There is a reason we call it seduction and not proposition. A proposition is trying to kiss someone when they are not desirous of it, a seduction is compelling someone to desire to kiss and be kissed by you. When you attempt escalations that are uncalibrated you are essentially putting forth a series of propositions are out of tune with that individual womans desire. The environment this creates is not conducive to seduction, as it is placing your desire in her lap and saying "what are you going to do about it?" rather than compelling her desire towards you and saying "here's what I am going to do about this." There is certainly an element of push pull to this process, but you are never pushing or pulling too much, and when you do push you only do so to take a step back and pull her even deeper into your world. This requires a great deal of listening. When we get too much in our own desire we tend to push and push, but this pushing is out of line with what is really taking place. The end goal is not I want to kiss her, it is I am going to make her want to kiss/be kissed by me (sometimes even counter to what she previously thought she wanted). If you are coming from a place of I want to kiss her you are already aiming for the wrong target. You have to play the game with the correct goal post in mind. While there are tons of elements that go into the process a major component is momentum, and a great deal of momentum is precedence. If you reach the end goal and are to look back you can easily see all of the moments the preceded it and how they were a gradual and steady build (sometimes faster than others, mind you). If you look back at a botched attempt you can see a gap, sometimes small sometimes large, in the precedence that has been set. You will know where you skipped a step. The way to avoid the kind of scenario you described in the first place is to build frames that set a precedence that is conducive towards seduction, then use calibrated escalations to generate momentum. There are a whole manner of techniques and such to do this, but that's for another time. If you have already framed yourself well as a prospective lover, and generated a decent amount of momentum in that direction well before the moment of kissing, if you have already set a precedence of sexual conversational tones and seductive forms of touch, the the moment you kiss will come naturally. If you get to the moment of kissing and she does not reciprocate a few things could be going on
-She is shit testing you (if this is the case, just pass it)
-She has completely disqualified you for one reason or another (which is up for you to trouble shoot)
-She is unclear of how you fit into her world (Lover, Boyfriend, Friend). If this is the case there has not been a strong lover frame laid forth and maintained
-There is not sufficient momentum. This would mean you lost track of the true end goal, for her to want to kiss you, and pushed your own desires onto her (I want to kiss her now) at an uncalibrated moment
-A combination to varying degrees of all of the above
So
-Be clear what the true goal is in the first place. You are playing the "I'm gonna make her want me so bad" game.
-Come with a strong lover frame from the get go
-Frame yourself as the prize and hold that frame.
-Take the lead, but do so based on how she operates
-Calibrate by listening to the sub communication of her desire (the way she responds to your frames and touch. Her body language. and so on)
-Gradually build strong momentum by escalating in a manner that sets the correct precedence for each following step.
Now, you don't always have time to set the correct frames and build a solid momentum upon opening her. Like when she is rushing to work and you only talk for 5 minutes. That means your first date is better spent laying some ground work than it is pushing for a close. That is not to say a close is not on the table but it is all about the momentum. If the momentum is not clearly headed in the direction, I personally quit while I am ahead, leave her wanting more and build tension for the next meet. Sometimes you might think there is momentum, you make a move, and get turned down, that's fine. You will have plenty of time after the date to diagnose where you miss stepped. For now though, you have to keep cool and roll with you. What you don't do is push for another kiss. Nor do you get awkward and shrink. You say something to the extent of "What can I say, I go for what I want. I don't expect you to know what you want though" and change the subject, retract your energy a bit and focus on other things. You set a frame of, yes I went for a kiss because I am a man who goes for what he wants, and I don't need you to know that you want me. This sub communicates that she does not know what she wants, and while you at the time you wanted a kiss, you have now lost interest because you want someone who knows what they want, and that they want to kiss you. Now she get's to decide weather she wants to risk losing you because she was fence sitting and downplayed you. Sure she might decide that she definitely doesn't want you. That's fine, you move one. A man who values himself does not keep trying for something who knows if not there. But a lot of time your statement about her not knowing what she wants will hold true. Another simple thing you can say is (with steady confidence) "Huh, could have sworn there was chemistry here...So(change the subject, create space and so on. You're the one leading the interaction after all). Now she is going "Oh shit maybe there was chemistry what if he starts thinking I'm not in to him and I lose him. You now give your interaction a brief moment to find it's feet again and where it stands and go from there. Chemistry may spark back up quick, or every thing just plateaus. If the chemistry sparks quick, be sure not to jump the gun (your goose is really cooked if you botch this). If she tries to kiss you at this point you can even do a bit of push pull and say dominantly say something like "Wait a sec miss flip flop, I need a women who knows what she wants. Promise you're a women who knows what she wants". All while slowly and steadily pulling her in, lips practically touching "you promise". If the energy just plateaus after your first botched attempt, find a moment toend on a conversational high note, seed the idea of another meet up, and call it a night. This will give you a much better chance of reigniting some spark next time you meet. Wash rinse repeat.
Hope this helps
-Stray Dog
