As long as you are in a high traffic venue, t's quite easy to practice approaching as a beginner. If you are determined, you can practice many, many times in just few hours.
It gets more difficult when you want to practice mid, and especially late game elements. I'm specifically talking asking about pulling as this seems to be me weak point.
How did you guys practice pulling before you managed to master it?
I though night game could be better to practice than day game as you can open several girls in a venue, build comfort with few of them and try to pull each who you had reasonable amount of comfort. I guess in few hours, there should be an opportunity to practice pulling at least 4-5 per night.
Do I even look at his problem correctly?
Any tips on how to improve pulling?
A lot of really great answers.
Notice that all of them are slightly different, but all have significant overlap. We're all taking our own interpretations of the question.
The cheat answer is that these are all self limiting beliefs, and there's no problem, no issue to solve.
To answer your question directly, you just want to practice pulling, nothing else
1) The Let Out aka the 2 AM Scramble aka "Where's the After Party" aka Parking Lot Pimping
Most places in the US that i've been to open at 9 pm and close at 2. Nobody really shows up until 11, the club is packed by 12, and the prettiest girls usually are leaving before 1. That's just been my experience, yours may vary.
By 12:30-1:30 - strangers are pairing off, groups are making plans for the after party, diner/late night eats, or going straight to bed.
And then there are a
bunch of people that didn't pair off...
By 2:00 am - thirsty guys are trying to figure out which of the girls are looking for Vitamin D that didn't get chose...
This is when you start your approaches, use a lot of nonverbal language, and then just ask the girl to "Let's just get out of here".
So this half of this really relying on your passive game - i.e. your frame, your nonverbal body language, pre-selection if any, social proof if any, your looks, your clothes, your workout regimen, your money
for logistics, and how close/frictionless your logistics are.
The 2 AM Scramble relies on your active game only a little bit. Your verbals in general should be short and punchy. I have eased off using a lot of humor, because it relieves sexual tension, where I want to increase it.
Like most pulls, it's not heavy on convincing or conversion or even frame adoption - but at 2 am and worked up by x-rated rap lyrics courtesy of Sexxy Red - the player brings his best beach to the sea and rides the wave.
Outside of your control, the scramble also relies on her good vibes, increased buying temperature from being in what is a sexually charged atmosphere.
All that said, you get a shot at pulling without all the proper leg work at the end of every night. So even if you bombed all night, you get a reset at the end of the night.
Some guys excel in the parking lot, in the after the party crowd. Like sharks in the water.
Obviously you can go direct earlier in the night, but you don't have all of the environmentals and socials working for you. They're working against you. She doesn't want to leave. She still wants to dance and sing along. She's not going to naturally separate from her friends 30 minutes after getting to the club.
And even then, you've got solid guys like Marc Chino that can routinely pull in 15 minutes from Las Vegas mega clubs at the height of the excitement.
I'm sure if you dig through the FR's here, you'll see guys that have good fundamentals, run solid game, and just make things happen.
However, coming at this like a rookie player, you are not there....yet!
2) The Spring Break/Vacation/"It's my Birthday"/Music Festivals
Rather than wait for the club to end, you can run a compressed seduction cycle while the club is still hot. That's just going direct.
However some situations are just made for "pull practice"
You want to find girls in "go" mode, for lack of a better term.
Girls on vacation, girls on spring break, girls who have been dancing, singing along, sipping something, smoking something, dropping something, snorting something -
obviously nothing pops off until the girl is sober - I need to say that because there are autistic dudes reading this post.
In these situations, the girl will give herself permission to enjoy life. (and if you've been around the community for a while, there is a lot said on introducing those ideas to girls that are little reserved...)
So if you find yourself at a foam party, you're feeling it, everyone sees you having a great time, she's feeling it and everyone's feeling it, you can
- Assume Attraction
- Assume Trust
- Assume Arousal
And go straight for the pull.
The key here is frame.
Your frame, your world view is rock solid.
