How to be an asshole without bitterness?

[readjusting]

Okay, so a few days ago I read this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how- ... ored-women
To apply it, I was doing the "asshole" exercise: In 1 month, deflecting 100% requests from girls.
BUT
Today is Day 3. I really did deflect every single request from girls. But I feared that if this continued, I would become bitter:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/most ... -be-bitter
As far as I know, bitterness will kill my progress.

So how do you be an asshole while still be a lover of women?

 

[Lover]

Not sure I follow... how do you become bitter by being an asshole?

 

[readjusting]

Yesterday, the girl just talked, and I stonewalled, and another guy offered his seat to her. From the outside, it just looked like I hated women.

I should rephrase my question a bit. From the outside perspective, how can I be an asshole to women but at the same time I love women?
I want to avoid negative preselection.

 

[Lover]

Yesterday, the girl just talked, and I stonewalled, and another guy offered his seat to her. From the outside, it just looked like I hated women.

I should rephrase my question a bit. From the outside perspective, how can I be an asshole to women but at the same time I love women?
I want to avoid negative preselection.

Technical change. Instead of deflecting requests, demand her, in a half-serious and half-joking way, to meet your conditions.

She wants your seat? "Only in exchange for a quick chat with some juice/coffee/whatever on you "

If she's down, there's a chance she's attracted to you. Otherwise she wants a seat badly and is willing to do whatever it takes.
If she's not down, she'll just find someone who complies easier.

It all comes down to the kind of request and level of investment. But it also comes down to you getting what you want.

I have a female friend who is moving back to town and going to study same courses as me. In order to help with her "transition" from her former university to mine, I told her that I'm going to demand a hot drink and some lunch - on her. Of course she complied since I have been giving up time to help her both online and offline, and I can't just give away that time for free.

Only deflect requests if your conditions are not met No need to deflect requests for no reason when you can turn them in your favor

 

[BigW]

You have to enjoy giving her all spectrum of emotions. You need to understands when a woman is angry at you, she is actually not that angry as you would be on someone. They actually enjoy being angry and creating all that drama in her relationship with men.

In order to get her to be yours, you need to give her both good and bad emotions. Last night a saw a guy telling one of the girls he was with that she is a "whore". But he said that with positive energy. He said that while smiling and guess what? Everyone else laughed too. Including the girl.

Hope that can help you, also check this article: http://www.rebornmasculinity.com/i-love-women-do-you/

 

[trashKENNUT]

C,

I think you are concern about your personal development. It takes some time to remove bitterness.

Zac

 

[Darius]

I love this forum

Just got into a very similar situation with a girl randomly asking for a cigarette in an airport, and I denied. Some other guy offerred her, then everyone looked at me like I was some horrible person lol.

I was caught off guard and went into default 'asshole mode', but then I started wondering how I could have turned that around.

Technical change. Instead of deflecting requests, demand her, in a half-serious and half-joking way, to meet your conditions.

She wants your seat? "Only in exchange for a quick chat with some juice/coffee/whatever on you "

If she's down, there's a chance she's attracted to you. Otherwise she wants a seat badly and is willing to do whatever it takes.
If she's not down, she'll just find someone who complies easier.

It all comes down to the kind of request and level of investment. But it also comes down to you getting what you want.

I have a female friend who is moving back to town and going to study same courses as me. In order to help with her "transition" from her former university to mine, I told her that I'm going to demand a hot drink and some lunch - on her. Of course she complied since I have been giving up time to help her both online and offline, and I can't just give away that time for free.

Only deflect requests if your conditions are not met No need to deflect requests for no reason when you can turn them in your favor

Exactly what I needed. Props!

 

[Tim Iron]

I love this forum

Just got into a very similar situation with a girl randomly asking for a cigarette in an airport, and I denied. Some other guy offerred her, then everyone looked at me like I was some horrible person lol.

I was caught off guard and went into default 'asshole mode', but then I started wondering how I could have turned that around.


Exactly what I needed. Props!

How did she know that you are a smoker? I don't smoke, so if I were the one asked, I would just say "no"... and nothing else.

 

[Darius]

How did she know that you are a smoker? I don't smoke, so if I were the one asked, I would just say "no"... and nothing else.

i was chilling in a smoking area with a coffee and a cigarette waiting for my plane.. she came through the door, saw me and just said "cigarette? please".

I asked her to clarify but she didn't speak English so.. there were maybe 5 other people and they were all looking at us.. then I asked if she wants a cigarette and she said "yes" with a dumb smile.. I just said no lol exactly the same reaction.

