How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedestal?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I have some things going for me in life right now:

1. In shape
2. Amazing grades

Yet what bothers me is that I haven't had much luck with the opposite sex. Growing up I had the "helicopter parents" that micro-managed my life and didn't really let me make many friends which affected me in terms of relationships. Got into PUA and by the age of 18 I was regularly approaching girls and getting their numbers. When I started college I had about 3 girls that were above average looking (in my eyes hot) show interest in me but I failed with them due to lack of experience and I waited too long. Had to transfer to another college which had the major I was looking for and ever since being here I have felt lonelier than ever. Current university is a huge state school with a large greek life scene that runs a lot of the parties.

Then there is another thing, I find myself almost exclusively attracted to white girls, specifically white american (like latinas and persian girls too but not many where I am at). I know you guys will try to convince me that girls of other races are hot and they are but I am almost exclusively attracted to white girls because most of the girls I am around are attractive white girls. Some black girls and indian girls have literally thrown themselves at me but I am just not interested in those races what so ever. You will say "how can you expect white girls to like you when you don't give other races a chance?", the truth is I don't know but I am not going to go for girls I am not attracted to and I am just not attracted to black or indian girls.

Now I have not had much luck with attractive or decent looking white girls my entire life and I thought it would change as I became better looking but it hasn't (I look like Sami Kheidera). In fact that is the group of girls which I have mostly received the glare and laughs (condescending) for even approaching here at my university. I don't have any kind of a foreign accent but I do get grouped as foreign because of the way I look. It's driving me to be frustrated and not enjoy my college years because the girls here are so cold.

My question is, how does a guy like me who is a 21 yr old virgin that has regressed when it has come to women take the pussy off the pedestal and live life? I can't get myself to give up when I chase these college aged white girls and I have this chip on my shoulder to where I feel even when I turn 30 I will do everything I can to fuck as many college aged white girls as possible but right now it is not working. How do I mentally make myself happy as a 21 yr old virgin who isn't having much success?

 

[Joy]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Hey man. thanks for the post.

First of all, there's no accounting for taste so if you like white girls, go for it man. As long as you're not a dick to other girls of other races just because they're not your type it's not that big a deal.

Now there's very little for me to go on here considering that you wrote a lot but there's little relevant information. All people can tell from reading your post are your tastes in women, your lack of success with them, and the frustration you feel. There is no one-size fits all answer but the best I can give you is to stop taking the rejections so damn personally. You're making these all about your esoteric self. You admitted yourself that you took the wrong steps and got unfavorable reactions - don't make a "hopeless virgin forever alone" identity. That sort of mentality radiates from you and pushes girls you like away. Girls DO like you - you admitted it yourself - and trust me, race has nothing to do with it; on a psychological level it is absolutely irrelevant. Why do they like you? Well maybe it's because you don't act your "hopeless virgin" role around girls you don't like and thus they see your real personality which is apparently attractive.

Why don't the girls you actually like feel the same? It's probably because you creep them out by chasing them after choosing not to romance them within a proper time frame (yes you made that choice). Now that helped you cultivate negative emotions which women, as generally empathetic creatures, feel radiating off you and thus new interactions with girls you like are increasingly difficult for them and for you.

So what do you? Well I suggest increasing your social circle and surround yourself and make friends with people that you think are cool and expand your social circle as a priority.
These will help:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-m ... le-friends
There's another article from chase a bout making friends and building social circles.

As for your virginity concerns... just check out this podcast.
http://theartofcharmpodcast.com/2010/10 ... teach-sex/

Good luck and let's hope you won't need it!
Cheers mate!

 

[PinotNoir]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

About race, I don't think it matters. People give me beef for liking other races over white girls, but to me, it's like liking Vanilla over Chocolate. When you think about it that way, isn't it silly for people to get upset that you like Vanilla over Chocolate ice cream? It's just preference and what you like. And if you ever want to, you can try chocolate and rocky road and strawberry shortcake. It's just what you like. It's not racist. (Racism is saying "all X people are stupid" or whatever; being attracted to a certain race over another is not racism).