The frame you set for her is one of adventure, of tapping into your wild side, etc..
When you see instant makeouts, either in PUA footage, or in real life - it's basically emotional intelligence on both sides - she sees it in him, he sees it in her - and they go straight back to their reptilian brains.
As players, we not only recognize this in girls, we recognize situations where this can happen, and where's it prevalent.
In a sense, the "vacation" scenario is really screening for girls that are ready to go - and it's not really "conversion" game per se - but the burden is actually higher because you're fast forwarding past the groundwork.
Those are the 2 I can think of right off top. Both overlap, but hopefully you've seen the similarities and differences.
Back to The Basics/Understanding the Pull
In general, I agree with the basic idea about small chunking the game
Level 1 - just socialize with strangers
Level 2 - socialize with girls in their groups - get comfortable just talking to broads
Level 3 - proper opening of a group - i.e. using ice breakers, jokes, telling stories
Level 4 - Asking logistics questions, understanding the social dynamics of her group
^ these are just basics. (and the levels don't mean anything, just a word to illustrate my point)
Level 5 - Is when you start to do some one-on-one attraction with the girl you're interested in.
This might mean baiting her during your openner, so that she "chooses" you - and then you flirt in front of her friends.
But it might mean using some plausibile deniability to get a bit of privacy from the friend group, and then running your attraction game.
AT some point, you're going to need to "pull" the girl from her friends.
And that's practice pulling.
Be it to the bar, the toilet, the dance floor, the smoking area, etc -
logistical escalation
in the venue is one of the keys to logistical escalation
out of the venue.
The key with pulling a chick around the venue is
trust building. Everytime you pull her off of her boogerwolf friends, maybe you say something dirty, get some kino in, maybe a smooch, but you bring her back to her friends. Friends trust you. She trusts you. And she trusts her friends's judgment about you, more than her own.
What's the real thing that you're practicing with pulling?
There are a lot of meta skills you learn while doing pick up.
- Asserting Your Boundaries
- Directing Others
Both of which sit on a foundation of belief in self.
Because you have to believe that what you are a good guy AND what you're doing is RIGHT and GOOD.
In terms of practice, escalation is really the thing that builds up your belief in self AND also gets results.
Asserting your boundaries comes up a lot, but in the short game, it's usually at front end during the attraction phase.
Directing others - i.e. telling her what to do, where to stand, etc - Pulling a chick is directing her action.
Direction others is usually not something that most men have done, much less to women, much less to women they're attracted to, much less to hotties that don't need to listen at all.
Why? Why are guys not good at telling girls what to do, to their face, and expecting it to be done?
As men, we are
- Students beholden to teachers
- Employees following managers
- Consumers buying what is offered
- Entrepreneurs that have to listen to customers
- Voters that vote for whatever is put in front of them.
- "Leaders" that people follow "naturally"
- Artists that make art for ourselves
Rarely are we teachers, managers, coaches, and politicians.
It's not enough to have autonomy of self/control of one's boundaries.
In order to run great game, we need to be in charge of others. Not just the girl we are with, but everyone around us. This is not an excuse to be a jerk ordering everyone around, but learning to apply your will and get something for yourself....
There's a reason they don't teach this stuff in school...
We, as men/most men, don't tell people what to do.
And that's the real thing when it comes to the pull - you're the one that's calling the shots, a position that you're not really experienced in.
That's when the doubt comes in. That's when it shows up in your face, vocal tone, and body language.
When she sees you, her animal brain processes the behavior, and that's when she feels the "ick".
In your mind....What if you're wrong? What if the next venue is not great? What if I fail to perform when the time comes? What if she thinks my clean place is a mess... Less and less confident in yourself.
All these self doubt questions kick in, especially as a rookie, and especially as you get closer to the connection you want to make.
This isn't just you. There's a reason that a lot of countries/cultures NEED alcohol in order to start
conversations. We need chemicals to silence the self doubt. Not with pickup though.
But yeah, that's my long take on how to practice pulling.
