How do YOU keep track of YOUR goals?

[Big Daddy]

Something interesting, or funny, at least, happened just moments ago. I was looking for pieces of paper to write things on and found a notepad that I used rather sporadically to write thoughts that crossed my mind.

It all started in early 2013, just after I read one of those articles (sadly, from elsewhere on the internet) we find frequently in the beginning of each year. Goal setting and accomplishing what you planned for that year kind of article. Then I just thought that I'd give the article a go and write down my goals in a journal (actually, that was my first time doing it), where I could write them every day, or at least, every couple of days, so I'd remember them by my soul and do the hard work required for you to accomplish your goals.

Fast-forward one year, and I just happened to find that same notebook, after months of not even looking at it. I started reading everything that I wrote, things that I thought I'd be doing by the time I was reading it again in 2014, and couldn't help but let a little laugh escape from my mouth. They were very ambitious goals, yeah, but still very accomplish-able. The thing is I completely forgot almost every one of them.

The ones that were the result of a well established habit kept hanging on my mind and I could remember more-or-less what I wrote on that letter (subconsciously). Things as packing an amount of muscle that I specified at the time and acing more exams. Even though I didn't gain as much as muscle as I wanted and didn't ace as much as exams as I wanted, I still did progress - very, very slow and steady progress, because going to the gym and reading textbooks were habits.

Shit like starting a small start-up, create a system that will have most of the things I hate doing automated or delegated, start taking drum lessons were completely forgotten. But even if you did remember, over time, you'd think that your plans were just "way too unrealistic" and that you might just "keep doing the shit I'm doing because that's what I can realistically do."

I tried to write them every morning to fight this mindset, but eventually, I stopped. And even if I wrote them every day, I think it wouldn't matter. Because I didn't BREATHE them, I wasn't upset that I was doing nothing to may be able to do it one day.

This one of those topics that are more emotional than rational, but as Chase says, everything can be broken down to understandable pieces. So how YOU remind yourself that you are not doing shit to achieve your goals? How do you track yourself over time without "making your plans more realistic" (because really, most of the time it's just our mind preventing us to do the hard work) and BREATHE your goals and do the correspondent hard work?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Big Daddy,

I just post something on Definition and Habits on Lifestyle tab. YOu might want to check it out. It might work for you.

viewtopic.php?f=45&t=5259

z@c+

 

[daviddreamer]

I think of my goals so much its ingrained in my head lol.

 

[PinotNoir]

Personally, I didn't figure this out until recently.

I have a big calendar that I tacked to my wall. I tried to use calendar software, but it's difficult to get the big picture with details on a small screen, and you can easily avoid looking at it.

The calendar is near where my computer is so that I'll always see it and am reminded of it. If I do the work for that day, then I mark it on the calendar. I circle days with specific goals (or races for my running one).

For me personally, I need a full year calendar (examples below). Since the spaces are kind of small, I use abbreviations for everything. This lets me feel good about the hard work that I have done and bad about the work that I haven't done. I can also see shallow improvements (i.e., more work), predict future weeks, and set goals easily.

I haven't bought one for seduction yet, but I probably should. Currently, I just use a Google Doc to log approaches, etc.

http://attractclientswithease.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/wall-calendar-pic.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CMMi5xQsXAY/UUhfmE41D7I/AAAAAAAAC-g/26AYE5xatoY/s1600/cal+10.jpg

 

[Eric]

For me it's a bit odd...

I compete with myself in my head, and figure out constantly how I can better / beat myself. I'm my own role model, so to speak.

I tried doing a new years goal sheet once, I ended up forgetting about it and the goals. I looked back recently and I completely crushed every one of them.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Eric,

Can you elaborate on this:

I compete with myself in my head, and figure out constantly how I can better / beat myself. I'm my own role model, so to speak.

I'm actually intrigued and would like to know more, if you don't mind.

 

[Eric]

Eric,

Can you elaborate on this:

I compete with myself in my head, and figure out constantly how I can better / beat myself. I'm my own role model, so to speak.

I'm actually intrigued and would like to know more, if you don't mind.

Sure,

I know from experience that it doesn't really matter what the goal is, you'll eventually get to it with time (if you keep chipping away at it). Goals are limitations, really. You say "okay, I'm going to get a girlfriend" and it's like.. if that's your goal then that's all you're going to get. If you focus on yourself and make your goal / aim to be the simple act of PROGRESS, or bettering yourself, then you have no limitations. "Okay, I'm here at this moment and I'm good at these things. Let's fix my weaknesses and get EVEN better at what I'm already good at. Let's make progress". Sooner or later you'll look back and be like "wow, that was my goal? I totally obliterated that".

Another problem with goals in my mind is that, if you don't reach them it's negative reinforcement. It puts pressure to meet expectations and when you fail expectations it's a bit disappointing. If you have no expectations, no pressure, and all you do is continually strive to get better and chip away then you will see immense progress.

