Socializing How do you move on from your old friends?

[Starboy]

When you realize that your values have changed and no longer align with your friends/peers or you individually have changed how do you leave some of your old friends behind?

Do you just ghost them or block them from social medias and #s? Or is that too petty? A old friend of mind from grade school who i've just not reached out to at all and who texts me every few months asking me to hangout hmu at almost 11 in the night and said "hey starboy do you wanna hang out". I didn't respond to his text. I kinda wonder if that was fucked up. Idk what he does now,but from what I can tell he hasn't changed much. He lacks passions,drive,ambitions,social awareness, etc.

I have other guy friends who I regard as either annoying,low value, not trustworthy,not similiar enough or weak. I don't expect all my guy friends to want to practice pickup or be into self improvement as me that's unrealistic,but I just don't feel compelled to be in touch with them or hang out with them.

Also the female friends I have met through social circle I don't even talk to them either. Some of them are just airheads,too feminist,dumb,have attitudes and personas I don't like. So I don't reach out to them either.
I feel that unless female friends will go out of their way to support you instead of the "be a girl's uber driver and hold her shopping bags" one way support that most guys do with women it's pointless maintaining friendships with women

Is this a toxic attitude to have as a man? To evaluate all your friends as whether they are worthy of keeping around or not?

 

[Vision]

No, it's a worthwhile thing to think about, imo... depends on how far you want to go in life. The further you go, the less people you'll find who can really grow with you.

I've found that I usually have different types of friends... I have some kickass entrepreneur friends... but a lot of those guys don't take care of their health... I have some health friends but a lot of those guys barely have two nickels to rub together. I have some pickup friends... but a lot of those guys are alcoholics or have serious emotional issues or something.

If you raise your standards too high for everyone, you'll just find yourself alone... which can be good for awhile if you want to get serious about anything, since most people who are serious tend to be low key as well. But if you want to have friends, you'll need to figure out what you can accept and what you can't accept in people around you.

Or you can always just have friends for different things. But I cut out all of my friends who were just hanging out with their thumbs in their asses because we just didn't see eye to eye anymore.

Doesn't matter how you do it... you can try inviting them on the journey with you but most will bow out before you can cut them off... others will fail their way into trying to make you proud of them.

I don't have a real answer to the friendship thing... I found that the more successful I have become at things in my life, the more relationships I've sacrificed as a result. And the more I grow, the less I want people who aren't going anywhere around me.

But it's awesome when you have friends who are in alignment... the conversations are amazing.

 

[PalmaSailor]

About every ten years you outgrow them if you’re doing it right.

a lot will try to cling on, especially if they’re losers but you need to clear them down.

in this day and age that means blocking, and they’ll get furious, but that’s just life.

you’ll become the average of the five people you hand out with so chose them carefully, and if necessary hang out with no one.

 

[Starboy]

About every ten years you outgrow them if you’re doing it right.

a lot will try to cling on, especially if they’re losers but you need to clear them down.

in this day and age that means blocking, and they’ll get furious, but that’s just life.

you’ll become the average of the five people you hand out with so chose them carefully, and if necessary hang out with no one.

I was thinking I don't like to tolerate much from people and pretend to fit in. Maybe I would need to be alone for a bit if I really no longer vibe with anyone I know.
It might not bother me to have a consistent social circle presently because I have ambitions and dreams right now ,but reality might set in months later and my feelings could change.

 

[PalmaSailor]

I was thinking I don't like to tolerate much from people and pretend to fit in. Maybe I would need to be alone for a bit if I really no longer vibe with anyone I know.
It might not bother me to have a consistent social circle presently because I have ambitions and dreams right now ,but reality might set in months later and my feelings could change.

I took a year out from women and sex and I have also ruthlessly cleared down “friends”
Going solo for a prolonged period will certainly clear you4 mind.
Any true friends will still be there when you get back.if they get really pissed “you weren’t there for them” then you’re better off shot of them anyway

 

[Fuck This]

It happens naturally when you have higher level people you want to be around instead.

 

[Starboy]

Bump

 

[Tim Iron]

Also take a proactive approach by continually making attempts to meet friends that meet your new standards.

 

[Darius]

It happens naturally when you have higher level people you want to be around instead.

basically this. Have a set of folks that you hang out with or some stuff that you would rather do instead of hanging out with these old friends, and then just ... go do that. And tell them you're busy.

It's what girls do. I had a girl once tell me she can't hang out with me cause she has to 'hang her laundry out'. lol. Unless they're socially retarded, they'll get the message don't worry.

The beauty of all this is that it's actually true. You are, in fact, busy. Busy living your life without them. And you can always change your mind later if you want, just tell them you're free.

I wouldn't block people's numbers or tell them they're not worthy of keeping around. It just creates enemies.

Who knows, the same guy you don't hang out with today cuz he's a loser might make something of himself one day, or he has connections to valuable places or people (i'm always surprised what hidden connections some apparently inept people have). And then he'll be valuable to you and you'll be glad you know him.

That is my strategy anyways. I found it works quite well