How should I indicate my personality standards during an approach?

[Merchant's-Kin]

Hi, at my current stage of approaching I think I'm comfortable enough to start learning some push-pull and start learning to maintain abundance mentality in my cold approach interactions.

From DayGame by Todd, the advice was to write down 5 non-physical traits that u look for in a girl:
These are mine:
a. Great depth
b. Likes to have extreme fun
c. Willing to get her hands dirty
d. Open-mindedness
e. Rebelliousness

I mentioned abundance mentality and push-pull above because I believe these are highly connected to having standards: The idea that if this is not a girl I like, I'm going to find the next girl

But I'm not sure how to express having standards during the cold approach. I'm actually thinking of this as a way to fill in awkward silences/get to know the girl better. And standards are something I do genuinely care about.

Some examples I can think of are like:
1. (Depth) "The shorts u r wearing are really really short, I generally think that girls who dress like that are quite shallow... Do you think u r a shallow person?"
2. (Willing to get her hands dirty) "Your clothes have quite a peaceful and graceful vibe, most of the time that means u r a princess, I don't like princesses, are u a princess?"
3. (Rebelliousness) "U honestly sou"


The main problem I can think of with the above examples is that there's a lot of push and no pull
But I'm a beginner who displays a lot of vulnerability and neediness through body language though so I suppose whenever I'm not pushing I'm pulling.
I'm thinking of forcing myself to do say something like this because it forces me to adopt the frame that I am evaluating her.

Essentially the main idea is that it's a compliment that I'm approaching her but I'm not gonna go any further if I don't know enough about her to know that she meets my standards.
This is the method I'm thinking of using to get a girl to tell me more about herself and qualify herself



Should I even try to indicate personality standards during the approach?
Or is there a better way to carry on the interaction?



Would appreciate ideas from anyone
Y

 

[Fuck This]

Your 3 examples sound like someone with Asperger's and they are downright rude. Any woman I'd be interested in would deck you for saying that crap.

When you MEET someone you don't have standards. you accept them as they are and it is up to you to determine if their behavior makes you want to be around them more....

 

[ulrich]

You got the idea but you’re relying too heavily on verbal communication and it feels weird.

Keep the idea but make the conversation flow naturally and use your nonverbals.

You: “Now those shorts are really really short!!” (startled/funny voice and face expression)
She: “Yes, they are.”
You: “Are you some kind of party girl?” (sexy and inquisitive voice tone)

If she says yes, you say “oh, such a bummer, I usually go for the intellectual... are you into books” (look sad because she didn’t meet your criteria)

if she says no, you say “that’s great... I actually like the intellectual better” (you wink at her In a way that looks fun and sincere)

This sounds like a more natural conversation.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Your 3 examples sound like someone with Asperger's and they are downright rude. Any woman I'd be interested in would deck you for saying that crap.

When you MEET someone you don't have standards. you accept them as they are and it is up to you to determine if their behavior makes you want to be around them more....

Alright. Thanks for the advice @Fuck This . I'll make it seem less rude then perhaps. haha.
So is it just through non-verbal language that having personality standards helps us build attraction?
Let's say she's boring so I genuinely look bored (the non-verbal body language)

Keep the idea but make the conversation flow naturally and use your nonverbals.

This sounds like a more natural conversation.

Alright thanks for the advice @uriel
I'll probably just end up having it be not so natural at the start. But I really want to force myself to do a bit of this. Because I have high neediness.

 

[Toby2030]

First of all, never shame sexuality. It's very important to set a frame that tell that you are non-judgemental. If you shame her for wearing revealing shorts, you'll be put in a wrong category..
Having a list with traits you want her to have is a good thing. However, stay away from anything relationship related. Qualify her on traits that benefit a one night stand. Set a frame from the start that you are the prize. Every single time you reward her, you should frame it as her winning you over. If she's telling you something you don't agree with, you disqualify playfully.
If you have a hard time not getting put in the lover box, then try to qualify her on SNL traits instead.

If you want to get better at push-pull, then try this exercise: Look at the girl and say the first positive or negative thing that comes to mind, and follow it up with the opposite of what you said first. Positive -> negative, negative -> positive.

 

[Merchant's-Kin]

Hi @DML,

Thanks for the advice! That's a lot for me to learn. I haven't even started thinking about sexual intent yet.

First of all, never shame sexuality. It's very important to set a frame that tell that you are non-judgemental. If you shame her for wearing revealing shorts, you'll be put in a wrong category..

Noted on this.

Will definitely try the push-pull exercise.

Qualify her on traits that benefit a one night stand. Set a frame from the start that you are the prize. Every single time you reward her, you should frame it as her winning you over. If she's telling you something you don't agree with, you disqualify playfully.

I'll keep this in mind as I go forward it's too advanced for me now I feel. I'm still working on trying to pre-open as much as possible and say the stuff that I feel like saying rather than trying to impress her and try-harding the conversation.