I think people gave you good answers in your other post:

https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=5584

I'll re-quote what I said there:

As far as virginity, get it completely out of your mind; it doesn't matter. Virginity is a human construct. Compare a guy that's a virgin with a guy that's not a virgin; their penises/balls are exactly the same. (Women have a hymen, but this can be broken by just riding a horse.) There is no biological difference between a virgin and a non-virgin; it's a made up thing by society. Don't even worry about it.

Don't worry about failure or getting rejected. It happens to every guy. Search for "numbers game" article or any other rejection articles. The fact that you're affected by it tells me that you have not approached enough. Maybe consider the Newbie Assignment (in "new? start here" section of "beginners" section).

Start telling yourself every morning/day/night, "there are tons of beautiful women that love me and want to be with me." There are plenty of women in this world, and there are plenty that want to fuck you.

Don't worry about anything like virginity or age or whatever. It's just a distraction.

Just focus on improving yourself and asking out women and dating women. You're too much in your head, like I (and others) get. Just get out and get dirty.

 

[PinotNoir]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Just some random thoughts I was having last night....

It's not the exact same, but it makes me think of homosexuality. Some guys only have a preference (or a large preference) for men over women. This isn't a bad thing, just their tastes.

But, imagine if you were homosexual, how would you go about it? You're only attracted to men, but haven't been with a man. You'd start going to gay clubs, hitting up guys online, flirting with potential guys during the day, etc. But, there's not as large stigma about being a (gay) virgin here, which is interesting to me. There is some, of course, but far less than in the heterosexual world. Don't let other people decide how you feel about yourself. Don't let others control you and your feelings/emotions.

The answer is always simple. Want white girls? "Think about the solution, not the problem." (Terry Goodkind). What can you do to get white girls? That's the only thing you need to think about and do here. Approach 20 white girls this month, and that's better than not approaching any. Then you'll finally be taking action to change your life for the better, and living by your own rules and not others'.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Race does matter, believe me, as an arabian guy living in one of the most socially conservative areas of the USA I have seen it matter. I have made friends with cool white guys only to get to parties and see that these girls are so nice and kind to them but treat me like total shit. Women care a lot about what kind of guys they are seen with and being seen with a guy whose race is known for having a bad reputation hurts their reputation.

If you are a white guy, you have equal footing with white girls and can get girls of minority background easily. I see hot asian girls and latinas with white boyfriends all the time.

If you are a minority, especially arabian or mexican, you are only on somewhat of equal footing with women your own race but white women absolutely look down on you. Despite that large mexican population in states like California, it is somewhat uncommon to see good looking white girls with dark hair and tanned skinned latino boyfriends.

I have managed to have some degree of success with white girls who were from working class backgrounds or from other countries like eastern european countries but the kind of white girls that make up the majority at my college (suburban and from well off families) are total cunts. It has caused me frustration to the point that I am radiating some of this negative energy off of myself.

You know, all this time I am improving myself by going to the gym and trying to forget about it but this kind of shit happens so much:

- going to parties and having these sluts ignore me completely while being nice to my friends
- having these sluts give me that disgusted look when I do try to talk them
- having these sluts be nice to my close friends who are white while being rude to me

I feel like shit, really I do. I don't know what I can do right now but it is like I am constantly regressing even though I don't want to. No matter what I do, these cunts have no fucking class and are so rude to me. Then when I settle for girls that I do not desire (girls that aren't white though asian girls are massive cunts too once they become americanized), it hurts my ego massively and I feel that emptiness inside of me. It is like a battle that cannot be won.

My mindset towards women has got so bad that I read some material on sites like Roissy or ROK which talks about women hitting the wall and losing their looks and a part of my rejoices and says "haha take that you evil bitch", though I don't even know the woman.

 

[RAFox]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Well, judging from the title, it seems you know how to do it physically, so that's progress.

I would have continued this post with some empathy and motivation, repeating what has been said a hundred times now, that NO, race and nationality do not matter in a powerful, attractive man. But that'd be a waste of precious time and energy. Instead, I'll try a slightly bashful approach for a change. Hope this gets you thinking.

Have you ever read any of Chase's articles, and if so, applied them to your life, to your interactions with your peers? Improved Fundamentals? Improved Fashion? Do you approach and flirt with girls regularly?

I doubt it, because if you had, you wouldn't post these self-pitying threads all the time. You would already be confident in your masculinity and newfound sexual value.

