How do you deal with an underaged approach?

[average_daygamer]

I saw a 3 set today, and, emboldened by my upcoming coaching session, I decided to go and stop the one I noticed. I wouldn't normally go in for 3 sets, it's too overwhelming, even though I tend to focus on on the one I am stopping, but at some point, you have to address the others.

Looping around a crowded high street in the early afternoon, I stopped a petite curvaceous red head.

I told her direct "Hey, I think you look good".

I can't remember the exact turn of events, but the whole group stayed to the spot, so at this point, I didn't suspect anything.

So I expanded with "so it looks like you are out with your friends". At this point, something feels off.

One of them asks my age , and, since I have nothing to hide, I tell them I am 35. Uni girls often ask my age which is what at this point convinces me that they are indeed at uni.

As it happens, one of them explains "this is creepy, you are 20 years older than her!"
So, according to my math, they (or atleast the approachee) was 15 years of age.

But they have this weird semi confrontational /semi jokey vibe, then I switch back to thinking that they are joking and are actually university students.

But she keeps saying she is younger and younger (finishing at 10) then they point out the eldest of the group and recommend her to me! Jokingly, of course.

But I find some sets are up to no good because instead of saying "oh, sorry, we are still in our teens but thanks"; they try to make a big deal by asking how old I am first, at which point I still don't know if they are underaged or just 20 for instance.

Anyway, still completely confused and not wanting for the cringe to go on any longer, I wish her a good day and turn to go, only to be met with a cry of "creep" from one of the girls.

How charming!

I know a lot of you don't understand why I am so keen to avoid approaching underaged, so this is a prime example. After that, I haven't managed any more approaches today due to lack of volume and being too in my head.

I also thought they were old enough which was why I didn't use my common pre opener of "excuse me, are you at uni?". Which is also incongruent with a fully committed front stop.

 

[Bill]

You could just ask how old they are directly after opening. If they look younger I don’t go direct and the second thing I say is “by the way how old are you”

In this case I’d just leave. If not maybe a turn around “I thought you were 40”, “creepy for what? You want to date me? That’s cute / I’m flattered / let’s not get ahead of ourselves”.

 

[average_daygamer]

Eh, I struggle to think in the moment when I am taken by surprise.

Yeah if chicks look younger normally I would prefer open with "excuse me, are you are uni" but that isn't congruent with a front stop. Which leads to me doing weak ass side approaches when the girl looks of indeterminate age, which applies to loads of chicks in their early 20s.

Normally I would follow up the open with "are you at uni" as I don't feel comfortable directly asking how old girls are. It just sounds too...demanding. And like "if you aren't sure, why are you asking" kinda thing.

However for some reason I thought they were definitely at uni. I've seen younger looking girls in nightclubs.

And I did emphasise that I thought they were at uni and were around 22. But they weren't having it and one if the group said something along the lines of "omg that was so creepy" as I was walking away.

Some people gotta be assholes, eh.

 

[gameboy]

Some people gotta be assholes, eh.

They're 15, almost children. They probably don't even know what they're doing. Adolescent girls (and boys) can appear rude sometimes.

If I were to approach a girl and it turns out she's under age, I'd just tell her she's a bit too young for me, maybe give her a compliment and leave. No hard feelings, but I'm just not interested in girls that much younger than me.

 

[average_daygamer]

Did I not just describe a version of that!? I couldn't tell if they were being sarcastic or not. They chose to continue the interaction by asking how old I was instead of immediately stating they were underaged. This causing a confusing interaction where I am still not sure of what went on.

 

[gameboy]

As it happens, one of them explains "this is creepy, you are 20 years older than her!"
So, according to my math, they (or atleast the approachee) was 15 years of age.

That was the moment to exit gracefully.

 

[Will_V]

I saw a 3 set today, and, emboldened by my upcoming coaching session, I decided to go and stop the one I noticed. I wouldn't normally go in for 3 sets, it's too overwhelming, even though I tend to focus on on the one I am stopping, but at some point, you have to address the others.

Looping around a crowded high street in the early afternoon, I stopped a petite curvaceous red head.

I told her direct "Hey, I think you look good".

I can't remember the exact turn of events, but the whole group stayed to the spot, so at this point, I didn't suspect anything.

So I expanded with "so it looks like you are out with your friends". At this point, something feels off.

One of them asks my age , and, since I have nothing to hide, I tell them I am 35. Uni girls often ask my age which is what at this point convinces me that they are indeed at uni.

As it happens, one of them explains "this is creepy, you are 20 years older than her!"
So, according to my math, they (or atleast the approachee) was 15 years of age.

But they have this weird semi confrontational /semi jokey vibe, then I switch back to thinking that they are joking and are actually university students.

But she keeps saying she is younger and younger (finishing at 10) then they point out the eldest of the group and recommend her to me! Jokingly, of course.

But I find some sets are up to no good because instead of saying "oh, sorry, we are still in our teens but thanks"; they try to make a big deal by asking how old I am first, at which point I still don't know if they are underaged or just 20 for instance.

Anyway, still completely confused and not wanting for the cringe to go on any longer, I wish her a good day and turn to go, only to be met with a cry of "creep" from one of the girls.

How charming!

I know a lot of you don't understand why I am so keen to avoid approaching underaged, so this is a prime example. After that, I haven't managed any more approaches today due to lack of volume and being too in my head.

I also thought they were old enough which was why I didn't use my common pre opener of "excuse me, are you at uni?". Which is also incongruent with a fully committed front stop.

You can't control what someone else does, there's always girls out there who react badly for one reason or another.

I'd say the main thing you could've done better was your response to her saying she was 15. It sounds like you weren't sure if she was serious and just sort of continued the conversation, and that might have given them the notion that you were thinking about trying to pick her up anyway and got their defenses up. Instead show grave disappointment and say something like "oh well looks like you're too young for me, if only you were a little older .. " and verbally draw the line. That way even if the conversation continued a little further there wouldn't be any confusion about your intentions. I've done that a bunch of times and it typically ends well.

PS Approaching younger girls in groups is always going to be a bit more risky, even if she's like 18 or 20, the age gap is going to be more of a potential issue because her friends are around. Not going too direct, using skillful framing, and building rapport with everyone is going to be super important.