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How many girls are you seeing?? She keeps asking what’s the best answer

miker

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 27, 2022
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63
So I hooked up with this cool girl last night met her last week at a bar they bought us shots and we moved them to another bar …then got her out last night …but she keeps saying she thinks I’m seeing other girls and like msged me that today after a night of some good old fashioned debauchery “how many girls am I seeing…”clearly made myself mysterious enough for her to think I’m some Casanova..loving the attention from her but the problem is she thinks I’m a player now but is still giving up the goods but resisted like crazy… probably because she thinks I’m valued by a lot of other women…so the question is I don’t want to give her too much info and I’m wondering if there’s a good answer to this that gets her even more excited cuz it’s like if I say none she doesn’t believe me and I literally told her that like 10 times and still thinks I’m a player and since she msged me again that question this morning I am sure that question will be asked tomoro on our date ..
Shitt posted this twice anyone know how to delete threads after they’re posted
 

StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
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Feb 23, 2022
Messages
845
Well either she thinks you're a player, wants you as a fuck buddy, and is shit testing you to make sure you have a solid fuck buddy frame and aren't going to fold under preassure. Or she wants something more from you and is shit testing you to make sure you are not the type of man isn't just going to pump and dump. Also sometimes women want a fuck buddy but still want to feel like they are actually being seen as a person. I would casually gather more info to run a diagnostic then proceed from there. But first you have to get straight with what you are looking for from her so you can hold a strong frame as you negotiate a win win for the two of you. I personally would start by saying something like "sounds like the thought of me seeing other women is a concern of yours" or a bit more cocky answere " does that make you nervous, me seeing other women?" and see how she responds. That second line can come off as a bit players though so if that is already her concern proceed with caution. Use your intuition on that one. If you suspect she is just looking for some good dick it could be precisely the way to go. But if you suspect she is being for real, the former could be better. She might be evasive and you might have to use more some more sly lines to get a bit more info. But pretty soon in you will start to get a sense of the tone. Once you have a stronger sense of her motivations you can start to lay down frames that include her concerns in the proccess and navigate to a win win. So ultimately the response depends on what you want and where that meets what she wants. You don't want to ask her straight up what she wants though because that can lead to clashing frames where there would maybe have been more room for flexibility. Plus she might not even know yet what she wants and is just feeling you out. It is a bit of a tightrope walk between being coy and genuinely concerned. Find that balance though and you should be good
 
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miker

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 27, 2022
Messages
63
Ya man much appreciated I think it is the pump and dump ..so that’s what I’m trying to balance….I’m usually pretty vague and coy with her but she folded while we were almost fucking last night and straight up said she doesn’t want to be used or just slept with once and that’s it and give it up easy so In other words seems like she is more for real she resisted for two hours and she was ready so prob not just a fuck buddy…and this week as I built rapport she said things like I make her nervous that I’m “smooth too smooth” and that I probly have like a bunch of girls I go out with..so she was already digging at that anyway…
How do I navigate to a win win where she may have feelings and I’m not really there yet any advice on frames or articles on you could suggest on this subject of laying frames or creating strong frames im not familiar with frames maybe that’s what I need to know how to manage what I want to say without giving away the mystery and deflate the seduction

i think you said it the best and this is what il say as she gets into it again I’m just trying to get to know her and feel her out and just going with the flow and hopefully shell back off abit on this subject and won’t push more for me admitting I like her because I think that’s what she’s ultimately trying to get me to admit.
 
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Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 16, 2015
Messages
1,032
I'm driving while answering so I only looked at the title


Usually for this question you deflect with sarcasm until a bare minimum of two months

All of them
Don't worry babe, you're in my top 39
Etc

After a few months you can more serious while also giving her the relationship talk if needed
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,076
So I hooked up with this cool girl last night met her last week at a bar they bought us shots and we moved them to another bar …then got her out last night …but she keeps saying she thinks I’m seeing other girls and like msged me that today after a night of some good old fashioned debauchery “how many girls am I seeing…”clearly made myself mysterious enough for her to think I’m some Casanova..loving the attention from her but the problem is she thinks I’m a player now but is still giving up the goods but resisted like crazy… probably because she thinks I’m valued by a lot of other women…so the question is I don’t want to give her too much info and I’m wondering if there’s a good answer to this that gets her even more excited cuz it’s like if I say none she doesn’t believe me and I literally told her that like 10 times and still thinks I’m a player and since she msged me again that question this morning I am sure that question will be asked tomoro on our date ..
Shitt posted this twice anyone know how to delete threads after they’re posted
What I do is I start thinking like analyzing how many then I start counting like doing a math problem wit my fingers, then I say 4 nah nah actually 5 you want to be number 6? Nah just kidding I am actually date and like to get to know people instead of jumping and settling in a relationship right away, it takes 6 months to get to know someone or longer.. if I get to know someone and she turns out to meet all my checkmark I am not opposed to being exclusive..... this pretty much covers all possible objections.... after 3 fucks doesn't matter
 

miker

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 27, 2022
Messages
63
Great I like that that’s more my style and gives me time to figure out what’s going on
 

miker

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 27, 2022
Messages
63
I'm driving while answering so I only looked at the title


Usually for this question you deflect with sarcasm until a bare minimum of two months

All of them
Don't worry babe, you're in my top 39
Etc

After a few months you can more serious while also giving her the relationship talk if needed
Lmfao love it
 

StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 23, 2022
Messages
845
"How many girls are you seeing?"

"Enough to know I like when you and I hang out, dear. I'd start seeing less but I don't want to ruin what we have"
 

StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 23, 2022
Messages
845
One for every day we're going to be together after we get married. Can you blame me? We're gonna be together a long time
 
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