 

[TheWiseFool]

Interesting perspective/viewpoint, thank you!

 

[Big Daddy]

Zac,

I read your post, and made a more in-depth reply down below.

PinotNoir,

Yeah man, I did that for some time when I have to focus on my finals and it worked very well, but then I forgot about doing it again. I use Google Calendar to set up my to-dos and I find that on-screen shit doesn't "motivates" you because you don't physically make that giant red cross on the end of that day. I don't like the looks of papers hanging on my wall, but maybe I should get over this... haha

Eric,

I actually LOVED your idea of keep forcing yourself out of your comfort zone by little incremental steps, that summed over time will get you there. What I've been trying to do is setting goals a step outside of my comfort zone, through little goals, habits and all that stuff. But I find that "HARD" habits are difficult to establish. I know that I should do ABC, and I will for a week, but then it vanishes.

I particularly liked 2012 because it was a year that I managed to do something that I hated, which was seating for a period of time reading textbooks, every single day. In one semester my grades went through the roof. The downside is that by the end of the year I was so motherfucking tired of it that I practically never touched a textbook again, and here I am trying to get back to it. Maybe it was because the circumstances of my life at that point pressured me to do it - I HAD to do it - while now I can just chill and "that's OK".

I agree with you that if you keep working on it long enough you'll someday reach your goals. But what if you have a limited time to accomplish that, and that alone doesn't motivates you to go balls to the walls with improving yourself towards your goals? I'll give you a real and personal example so you can understand better. I'm in college and gotta have extremely good grades by the end of this year so that I can get a scholarship/exchange program that I want so badly, but I can't seem to motivate myself to sit down and study. Even if it's just a little. I KNOW what I should do, HOW I should do and even WHEN I should do. It's scheduled. But I simply don't do it by the time it's scheduled for me to do it.

 

[Eric]

I actually LOVED your idea of keep forcing yourself out of your comfort zone by little incremental steps, that summed over time will get you there. What I've been trying to do is setting goals a step outside of my comfort zone, through little goals, habits and all that stuff. But I find that "HARD" habits are difficult to establish. I know that I should do ABC, and I will for a week, but then it vanishes.

Yeah, you got my idea perfectly. It's see it very similar to a limit or a summation in calculus. It's the sum of the parts that equals the whole. If you set your goal to be X, you'll approach towards it but never quite touch.

That's why I set absurdly high goals when I DO set them. Like, "I'm going to become one of the best rock climbers in the world, and best seducers", and then I go balls to the walls. It's very emotionally draining, it's not for everyone. There will be days where I have climbed at my limit for 30 days straight, 3-4 hours a day, and then did a competition, and then trained without rest and I'm just like... god I hate life. The progress is quite insane though. I'd wake up with phantom pains in my fingers and felt like complete shit, hobbling around, but I'd still make progress.

Some people work better with goals, others like me don't do so well.

For weight loss calorie counting NEVER worked for me. Ever. Could not do it. Something unstructured though like fasting/feasting, or ketogenic diets worked amazingly well because I didn't have to watch myself. I could monitor things on a short term basis. "Have I eaten too much recently? Okay, looks like I've put on a little weight, let's do some fasting and get it down for a bit and see want to do from there".

I also find difficulty sticking to hard habits, but I find that to be good thing.. I don't have any bad habits in general because of it. Whenever I set schedules for myself I always push it off and procrastinate. "Oh, I have a week I can do it in a few days", turns into "Oh, I have a few days, I'll do it tomorrow", into "I have class tomorrow, I'll do it in a few hours", into "I have class in a few hours, better do it" and sometimes "Well, I'll just do it during class". I too found my greatest success just chipping away every day rather than setting a schedule, but it's mentally exhausting.

 

[Big Daddy]

Yeah, you got my idea perfectly. It's see it very similar to a limit or a summation in calculus. It's the sum of the parts that equals the whole. If you set your goal to be X, you'll approach towards it but never quite touch.

That concept is beautiful. Did you take technical courses on college as well?

I also find difficulty sticking to hard habits, but I find that to be good thing.. I don't have any bad habits in general because of it. Whenever I set schedules for myself I always push it off and procrastinate. "Oh, I have a week I can do it in a few days", turns into "Oh, I have a few days, I'll do it tomorrow", into "I have class tomorrow, I'll do it in a few hours", into "I have class in a few hours, better do it" and sometimes "Well, I'll just do it during class". I too found my greatest success just chipping away every day rather than setting a schedule, but it's mentally exhausting.

Yup, that's me. Your concept seems interesting, but really hardcore and draining. I procrastinate when I set goals, and procrastinate when I try working towards something. It's not like I'm can't do it, because as I have in the past, I know I can. I certainly know that if I keep looking for a way to nail this, as a skill, eventually, over time, I'll find something that suits me very well.

