How to align "not being cheap" with "not paying for dates"?

[pikachu]

I read these two articles.

Poor Men vs. Cheap Men: Women View Them VERY Differently

Being poor can give you certain advantages in the dating game. But if she thinks you’re CHEAP, it’s game over! Here’s how to avoid that “cheap” stink of death. Contents I. Being Poor vs. Being Cheap II. Nothing Wrong with Being Poor III. A “Poor” Frame Requires Different Game IV. Women Are...

www.girlschase.com

Should You Pay for a Date?

Should men pay for dates? Answer: not if they want to get the girl, erm, into bed. But they can if they’d rather be the perfect platonic gentleman! It used to be the way things always were in love: if a man and a woman went on a date, the man paid. No two ways about it. It's now not quite as...

www.girlschase.com

I don't want to pay for date, but I also don't want to come across as cheap.

I've had girls get mad at me before for not paying.

I think I have a lot of provider signals - good job, expensive clothing. And that's what causes an incongruence. How can I maintain my image and not pay for dates?

 

[Velasco]

Sleep with rich "feminist" girls.

 

[pikachu]

Haha, i've dated a lot of career women who offer to split or even pay for me. it's great.

It's the ones "from other cultures" who get mad. Maybe I should just take the L with them.

 

[Starboy]

I read these two articles.

Poor Men vs. Cheap Men: Women View Them VERY Differently

Being poor can give you certain advantages in the dating game. But if she thinks you’re CHEAP, it’s game over! Here’s how to avoid that “cheap” stink of death. Contents I. Being Poor vs. Being Cheap II. Nothing Wrong with Being Poor III. A “Poor” Frame Requires Different Game IV. Women Are...

www.girlschase.com

Should You Pay for a Date?

Should men pay for dates? Answer: not if they want to get the girl, erm, into bed. But they can if they’d rather be the perfect platonic gentleman! It used to be the way things always were in love: if a man and a woman went on a date, the man paid. No two ways about it. It's now not quite as...

www.girlschase.com

I don't want to pay for date, but I also don't want to come across as cheap.

I've had girls get mad at me before for not paying.

I think I have a lot of provider signals - good job, expensive clothing. And that's what causes an incongruence. How can I maintain my image and not pay for dates?

If they get mad cuz you didnt pay for them then they're probably low value lol. Don't stress it. The girls I went on dates on weren't bombshells,but they offered to split and had no problem with paying for their own shit. If you show them a really good time on the date and cap it off with sex they will not care that they had to pay for their own food or drink. If they had a neutral or mediocre dating experience then that's probably why they would get upset for having to pay. Unless they're gold diggers then women will get upset no matter what you since these women feel entitled to a man's resources. It's always best for the girls to invest as much as they are willing to offer.

 

[Skills]

You should always take the masculine role and pay if the situation presents...

But the best way is not to fall into paying situations, schedule and control the dates... I schedule my meets after dinner time strategically and I keep away from traditional courtship type activities....

 

[ElderPrice]

My interpretation was always the following:

The kind of date you would try not paying for is the $10 coffee date. Or the $20 food date.

If the date you suggested is a more expensive restaurant and you waited until the check arrives to reveal you're not paying, then the girl will NOT be happy. Nor would anyone in a situation like that.

 

[immy3482]

I've never paid for anything for any girl on any first date - it's just not my thing. However, once I get to know her a bit and she's proven herself to be loyal, I'm way less tight with money.

I've had a few girls ask about it. I just say, "I don't pay for people I don't really know. If we end up seeing each other for a bit, then that's obviously different." 99.9% of girls have been cool with it. And if they're not, awesome - now I know she's not the kind of girl I want to spend my time with, so I don't see her again.

 

[Fuck This]

Schedule dates you don't pay for anything or the cost is low.

If it is coffee, or a beer and it is a problem for you to buy her a cup of coffee then you have other problems to deal with.

First dates are basically interviews to see if you give each other hard ons.

First date ideas
Walks in parks or gardens.
hikes
go to public beach/nature preserve/forests
Bowling, Mini golf, some competitive action activity where you can talk.


Second /Third dates
Dinner at your place "bring a bottle of your favorite wine or spirit"
Picnic in a private outdoor setting.
U-pick orchard or berry farm. Bake something with it together

Later dates:
overnight weekend camping trip. you bring the camping gear she brings the food.

 

[Mr STIF]

When I had a house to myself, I'll plant the date at he nearest bar or restaurant close to my apartment.

