So how you'd play it out then as being an introvert who enjoy listening? Make her talk, deep dive, flirt and then kino/escalate?
That's how i do most of the time, minus deep dive.
If this works for you, then don't change anything.
Controversial statement here - but a lot of PUA is teaching introverts/shy guys/awkward guys to become ENERGIZED when talking to people instead of drained - i.e. PUA teaches guys to become extroverted. Going out and talking to people should give guys a charge, an adrenaline rush, it is to become addictive.
That said, the pick up timeline is
- Open with value/attraction/interest
- Mid with logistics and trust
- Close with passion.
For introverts that want to incorporate deep dives - this is how I do it.
Open with chick crack - so she does most of the talking. Any 3rd party topic that's not about the girl, but would probably start an
emotional conversation. Ex - In April 2022, last week at the Oscars, Will Smith protected his woman. She's bound to have a strong opinion.
With the chick crack going -
Run your other gambits - logistics check, qualification, red flag/green flag check, compliance/cooperation loop.
She should have bought in, in terms of the interaction, not necessarily you. In my mind, your mostly providing something that is novel, that is
psychologically interesting. Like a human Wordle or Sudoku. Something that makes them want to figure it out. To me, curiosity and genuine interest, or her being stimulated this way is basically the seed of attraction.
Rather than just being a pretty face, tall, or have a good body - something a chick can explain to herself internally - I'm trying to give that "There's something different about you" vibe.
- The "I'm trying now to figure you out" vibe.
- "I can't put my finger on it" vibe.
- "I don't know what it is about you".
Because people like to categorize, women are people, and women especially like to box men in various groups. Some groupings are very polarizing, and can polarize good or bad. But not being able to do it, or having to rethink it, is useful. When a girl is not sure about where you are in the pecking order, or whether you are as confident/dominant as you claim to be...that can work to your advantage.
I digress.
Verbally, there are a lot of ways to do this.
Nonverbally, when you dance with a girl and switch from regular time to half time, still keeping the rhythm, but purposefully slowing things down - that's always psychologically interesting. What is this guy going to do next?
To initiate the deep dive, notice that she had some type of emotional reaction to 3rd party topic, and turn that from a 3rd party topic to a 1st person plural topic and finally a 1st person singular topic.
From this thing that happened to other people, to a me and her, and then to just her and her emotions.
How you play that, is up to you.
Verbally
- Me and Her - "You would say that" or "That's why me and you would never work out. Playful romantic banter i.e flirting.
- Just Her - "Not trying to get in your business, but I noticed a shift when you said...."
Nonverbally - which is what I tend to do
As she says whatever, slow down my body, make eye contact, make a facial expression.
That usually triggers a chick to second guess herself or ask me "What"
Then give your insight/cold read and start the deep dive.
In my experience, the more she's invested into who you are and what you think about HER, the more powerful the deep dive is.
For the introvert, his best deep dive tools are good topics, good listening skills, and good follow up questions, and letting her talk - giving the proper nonverbal cues to encourage her.
The extrovert, if he were going to do this, might lead with his own example, get really into his own feelings, and sort of expect the chick to vibe/mirror him. He might do more of the talking than the introvert, and it might be more about him than her. But that's what extroverts tend to do, that's why they're the "life" of the party - people LIVE through him.
Ex - Life story about him, and then follows with "I see SOME of that in you"
The upside with deep dives is that guys tend to get that "soulmate" impulse.
The downside is guys tend to get that "soulmate" impulse.
Take all of this advice with heavy skepticism and disbelief.
But do try it out. This is what has worked/blew up in my face for years.
WIA