Because if you aren't tearing tose walls down, one by one, then it's not the super-racists who turn everyone down without a pure white background. It's your fault for trying to justify your cowardice by blaming the world for it. Can you say victim mentality? I think you can.

Oh and by the way, homosexuality being a matter of taste? Do you know anything about sexual orientation?

 

[Raqimus]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

From the way your talking about them seems like your projecting those qualities on them. Like you think they will treat you negatively so you look for negative proof and act in a way that brings it to reality. Check your body language are you closed, are you being friendly or are you speaking to them with a disgusted tone and facial expressions because that's what it sounds like. Just go in thinking she's a nice girl and if she doesn't reciprocate that's okay. Stop calling them slurs in such a negative way I understand they wanna have fun and they may be sluts but don't judge them and think so negatively about them.look for positive prices not the negative. You could also even reframe their rudenedss , play with their words and be playful you just sound so serious and the vibe your giving off isn't a good one it's like "go ahead prove to me you don't like me"

 

[fsc]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

- going to parties and having these sluts ignore me completely while being nice to my friends
- having these sluts give me that disgusted look when I do try to talk them
- having these sluts be nice to my close friends who are white while being rude to me
these cunts have no fucking class and are so rude to me

Woah there buddy. You're using the words "slut" and "cunt" in a really offensive and negative way. Chill.

This is just my personal opinion, but I think you should actually stop approaching women for a bit. I'm honestly afraid that approaching with your current mindset will continue bringing on rejections, which will further deteriorate your mindset, which may cause you to burst out in some form of violence and hatred. Stop approaching girls. Focus on improving your mentality and being friendly. Talk to EVERYONE around you when you get a good conversational opportunity. For example, if you see someone with a luggage bag, ask if they're departing or arriving, and deep dive about the travel and whatnot. Learn to become a lover of all women.

"haha take that you evil bitch"

This is alarming

 

[fsc]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Check this out if you haven't yet -> article link

Success will eventually come once you set your mind straight and start spitting some good game.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Except I am not an asian male, I am brown. Most asian guys can get away with being more bad boy like but I feel that white women these days have taken up to exclusively hating anyone that is non-latino brown. Just look around, how often do you see attractive white women with guys like that? I mean I see it with older couples because back in the day the racism was more towards blacks and not arabic men, you could be exotic but now things have gotten so bad because of the media.

It's my mind too, I am hellbent on getting a white girl and nothing else.

 

[fsc]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

What if I told you that one of my best friends is Arab, and he does really well with girls, including blondes?

He's 5'7", slim, and looks like Danny Garcia, the boxer. The only negative mindset he has is against tall girls, although once he did really well with a 6'3", dirty blonde, Abercombie & Fitch model at one of my parties.

But I'm sure you'll come up with another excuse...

Sami Khedira is a good-looking mofo btw.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

I would need to see some legit evidence.

If I EVER saw a stereotypical brown skinned arab, I mean ethnically not culture wise, doing well with hot white girls in real life then I would immediately get off my ass and realize that I have no excuse to be a virgin. That if he can do it, then so can I unless he has amazing status. Sami Kheidera is a world star soccer player and he plays for the Germans, maybe things work differently there than they do in the USA. Here I see so many hot blondes but who do they go with? Either a white guy or maybe in some cases a black guy out of a fetish but never ever is it a brown skinned arabian guy. My excuse would never be about race, that's for sure.

At this point, even if I saw a brown skinned latino such as Adam Rodriguez do well with white women that were hot I would consider just lying to women and telling them I am a latino and getting back on there but where are these guys?

 

[Parkour]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

The short answer is, you need to get laid. Honestly, I think you should get over your standards and expectations. Quit porn and fapping and you'll quickly find you can get hard with women you wouldn't start a relationship with. That way you can just try hooking up for the experience and learning without as much judgement or investment. You aren't going to be amazing in the beginning anyway so just consider it a step. You're not trying to get married or in a LTR with the first few girls you hook up with so why be so stingy. Let a few chicks have a piece and you'll be much more experienced and find it's easier to relate to the girls you're stuck on

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

The short answer is, you need to get laid. Honestly, I think you should get over your standards and expectations. Quit porn and fapping and you'll quickly find you can get hard with women you wouldn't start a relationship with. That way you can just try hooking up for the experience and learning without as much judgement or investment. You aren't going to be amazing in the beginning anyway so just consider it a step. You're not trying to get married or in a LTR with the first few girls you hook up with so why be so stingy. Let a few chicks have a piece and you'll be much more experienced and find it's easier to relate to the girls you're stuck on

right now my standards are as long as she isn't black or asian, I'll do it. but anyways on friday afternoon I had a very unpleasant experience and I just snapped, more on that later on my thread.

