I encountered quite a few times where the girls would challenge me on something. For example on a date, one girl asked me how many girls I had went on date with, I said 10 something, she then said "That's so nasty! Wouldn't you afraid of getting diseases?". I responded by saying I use condom every time, but I felt my reply was not optimal. Now when I think about it, I should have teased "You look like some teenage girl who think sex is nasty." How do you deal with challenges? Do you challenge the girls back?
How do you deal with girls' challenges?
- Thread starter vicknick
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@vicknick dude! Don't walk into them in the first place. You missed great opportunities to chase fame or set discretion frames that wouldn't have took this seriously and teased her.
Chase frame
I think it's cute you're checking me against your boyfriend criteria
Chase frame with tease
Oh wow it's like you're vetting me to be your husband, just so you know I'd want a chocolate cake
Discretion frame
A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell
Flat out teasing
(Look like you're trying to figure it out and add up) say random things like carry the one and add those two, but the ones from Vegas don't count umm I'd say close to a billion
Other tease after she brings up diseases
What diseases? (Look a little worried but then smirk)
A caveat to this, she asked how many you went on a date with, not how many you've bedded. So say "ohh you meant how many I've bedded" followed by the teasing from above
Your challenge is creating friction and you've already failed the test.
Getting into this puts your head on the chopping block if she doesn't like the number. Maybe hers is even higher (probably not in this case). Getting into this before you've bedded her is a really bad move, even after you've bedded them I avoid this and give tease answers, never take this stuff seriously
Chase frame
I think it's cute you're checking me against your boyfriend criteria
Chase frame with tease
Oh wow it's like you're vetting me to be your husband, just so you know I'd want a chocolate cake
Discretion frame
A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell
Flat out teasing
(Look like you're trying to figure it out and add up) say random things like carry the one and add those two, but the ones from Vegas don't count umm I'd say close to a billion
Other tease after she brings up diseases
What diseases? (Look a little worried but then smirk)
A caveat to this, she asked how many you went on a date with, not how many you've bedded. So say "ohh you meant how many I've bedded" followed by the teasing from above
Your challenge is creating friction and you've already failed the test.
Getting into this puts your head on the chopping block if she doesn't like the number. Maybe hers is even higher (probably not in this case). Getting into this before you've bedded her is a really bad move, even after you've bedded them I avoid this and give tease answers, never take this stuff seriously
Her :- "That's so nasty! Wouldn't you be afraid of getting diseases?"
You :- Why step out of the house when you can end up in an accident?
"You look like some teenage girl who thinks sex is nasty"
Don't use this line it comes off as reactive.
If the girl is witty she can come up with many witty lines to counter yours.
Ex :- "You sound like you have experience locking up teenage girls in the basement"
Thanks for your response. Regarding chase framing, wouldn't the girl just say "no" if you try setting chase frame, because if the girl challenge you, that means she is not ready to enter your frame yet (very little compliance at the moment)?
I was thinking about another reply: "Yeah I am attracted to the girl, but that doesn't mean I will have sex with them. I still need to evaluate them and see if we are a match or not. That's the purpose of a date." This will let her know that I have standard and won't simply take any girls for sex?
Another reply is to call her out for asking such childish question: " Well, we are all adult already. There are things that don't need to be specifically mentioned (wearing condom)"?
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@vicknick dude! At the first question this isn't a challenge and let's you set the frame. If she says no take it as a tease, she likes you she just hasn't admitted yet should be your frame, why else is she asking?
The chase frame doubles as a tease, if she doesn't enter the frame you're not being serious and teasing. You're just having fun, it helps set the frame for later, if you react to her saying no you've failed the test, ignore it and continue, you've just swerved a silly question.
You're offering to much for this silly question you appear defensive. You can use this when she asks if you're not worried about diseases because you've already stepped into this and played your hand. Introducing this gambit needs to be smooth and calibrated and not just blurted out.
Wow dude, you're not calling her out for a childish question with that line you'd create friction. Your original line about a condom is better because at least you're informing her you're clean and practice safe sex, you've still fallen into her challenge though and that goes back to my original point, don't run into them...
The chase frame doubles as a tease, if she doesn't enter the frame you're not being serious and teasing. You're just having fun, it helps set the frame for later, if you react to her saying no you've failed the test, ignore it and continue, you've just swerved a silly question.
You're offering to much for this silly question you appear defensive. You can use this when she asks if you're not worried about diseases because you've already stepped into this and played your hand. Introducing this gambit needs to be smooth and calibrated and not just blurted out.
Wow dude, you're not calling her out for a childish question with that line you'd create friction. Your original line about a condom is better because at least you're informing her you're clean and practice safe sex, you've still fallen into her challenge though and that goes back to my original point, don't run into them...
So you mean whenever girls challenge you, you should always be teasing or chase framing her back? And avoid creating friction at all cost? I felt the girl is being a bit disrespectful when she said I am nasty for having lots of sex, who is her to judge me like this.
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@vicknick dude! That depends entirely on the challenge, it's usually better to not take her seriously, she's a girl, she's cute and silly, if she gives you a set up to tease her or set good frames this would be more productive than being reactive to her frames.
As for creating friction, I never said to avoid at all cost, it's quite advanced to purposely create friction and this early on in the date you want to create the path of least resistance, starting a battle isn't in the best interest to seduce her, it can be done, opposites attract and all of that but again you need to be calibrated with this. When you're first trying to create friction you'll typically go to far and fail a few times until you calibrate this.
Dude this isn't disrespectful, and she doesn't owe you respect at this point, you haven't earned it. Read the recent article by @Chase about dudes wanting respect from girls they've just met, it'll help you with this mindset. I'd also advise reading up on changing the Overton window, there's a great article for this to.
She's setting her frame and giving you her perspective, this is information to work with. Read my response where I told you getting involved with this is putting your head on the chopping block, and now you're offended by her thoughts? That's definitely a way to get her into bed :')
It's not disrespectful to have a different point of view, and what she says and what she thinks could be completely different. Again this is about fame control and leading the conversation to productive topics
As for creating friction, I never said to avoid at all cost, it's quite advanced to purposely create friction and this early on in the date you want to create the path of least resistance, starting a battle isn't in the best interest to seduce her, it can be done, opposites attract and all of that but again you need to be calibrated with this. When you're first trying to create friction you'll typically go to far and fail a few times until you calibrate this.
Dude this isn't disrespectful, and she doesn't owe you respect at this point, you haven't earned it. Read the recent article by @Chase about dudes wanting respect from girls they've just met, it'll help you with this mindset. I'd also advise reading up on changing the Overton window, there's a great article for this to.
She's setting her frame and giving you her perspective, this is information to work with. Read my response where I told you getting involved with this is putting your head on the chopping block, and now you're offended by her thoughts? That's definitely a way to get her into bed :')
It's not disrespectful to have a different point of view, and what she says and what she thinks could be completely different. Again this is about fame control and leading the conversation to productive topics