How to be the charming and cool guy in a group/mixed set

[Searcher]

Whenever I talk with a group of people I feel like I fade away as one of the average members and not be the coolest guy in the group.

I crack well placed jokes occasionally and maybe a couple of stories but don't know how to become the coolest guy in the group.

I feel like asking questions which are a bit deep diving might come off as awkward because it's reserved for one on one conversations.

What are your thoughts on this?

 

[Boom_1982]

I think you're putting excessive focus on coming across as cool which can be counterproductive. Focus on having good time, enjoy conversations and contribute while observing law of least effort. There should be fine balance between how much you're talking vs listening and excessive jokes can negatively affect you. Here's what I recommend improving:
1: Fundamentals
2: Fashion sense
3: Dominance
4: Conversation skills.
In short, be in top 1%.

 

[HoofHearted]

Well, you seem pretty cool as is. But.

Why do you feel like you need to be the coolest guy in the group? You don't need to be the coolest guy in the group to get chicks, and you don't need to be the coolest guy to make money, and you don't need to be all that cool to just generally have a pretty good day.

So what are you after here?

 

[Searcher]

Well, you seem pretty cool as is. But.

Why do you feel like you need to be the coolest guy in the group? You don't need to be the coolest guy in the group to get chicks, and you don't need to be the coolest guy to make money, and you don't need to be all that cool to just generally have a pretty good day.

So what are you after here?

Why not be the top dog in the group?
You get to have the feeling of being the most powerful with people looking up to you.
You will have the choice of women. People will always be nice and you don't have to deal with attempts of disrespect from people because there is the fear of being ostracized.

 

[HoofHearted]

I feel like I'm talking to a flawed mental model here, my man.

But who knows.

I'm not sure how to make other people think you're cool. You might be better off just becoming something cool, and then seeing how that changes people's receptions toward you, but the side effect from 'doing' might be that you care less.

Or I guess you could make an Instagram, like some of these waitresses do at my favorite restaurant, pretending to be models. They are actually pretty beautiful girls, I even tip them 20% if they bring me ice for my Diet Coke.

The difference between being, and appearing, I guess.