Then seed something to show her - which leads to isolation or if she didn't catch the bait I must have painted the picture of my apartment in her mind that the second date would be straight to the house.(I'll workout some magic over text which won't make me go on a second date).

You can also take her to a cheap hotel, but it should be comfortable. Just chill out at the bar, nothing too light just casual yet close enough that both knees are touching each others'. I turn up the vibe and get her randy, then, I go for the pull: 'I know somewhere quiet we could go, it would be just the two of us.'

Hell fuck yeah! The first date could even be a jog or workout session where we end up getting to know each other as our frame of personality is subcommunicated through dialogue. I'll plant another meet-up via text and it would land us in the isolation phase of my seduction process. I might talk about food and suggest dinner at my place.

Mr Stif

 

[POB]

I don't want to pay for date, but I also don't want to come across as cheap.

I've had girls get mad at me before for not paying.

I think I have a lot of provider signals - good job, expensive clothing. And that's what causes an incongruence. How can I maintain my image and not pay for dates?

This is how I do it:

1) coffee shop or deli (avoid bars like the plague if you want this to work);
2) meet and greet her, immediately pick a table, pull two chairs and sit down! (this is critical). Start talking to her like you have already ordered;
3a) if there's no waiter(ress), just stay there and proceed with the date;
3b) if someone comes to take your order, say you are ok for now and is gonna think about it...let her order something if she wants too;

That's it, zero money spent on dates.

"Oh POB, but she will not want me to pay for it?"

Believe me, she's probably gonna feel embarrassed if she asks you to pay for something she got alone.
This is a glitch in woman's chivalry standards: if you don't consume, you don't have to pay for her shit...it's a grey area you can explore.

"What if she does not order anything and the waiter say we have to consume to stay there?"

This never happened to me, but in that case, you have 2 options:
- order the cheapest beverage of the menu (probably water) and suck it up;
- change venues and start a 3 bounce technique (advanced);

 

[ulrich]

Take her to coffee shop or any other cheap place and just pay the god damn thing.

Get somewhere in your finances where a 5-10 dollars expense is just an afterthought.

 

[Skjöldr]

Schedule dates you don't pay for anything or the cost is low.

If it is coffee, or a beer and it is a problem for you to buy her a cup of coffee then you have other problems to deal with.

First dates are basically interviews to see if you give each other hard ons.

First date ideas
Walks in parks or gardens.
hikes
go to public beach/nature preserve/forests
Bowling, Mini golf, some competitive action activity where you can talk.


Second /Third dates
Dinner at your place "bring a bottle of your favorite wine or spirit"
Picnic in a private outdoor setting.
U-pick orchard or berry farm. Bake something with it together

Later dates:
overnight weekend camping trip. you bring the camping gear she brings the food.

^
My MO these dates are park/hike close to my place, pull, glass of soda or water for her, sit in sofa, escalate. Then afterwards i just invite them straight over.

 

[pikachu]

I don't know how y'all are turning walks, hikes, and jogs sexual. Especially during the day. I have much to learn.

 

[Skjöldr]

I don't know how y'all are turning walks, hikes, and jogs sexual. Especially during the day. I have much to learn.

From top of my head i will hug her with one arm yknow and let it slide down her back and gently stroke her ass on the way back. If she doesn't notice i have still built more comfort around touching her and if she does notice, on top of that, she will wonder if it was on purpose or not, just to get the hamster wheel started.

Then i will small talk a bit with her, ask her what she's been up to since our last talk and from that information build some push/pull banter, tease, roleplay etc to set an informal frame where nothing's too serious and put her at ease for opening up to me. Then i will throw in some chase frames. Then i will walk beside her and hold strong eye contact and smirk confidently, feel her out. If she's like zig zagging a bit so she's bumping into you or close to bumping into you, i will do the same so we bump into eachother a few times. Also i touch her shoulder sometimes when i say something or pretend something's in her hair and then run my hand through it and lay my hand on her neck and then take it away. All very slowly. If we are walking next to an electric fence or a river or something i might playbully ass bump her or grab her and pretend i'm gonna throw her in the water. After half an hour i will move to a bench. Depending on my gut feeling, i will move as close as i think she's ready for. Then i will work on proximity if i still don't sit close enough. Sliding down and then when you're laughing, slide up and in the same move slide closer. She won't notice. Then show something on your phone and move close. When you're close, almost to the point of legs touching or very close, take your arm around her behind the back of the bench. Don't touch her yet.. Then stroke her shoulder/arm a bit after 10 seconds, then stop. Then have your arm touching her back and then stroke a bit and stop stroke a bit and stop and then just stroke. Depending on logistics you can either go for a pull to your place or her place or you can kiss her. If you kiss her you can simply gently put your hand that you are stroking her with on her cheek and turn her head and kiss if she's not looking at you, kiss her if she's looking at you or say "hey lemme see" and then just go close to her face. She will look at you and then kiss. I like to go for pull before kiss. At home you can finish the deal. Seed something in the conversation that you can use to bounce off. If you wanna pull to her place say something like "hey let's go home and watch those videos/chill/etc".she will say "..my place?" And you say "yeah sounds good" and keep moving and change the subject.