There was another guy who said "i have a cigarette" and an older lady gave her a light. I just minded my own business after but they all looked very weird at me. I didn't care but I felt I could have handled that situation better.

There is a happy ending. About half an hour later I went out for another cigarette in the same spot. She was looking around.. So I made eye contact and she started laughing. I gestured her to come over at my table, and she sat down. I gave her a cigarette and we started "talking".

She was Russian, apparently she had come from Moscow. We had a chat with google translate but then her internet fell off, and I didn't have either. We laughed a little and communicated with sign language lol. She had tattoos on her hands and I asked to touch them, she said yes..

After a minute we both got frustrated we couldn't talk, I had a plane to catch and would not have had any kind of logistics there with her, so I just told her I had to go.

It was a fun ride definitely got me bonus points that I refused her the first time I think.

 

[Searcher]

Okay, so a few days ago I read this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how- ... ored-women
To apply it, I was doing the "asshole" exercise: In 1 month, deflecting 100% requests from girls.
BUT
Today is Day 3. I really did deflect every single request from girls. But I feared that if this continued, I would become bitter:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/most ... -be-bitter
As far as I know, bitterness will kill my progress.

So how do you be an asshole while still be a lover of women?

Think of this video to sum up what you look like if you be a try hard and be an "asshole" to most people.

Also if you demand more than what you get then the high-value or more socially skilled people will shun you.

So it's all about being polite and genuine. Though you have to defend your boundaries.
But if you try to step on others just for the sake of being an "asshole", some weaker and less dominant people might submit but the cooler people will give you your medicine right back and you will basically be considered someone not worth the time.

 

[Chase]

@readjusting & @Darius,

The concept of being an asshole is not just shooting down every request. See the section in that article entitled "Never Go Full Asshole."

So like if you are doing this:

Yesterday, the girl just talked, and I stonewalled, and another guy offered his seat to her. From the outside, it just looked like I hated women.

or this:

Just got into a very similar situation with a girl randomly asking for a cigarette in an airport, and I denied. Some other guy offerred her, then everyone looked at me like I was some horrible person lol.

That's full asshole. Full asshole is just "no", without a reason or asking for an equivalent or greater exchange of value.

Charismatic asshole is asking for something in exchange for what you're being asked for.

e.g.,

Her: Hey, can I have a cigarette?
​

You: Only if you tell me your name and where you're flying off to.​

That's the kind of asshole you want to be.

Hope that helps clarify.

Chase

 

[Darius]

thanks for the clarification @Chase

I see what you mean. I will say, I think it's kind of hard to maintain that balance of being just the right amount of asshole, it requires a lot of presence.

I started out being a very nice pushover kind of guy, then went on full asshole mode, and now I'm trying to rein it in. Sometimes if I'm caught off guard I switch back to asshole mode by default.

Working on trying to be more understanding

How should you react if you realise you've been too much of an asshole? Especially towards women, I would think straight up apologising and admitting you messed up is not the best idea (particularly if you sent the girl into auto-rejection).

 

[Alpha13SC]

I understand what you're trying to say. Usually, I deny all kind of requests from somebody that can do it by themselves, or if I feel that I m putting to much effort, to the point where people just do their stuff instead of asking me because they now they cannot get anything, unless it's something serious. (This does not include friends who I m trusting).

A good rule of thumb I m following is that if I m offering to do something, like helping an old lady crossing the streets or something, I m doing it like it's 0 effort from me, and never asking something in return. Of course, if there's a girl asking me this, I can use this as an opener, but not to ask something in return, feels odd, like buying her attention.

Also, if something feels like somebody s trying to use me, I decline 100%.

A good exercise is that next time when a begger(especially kids) is trying to get some money from you, just hold eye contact with them and do nothing, just say a "No" and that's it. They ll insist. Just look dead in their eye. It can be a good exercise to kill that thing in you that makes easier to accept pleasing other people, when in reality, you should ignore it.

Sometimes I let some cash there, but without ever thinking of them ever again.

Before saying something about beggers, the ones in my country are just some kind of underground mafia, placed by other people, and most of the time, they have more cash than me in their pocket.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

@Darius dude! If you've sent a girl into auto rejection use the auto rejection turn around. @Chase has an article on it

In summary, acknowledge she's upset, explain that's not how you intended it, offer an olive branch / call to action.

"Hey NAME, I realise you took what I said/did hard. I didn't intend it to come across like that, let's grab some drinks"

Don't apologise for what you done unless you've really fucked up (there's an article on this), and this is one of the times where buying the drinks/ice cream/coffee is fine, it's a peace offering/olive branch to make it up to her. This does not mean buy an extravagant gift! We're talking small tokens