girls disrupted your ability to seduce and it’s yet to be seen if them seeing you with other chicks will cause them to flake.

remember, preselection is a thing and your not exclusive to any of these girls.

worry about it, if it actually becomes an issue…

 

[Atlas IV]

doesn’t sound like there’s any real problem here. none of the girls disrupted your ability to seduce and it’s yet to be seen if them seeing you with other chicks will cause them to flake.

remember, preselection is a thing and your not exclusive to any of these girls.

worry about it, if it actually becomes an issue…

Good point. I'm probably overthinking it.

I guess I have this aversion to "being caught" which comes from my days of monogamy-based thinking.

Seems like a lot of girls do even get competitive when they see their guy with another girl. I remember my ex-LTR caught me in a similar situation a couple of times while we were still just dating, and contrary to what I expected (things to blow up), it seemed to ignite a competitive spirit in her.

It's true, preselection is powerful...

 

[Skills]

Good point. I'm probably overthinking it.

I guess I have this aversion to "being caught" which comes from my days of monogamy-based thinking.

Seems like a lot of girls do even get competitive when they see their guy with another girl. I remember my ex-LTR caught me in a similar situation a couple of times while we were still just dating, and contrary to what I expected (things to blow up), it seemed to ignite a competitive spirit in her.

It's true, preselection is powerful...

it can create an issue, and give you a "reputation" i know a day gamer from the forum that had this issue... Same in clubs, when i was for example gaming in Miami and going to specific promoters clubs, it got to the point i had women from different clicks i had slept with or mess with or someone they knew, it gets uncomfortable...

the solution is game in different places/venues.... context lets say i am in a club, and girl i am seeing or banging or have done that is there... I just go to a different venue or different area of club if is a big club... I personally find it does meses with your head and give you anxiety... some other guys don't have that issue, i do, for me makes me in my head and uncomfortable.... same with the day gamer i know after a while he got paranoid..

 

[Will_V]

I've had this happen several times already, even just a few months since moving to this city (a capital city of 8+ million people).

Just today, I cold approached a girl on the street while walking home. As I was talking to her, another girl, who I met yesterday at the mall nearby and have scheduled a date for Friday with, walked past me. I turned and talked to her, just a little chit-chat and said "see you Friday", then she shot a glance at the girl I was talking to and walked on. Really unfortunate timing as she was a warm lead, and I give it a 50/50 chance that she'll flake now, but gonna wait and see.

Anyway, it made me think that I really should stop shitting where I eat, i.e. don't cold approach so many girls in the area where I live.

The problem is, I approach girls everywhere, and even in a city of this size, I STILL have frequent "train crashes" (as it's called in the local language). Last week, I was on a date with a girl at another mall (several metro stations away from where I live) when we bumped into one of my FBs. I explained it away later with some sleek convincing and she didn't seem too bothered by it, but I expect some girls will be.

There was yet another day a few weeks ago where, in a single day, I ran into THREE girls I'd cold approached/banged before - one on the street, one in the mall, and one at a bar.

How do you guys deal with run-ins or avoid them? Seems like it's inevitable if you're gaming in the same bars and the same neighbourhoods. I guess it's just something we have to accept as PUAs and be at peace with however things resolve themselves?

Best way to deal with it is have 3 or 4 places in different parts of town and rotate between them, that's what I do (daygame).

Another thing is, if you're going to spend a lot of time in one place, you want to establish a way of doing things that maintains your 'value', that is, even people who see you a lot don't immediately go "oh it's this cagey guy on the prowl again". That means no spam approaching, being super calibrated and chill, being selective and subtle, being sociable with people you see a lot, and doing everything in a way that is satisfying and self-expressive. You want to have a sense of ownership over it, like it's your territory and you're sure and confident of your place in it.

When I do run into girls multiple times I'll usually just smile warmly, greet her like a friend if she talks to me, and act chill. I never pretend to ignore her, it makes me feel cagey. She's still an attractive girl.

I don't think it's so much we get worried about girls seeing us with other girls, it's more like when we know we're doing something in a way we're not proud of, and suddenly some girl makes us realize it.

 

[Ratata]

It's not a problem. She's just a friend. I was just talking to a friend. Are you jealous?

In fact, just got an idea. I'm not a threesome guy, but I have a feeling that seeding threesomes with girls when you're alone can also make this more interesting. Anyone tried this? If both are primed for threesomes, will this increase the likelihood? Shit, I've gotta try this now!!!