How much do women want to be approached?

[Dragonetti]

Classic seduction wisdom is that women want to be approached more. There's some data to support this I think.

How far does this go, though? When, where, by whom, how?

 

[TomInHo]

What’s the point of all these hypothetical questions lately?

Are you actually approaching or just thinking about it?

Think about it… If women like sex and also have dreams of one day having a family with an attractive man

But they are also fearful of approaching men and risking rejection. Why would they not want to be approached?

 

[ChrisXKiss]

It's pretty simple I would say. They want to be approached anywhere and at any time as long as it is by the right guy and in the right way.

How to become that guy and run your interactions in that way is basically everything the site and the forum is about.

 

[isildur1]

there wouldn't be any seduction forums if women didn't respond positively to daygame - a lot of them like it , it shows a sense of confidence, leadership, living in the moment etc. all are attractive traits in a man and you're able to convey them without relying on alcohol or hiding behind a dating app.

confidence is attractive - approaching is a fantastic way to show that.

 

[Dragonetti]

What’s the point of all these hypothetical questions lately?

Are you actually approaching or just thinking about it?

Think about it… If women like sex and also have dreams of one day having a family with an attractive man

But they are also fearful of approaching men and risking rejection. Why would they not want to be approached?

My motivation for asking questions is that I find this questions interesting and I like analyzing things.

 

[Chase]

How much do women want to be approached?

19!

Seriously... how do you quantify wanting?

Somewhere between how much someone walking around outside wants to find a $5 bill on the ground vs. how much a 6-year-old kid wants a bunch of Christmas presents under the tree on Christmas morning, I guess. Depends on the chick.

A girl wanting to be approached is like you wanting a [some food you like]. Sometimes you want it, sometimes you don't.

Let's say you like apples. If someone approached you and handed you an apple, and you had just been staring at this person and all the apples in his cart, you might say, "Oh man, thank you! I was just wanting to eat an apple!" while at other times you might say, "Very kind of you, but my hands are full and I'm not hungry."

Then you get into stuff like how cool is the guy doing the approaching, how smooth is the approach, etc. Some scary-looking guy jumping out of an alleyway and shoving an apple in your face is probably not going to be very welcome, even if you were kind of hungry. Some guy chucking apples at you from across the street is also not welcome. Thus why most women don't like men startling them to approach or cat-calling them from far away...

A weird guy wanting to give you an apple will just freak you out, EVEN IF you are hungry.

A super cool, high status guy wanting to give you an apple will make you feel good even if you're not hungry right now or you already have an apple tree at home (e.g., women in relationships).

Etc., etc.

Chase

 

[bgwh]

There is a simple way to answer this question, one that any guy can apply. It's also an amazing way to kill AA.

Just go and approach a bunch of girls asking for directions and OBSERVE how many want to prolong the conversation. Some will be so obvious that it almost gets uncomfortable, like SHE will act like it was an approach and you guys are now flirting. Some will be less obvious, but you'll notice she's like hoping it turns into something more than just giving you directions. Just notice how often it happens.

 

[bgwh]

It's pretty simple I would say. They want to be approached anywhere and at any time as long as it is by the right guy and in the right way.

How to become that guy and run your interactions in that way is basically everything the site and the forum is about.

I think they enjoy being opened even when it's the wrong guy, in the wrong way and the wrong time. The reason I say this is that the mindset of "it has to be done right or she will not like it" kept me stuck for years. Like what is the right time to say something? What if my way of doing it isn't the right way? What if I'm not her type and she'll get offended.

It only becomes unenjoyable if you stick in and keep going despite lack of interest. That's why the false-time-constraint was such a nice crutch. One could use it as a way to learn proper beliefs as well. Approach a bunch of chicks with a time-constraint and a plausible excuse, and notice how well it goes. After this, you start to realize that it's never the mere act of approaching they don't like, but any additional things (like sticking too long despite signs she's in a hurry) etc. But the open itself? Never an issue.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think they enjoy being opened even when it's the wrong guy, in the wrong way and the wrong time. The reason I say this is that the mindset of "it has to be done right or she will not like it" kept me stuck for years. Like what is the right time to say something? What if my way of doing it isn't the right way? What if I'm not her type and she'll get offended.

It only becomes unenjoyable if you stick in and keep going despite lack of interest. That's why the false-time-constraint was such a nice crutch. One could use it as a way to learn proper beliefs as well. Approach a bunch of chicks with a time-constraint and a plausible excuse, and notice how well it goes. After this, you start to realize that it's never the mere act of approaching they don't like, but any additional things (like sticking too long despite signs she's in a hurry) etc. But the open itself? Never an issue.