 

[William Wallace]

From top of my head i will hug her with one arm yknow and let it slide down her back and gently stroke her ass on the way back. If she doesn't notice i have still built more comfort around touching her and if she does notice, on top of that, she will wonder if it was on purpose or not, just to get the hamster wheel started.

Then i will small talk a bit with her, ask her what she's been up to since our last talk and from that information build some push/pull banter, tease, roleplay etc to set an informal frame where nothing's too serious and put her at ease for opening up to me. Then i will throw in some chase frames. Then i will walk beside her and hold strong eye contact and smirk confidently, feel her out. If she's like zig zagging a bit so she's bumping into you or close to bumping into you, i will do the same so we bump into eachother a few times. Also i touch her shoulder sometimes when i say something or pretend something's in her hair and then run my hand through it and lay my hand on her neck and then take it away. All very slowly. If we are walking next to an electric fence or a river or something i might playbully ass bump her or grab her and pretend i'm gonna throw her in the water. After half an hour i will move to a bench. Depending on my gut feeling, i will move as close as i think she's ready for. Then i will work on proximity if i still don't sit close enough. Sliding down and then when you're laughing, slide up and in the same move slide closer. She won't notice. Then show something on your phone and move close. When you're close, almost to the point of legs touching or very close, take your arm around her behind the back of the bench. Don't touch her yet.. Then stroke her shoulder/arm a bit after 10 seconds, then stop. Then have your arm touching her back and then stroke a bit and stop stroke a bit and stop and then just stroke. Depending on logistics you can either go for a pull to your place or her place or you can kiss her. If you kiss her you can simply gently put your hand that you are stroking her with on her cheek and turn her head and kiss if she's not looking at you, kiss her if she's looking at you or say "hey lemme see" and then just go close to her face. She will look at you and then kiss. I like to go for pull before kiss. At home you can finish the deal. Seed something in the conversation that you can use to bounce off. If you wanna pull to her place say something like "hey let's go home and watch those videos/chill/etc".she will say "..my place?" And you say "yeah sounds good" and keep moving and change the subject.

someone really have there strat done hahahaha!

 

[pikachu]

okay so let me get this straight. it's okay to pay for coffee and a drink on date 1 or date 2. If I don't pull then for the next date I can just invite them over to my place for a cooked meal? Or just to hang out?

This blows mind. Are women okay with being invited over like that?

 

[Skills]

okay so let me get this straight. it's okay to pay for coffee and a drink on date 1 or date 2. If I don't pull then for the next date I can just invite them over to my place for a cooked meal? Or just to hang out?

This blows mind. Are women okay with being invited over like that?

yes, depends on how you frame it.... for example the dude from playing with fire frames it as "splitting a bottle of wine in my romantic balcony" , back in the days i used to frame it as "lets watch a movie" (theater movie is a nono) but video movies (back in the days was great)...

 

[Fuck This]

okay so let me get this straight. it's okay to pay for coffee and a drink on date 1 or date 2. If I don't pull then for the next date I can just invite them over to my place for a cooked meal? Or just to hang out?

This blows mind. Are women okay with being invited over like that?

Sex On The First Date Or The Second Date? - Alpha Male 2.0

Enable Dark Mode Enable Light Mode Get Free Email Updates! Join us for FREE to get instant email updates! Jack (one of two Jacks who comment here) posed an interesting question in the comments on a recent post: You recommend a 2 date model whereas most PUAs recommend a one date model. Chase...

blackdragonblog.com

Even mentions Chase.....

 

[ulrich]

okay so let me get this straight. it's okay to pay for coffee and a drink on date 1 or date 2. If I don't pull then for the next date I can just invite them over to my place for a cooked meal? Or just to hang out?

This blows mind. Are women okay with being invited over like that?

Usually you have to solve some objections but by second date it is pretty easy to pull off.

Yeah it blew my mind originally too

 

[pikachu]

I've brought girls home on first and second dates. Never directly invited them over for the date though. This would save so much effort especially since i don't want to be outside with the 'rona