 

[Chase]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Altair-

You're coming at this from completely the wrong angle.

(snipped long part about background)

My question is, how does a guy like me who is a 21 yr old virgin that has regressed when it has come to women take the pussy off the pedestal and live life?

(snipped)

How do I mentally make myself happy as a 21 yr old virgin who isn't having much success?

Know why I don't bother teaching new guys "inner game"? This is why.

Go try and figure out how you can "will" yourself into not be intimidated 6'4" super muscular guys with military training. Spend as long as you like trying.

Meanwhile, let's send an equally intimidated-by-muscular-meatheads-with-combat-skills guy to go out there, bulk up, get trained up in a practical martial art like Krav Maga or Wing Chun, go to sparring classes, and mix it up in a couple of real world fights.

A year and a half in, which one of those guys is almost totally cured of the majority of the intimidation he has around big, muscular, trained fighters (aside from a healthy awareness of the actual danger of mixing it up with such a guy), and which guy still turns into a cowering little puppy every time he finds himself in a confrontation with one of these guys?

Inner game is worthless if you aren't fixing the external stuff. It's not remotely useful until long after you've begun taking significant action.

You can make 1,000 posts on here about how you want to change your mindset, and get 10,000 responses from guys, and you'll still be writing the same damn thing 2 years from now unless you stop asking how to change your mindset and just grab your nuts and go start approaching until you get results.

Will you get rejected? Yes.

Will it suck? Oh yes.

Will you get better? So long as you keep testing out new and different things, analyzing and refining your interactions, and learning from people who are good, yes you will.

Otherwise, might be better to save up a bunch of pennies and go visit the local wishing well, because that's about as useful as trying to fix your mindset with little or zero experience, and it's a lot less work than obsessing over it or writing a bunch of forum posts about it.

If you'd like to actually start getting results, start here:

Newbie Assignment

Chase

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Legit. I had a meltdown to where I ended up shouting at a girl (she was a blonde too), was going to post it on there but I realized it would be a waste of time. You know, so far my posts have been about getting help and mental masturbation, pointless shit so I decided to go about this a different way. I am going to put myself in the game and go out as much as I can, write my experiences on here, but tell others to come help me in my journey to avoid escaping college as a virgin.

No more "you're gonna be okay bro", now its all about "here is what you did wrong and here is what you can do about it".

 

[daviddreamer]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Legit. I had a meltdown to where I ended up shouting at a girl (she was a blonde too), was going to post it on there but I realized it would be a waste of time. You know, so far my posts have been about getting help and mental masturbation, pointless shit so I decided to go about this a different way. I am going to put myself in the game and go out as much as I can, write my experiences on here, but tell others to come help me in my journey to avoid escaping college as a virgin.

No more "you're gonna be okay bro", now its all about "here is what you did wrong and here is what you can do about it".

Keep us updated.

 

[fsc]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

Legit. I had a meltdown to where I ended up shouting at a girl (she was a blonde too), was going to post it on there but I realized it would be a waste of time. You know, so far my posts have been about getting help and mental masturbation, pointless shit so I decided to go about this a different way. I am going to put myself in the game and go out as much as I can, write my experiences on here, but tell others to come help me in my journey to avoid escaping college as a virgin.

No more "you're gonna be okay bro", now its all about "here is what you did wrong and here is what you can do about it".

Keep us updated.

He has had a journal-like thingy going on here for some time

 

[lao che]

Re: How does a kissless 21 yr old virgin mentally take the pussy off the pedesta

'm gonna throw in 2 cents,



try to fuck girls that you aren't attracted to. fuck a couple of (in your mind) 6s. if you're not all gooey-eyed "ohmygosh she's so pretty/hot/beautful/sexy. i hope i don't fuck this up. i hope she likes me!" you might find the process a lot easier.