We are saying the same thing in fact. That’s exactly what I mean “in the right way”; calibrating to their responses to your approach whether verbal or non-verbal.

My point is to focus not on whether they like your approach or not, but on the fact that no matter who this girl is or what she is doing, there is always a way to have her like your approach.

In that way the approach anxiety that comes from worrying about offending a woman is transformed to approach excitement that comes from desiring to bring her the best possible experience.

 

[bgwh]

We are saying the same thing in fact. That’s exactly what I mean “in the right way”; calibrating to their responses to your approach whether verbal or non-verbal.

My point is to focus not on whether they like your approach or not, but on the fact that no matter who this girl is or what she is doing, there is always a way to have her like your approach.

In that way the approach anxiety that comes from worrying about offending a woman is transformed to approach excitement that comes from desiring to bring her the best possible experience.

I think that's why it's a good idea to differentiate further, and have gauging response be part of the steps. I wonder why more newbies aren't taught this. My guess is that by the time people give advice they're past the newbie phase, so they forget what it was like.

Break Down Your Daygame Opener Into 3 Phases

I’ve been mentoring a lot of beginner beginners lately, and a common thread I see is that they deliver the opener in one block. It usually sounds like: “Hi this is random but I thought …

pancakemouse.wordpress.com

I like how this guy breaks it down, with "pause to assess response" as one of the steps.

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I think that's why it's a good idea to differentiate further, and have gauging response be part of the steps. I wonder why more newbies aren't taught this. My guess is that by the time people give advice they're past the newbie phase, so they forget what it was like.

Break Down Your Daygame Opener Into 3 Phases

I’ve been mentoring a lot of beginner beginners lately, and a common thread I see is that they deliver the opener in one block. It usually sounds like: “Hi this is random but I thought …

pancakemouse.wordpress.com

I like how this guy breaks it down, with "pause to assess response" as one of the steps.

Yeah calibration is everything. I guess the only issue with new guys is that due to anxiety and inexperience they may not even be in a state to pay much attention and identify the signals, so their default will be to stay passive and eject prematurely.

I feel that exactly like there is stage when you just approach to break AA, there is another one when you just state your intent and see what comes out of it. That way you can have emerging patterns that help you calibrate better in the long run.

 

[bgwh]

Yeah calibration is everything. I guess the only issue with new guys is that due to anxiety and inexperience they may not even be in a state to pay much attention and identify the signals, so their default will be to stay passive and eject prematurely.

I feel that exactly like there is stage when you just approach to break AA, there is another one when you just state your intent and see what comes out of it. That way you can have emerging patterns that help you calibrate better in the long run.

That's why you would baby step it. The reason guys can't pay attention is because they're trying too much.

It can be:
- Ask for directions
- Observe response
- Thank her, eject

It also forces you to do many other things right, like eye contact and being present.

I feel this actually would speed up getting rid of AA since you'll even get better responses because not paying attention is one thing that prevents those great responses.

For some reason the current dogma is brute force your way into calibration. But why? Why not start with calibration from day one? As per example above.

 

[Atlas IV]

19!

Seriously... how do you quantify wanting?

Somewhere between how much someone walking around outside wants to find a $5 bill on the ground vs. how much a 6-year-old kid wants a bunch of Christmas presents under the tree on Christmas morning, I guess. Depends on the chick.

A girl wanting to be approached is like you wanting a [some food you like]. Sometimes you want it, sometimes you don't.

Let's say you like apples. If someone approached you and handed you an apple, and you had just been staring at this person and all the apples in his cart, you might say, "Oh man, thank you! I was just wanting to eat an apple!" while at other times you might say, "Very kind of you, but my hands are full and I'm not hungry."

Then you get into stuff like how cool is the guy doing the approaching, how smooth is the approach, etc. Some scary-looking guy jumping out of an alleyway and shoving an apple in your face is probably not going to be very welcome, even if you were kind of hungry. Some guy chucking apples at you from across the street is also not welcome. Thus why most women don't like men startling them to approach or cat-calling them from far away...

A weird guy wanting to give you an apple will just freak you out, EVEN IF you are hungry.

A super cool, high status guy wanting to give you an apple will make you feel good even if you're not hungry right now or you already have an apple tree at home (e.g., women in relationships).

Etc., etc.

Chase

I love this response! The apple analogy is going to stick with me.

Now to go hand out some apples