I'll give your super hardcore mode a go because I've done it in 2012 and while DRAINING I still amaze how much improvement I got in little time. It even seems like it was another life or person, I sometimes think how that was even possible. If I did that one semester per year, I'd be a legend.

 

[PinotNoir]

The idea of going at small increments and always just improving/bettering yourself is a great one to have. Even if you only do something for 10 seconds, that's better than not doing it. Moving forward is always better than standing still. We can get so caught up on being perfect and on quality 1 hour sessions that we just end up not doing it, but if you do something just for a minute and gradually increase the time, it's so much easier to stay on target.

As for the super hardcore approach, I wouldn't advise that for everything. For seduction, it may work. Even though it will be extremely emotionally draining, it will improve yourself greatly. However, even with seduction, you wouldn't want to go out and approach 100 girls on a college campus because then it will greatly hurt your reputation. Going super hardcore works if you can properly manage the negative consequences (e.g., go to 10 different malls and approach 10 girls so that your reputation is not hurt) and the negative consequences are not severe. For example, doing something physically hardcore may have too severe of consequences, where you can greatly injure yourself (and then won't be able to do the task for 2 weeks or more or hurt yourself even worse). While with seduction, if you can spread out the number of girls across different places, your reputation won't be hurt, and at most, you will be hurt emotionally/mentally, but is recovered easily after a good night's sleep.

As far as going super hardcore, that reminds me of something that I did one semester in college. Over summer break, I read the biggest book that I could find, reading a few pages/day. Then, when school starts back up, all of the books are so easy in comparison. You'll be like, "Wow, this is only like half the size of the book I read for summer. I'll go ahead and read this in a couple of weeks." Now, you could end up procrastinating it, but for me, I knew exactly how much time it would take, so I knew if I began reading now that it would be done within X time. So, if you go the super hardcore approach, it can set a good scale and make everything that is less seem very easy. And on the contrary, if you've never read a big book, a 100-page books look daunting because you have nothing to compare it with, and you begin to stress out about it.

 

[Big Daddy]

The idea of going at small increments and always just improving/bettering yourself is a great one to have. Even if you only do something for 10 seconds, that's better than not doing it. Moving forward is always better than standing still. We can get so caught up on being perfect and on quality 1 hour sessions that we just end up not doing it, but if you do something just for a minute and gradually increase the time, it's so much easier to stay on target.

That is SO true. I often think "oh, I'm not gonna even start this shit because I'm tired and I won't learn any of it." Most of the time that is regarding studies or going out to meet girls or meet up with people in general, or something beyond my "passive" state. While I like lifting, I skipped the gym today under the excuse that I was tired and it would be better for my body that I rest and go balls to the walls tomorrow. That's not quite a good example because that is a habit that I actually like, and I'm 100% sure that I'll hit the gym tomorrow. But if it wasn't, like studying, it would be a better choice to go to the gym, but have a lighter session (lighter loads, fewer sets, etc).

I'm a big big fan of efficiency. I try to do things that requires learning or improvement (e.g. studying or weightlifting) just to the extent that will force my mind to expand and my body to grow, then stop for them to grow. But you're absolutely right, that didn't come on my mind explicitly as you said before. I should focus on doing things regardless of hitting that spot, and just paying attention not to get overboard with it when I happen to reach it. It'd certainly be better that way.

 

[Eric]

The idea of going at small increments and always just improving/bettering yourself is a great one to have. Even if you only do something for 10 seconds, that's better than not doing it. Moving forward is always better than standing still. We can get so caught up on being perfect and on quality 1 hour sessions that we just end up not doing it, but if you do something just for a minute and gradually increase the time, it's so much easier to stay on target.

That is SO true. I often think "oh, I'm not gonna even start this shit because I'm tired and I won't learn any of it." Most of the time that is regarding studies or going out to meet girls or meet up with people in general, or something beyond my "passive" state. While I like lifting, I skipped the gym today under the excuse that I was tired and it would be better for my body that I rest and go balls to the walls tomorrow. That's not quite a good example because that is a habit that I actually like, and I'm 100% sure that I'll hit the gym tomorrow. But if it wasn't, like studying, it would be a better choice to go to the gym, but have a lighter session (lighter loads, fewer sets, etc).

I'm a big big fan of efficiency. I try to do things that requires learning or improvement (e.g. studying or weightlifting) just to the extent that will force my mind to expand and my body to grow, then stop for them to grow. But you're absolutely right, that didn't come on my mind explicitly as you said before. I should focus on doing things regardless of hitting that spot, and just paying attention not to get overboard with it when I happen to reach it. It'd certainly be better that way.

This is a great book that I would recommend to everyone. It goes into bulgarian style lifting of maxing day in day out for years on lifts, and the body adapts. He goes into how the brain and body adapts to learning skills and such, was an eye opener for me.

http://www.myosynthesis.com/squat-every-day