How do you solidify your mindset, vibe and frame?

[Jan]

Social interactions and game are a complex topic.

There are thousands of factors at play, nuances, general rules and exceptions of the rules.

I realized that my "performance" is very volatile. There are nights or parts of the night when I'm in a good vibe/mindset and things are working as expected, there are other times when everything collapses and nothing works.

I feel overwhelmed and confused. Even thought I have a solid theoretical background and lots of experience, I'm not able to maintain consistency. There are surely gaps in my knowledge and understanding of the game, but I feel like this is a lesser factor. The more challenging thing is so much stuff in my head, and unconscious switching between things which do work for me and these things which don't

Have you guys had this problem that you had successes, but you also continue making plenty of mistakes, and your failures are as common or maybe more common than your successes?

How do you bring consistency to your mind? How do you solidify your frame/vibe?

I feel like this whole things is too complex (at least in my mind) and even with plenty of experience I keep forgetting what is the "appropriate" course of action in certain situations. Even more difficult is to maintain an inner vibe/mindset. It's difficult for me to maintain the mindset consciously. Sometimes I realise that my subconscious mind is changing my mindset behind the scene and I barely even realize. Until it's too late.

Have you guys had the same experience, how do you deal with this problem?

 

[orkie123]

I also go through similar feelings. Sometimes it's easy to be too tough on yourself. You have to remember that social and seductive/persuasion skills are one of the most difficult skills in life and require a lot of practise and continuous improvement as interactions with humans are more dynamic then say learning how to program. . That's why many don't like careers in sales for example.

I try to remind myself these things when I feel like this:

1) Begin to align your values and morals with what you want to achieve. e.g. "I'm a student learning to identify how to connect and give incredible seductive adventures to girls who are receptive. I value giving girls exciting experiences and leaving them better off then before they found me.

Your values will change over time but when it is coherent with who you are now, it makes it easier to just let things be. E.g. by knowing you are a student, it is implied that at times you will mess things up but that's okey because that is normal for students learning a skill.

2) Focus on actions, not results

Many of us here are analytical guys. Too analytical probably. This is a big one personally where my view of myself can change wildly based on the latest result. Such volatility is not good as you base how you feel and what you do based on things you can't control. Sure, sometimes it could be bad game that messed things up, but it could equally be that you could have ran perfect game and the girl(s) that night just wanted to party with their friends or whatever.

If you focus on actions then it doesn't matter what the result is. She loved your seduction and went to bed with you? Perfect. She was cold and harsh and left? Awesome - at least you approached and won't have any regrets.

3) Do not split your focus too much
This is one of my biggest "Do as I say and not as I do" but humans are very bad at multitasking. Even if not doing things at the same time, it can be hard for us to switch from doing X to doing Y. Try to focus on one type of game and one/few sticking points per interaction. This will fast-forward results as you can more reliably improve aspects of your game. The feeling of knowing you have made progress is also amazing for momentum and feeling good about spending time on seduction skills.

E.g. if you try to improve say 5-10 aspects each time you go on a date, you might improve each one a little but it will be harder to notice the difference. However, if you say - the next 3 dates I'm going to focus on eye contact and I don't mind if I mess up other things a little. Then you can easily see the difference between how you were at the start to how you are at the end. That noticeable improvement will motivate you to then go and improve some other aspect.

 

[Zoro]

Having a life outside of meeting women.

Take good care of yourself, eat well, sleep well, exercise, engage in your passions, etc.

Have a meaningful goal.

Know what you stand for, what you want in life, what you want with women, what you don’t want, etc.

The guys I know who do great with women, don’t really think about women that often. You could call them naturals, sure but any man could do what I see is working for them.

One friend in particular is very passionate and driven towards his mission. More so than anyone I know or have ever met, and he meets new beautiful regularly, just going about his day. People in general are drawn to him and his vision.

in other words, how do you solidify mindset?

by knowing what you want, being passionate about it, having a meaningful connection to life

how do you have great vibe?
Again by being connected to something that fills you with passion and energy, something meaningful, being on your mission, on your adventure

as for frame, again knowing what you want, what you don’t want, what you stand for etc.