Break Ups How to break up safely - BPD girl with self harm tendancy

[empath]

I have gotten myself into a stick situation.

I have created a relationship expectations which I don't want to continue anymore.

I had sex with a girl whom I met on dating app and hit it off.

Now we had unprotected sex and she had irregular periods she thought she might be pregnant, we went to doctor and she said there is a slim chance. Anyways to console her at that point I said I will carry the child and we will marry.

Now after this all episode she had her period. So finally, this headache of rearing a kid was over. But she told me in last 15 days she has became very close to me. I didn't called her when she told me her periods started.

During those 15 days we were calling every day and chatting on phone she was giving me emotional support for my office and some other personal problems.

Now, when she said this to me. I said nothing has changed. Then we were supposed to meet but I had some other plans so I told her I am busy.

Later that night I texted her and decided to go meet her. She said that there was no need to lie if I wanted to party.

But I learnt she had cut her hand. She has engaged in self harm before meeting me as well.

Also, I had told her after 2 weeks of laying. That I want to explore more and I was treating her as GF. So, she was mentally prepared to not get emotionally attached to me. But now she said after this baby episode she will be very affected if I leave her.

Also, she has a fear she can't get pregnant so she was very keen on getting pregnant.

Now, this weekend I had unprotected sex with her good thing is she was on her periods but I am afraid if I continue with her I will end up making her pregnant. Also, I can't continue seducing other women while with her.

How should I break up with her in least damaging way?

I am thinking of saying this I will end up making you pregnant and I don't want kid right now so let's end this relationship.

If she ask me stay as a friend then it will be a problem.

Also, her friends left the city so she will be kinda alone.

 

[Warped Mindless]

1) stop sticking your dick in crazy. Especially unprotected .

2) “I appreciate you as a person and I wish you all the best but I want to go our separate ways. Take care.”

don’t wait for a reply, block her number. Block her on social media. Block her everywhere.

 

[Skills]

Did a post on this:

Break Ups - The different ways to break up....

One of the guys in my crew wants to break up, and ask how to? I realize there is not a decent guide on how to break up, most kind of weak that i read or ramblings.... I kind of like Neil one at the end credit @Dreamer going to post later.... Now i am going to post different ones, even dark ones...

www.skilledseducer.com

Here is something similar that happened to me, consult the authoriti4es:

Break Ups - Called the police on a girl threatening with suicide

One of the girls i was seeing that was extremely/deeply in love with me, I broke it up, cut all contact as i recommend you do after break up, but she send a text saying she was going to have a 50/50 life ending surgery, so due to that i violated my not contact with exes rule, and saw her once...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[empath]

1) stop sticking your dick in crazy. Especially unprotected .

2) “I appreciate you as a person and I wish you all the best but I want to go our separate ways. Take care.”

don’t wait for a reply, block her number. Block her on social media. Block her everywhere.

What if she starts cutting her hand? This seems very cold.

I sent her a book about curing her BPD.

I am thinking about breaking up after she finishes that book.

I think i will say I can't stop fucking you raw but If you get pregnant I can't take responsibility of the baby so you best for you is we don't meet.

 

[topcat]

What if she starts cutting her hand? This seems very cold.

I sent her a book about curing her BPD.

I am thinking about breaking up after she finishes that book.

I think i will say I can't stop fucking you raw but If you get pregnant I can't take responsibility of the baby so you best for you is we don't meet.

this gotta be a troll

 

[empath]

this gotta be a troll

Seriously? You can check my LR it's the same girl. I saw her cut her hands last weekend, so I am afraid.

 

[TomInHo]

Seriously? You can check my LR it's the same girl. I saw her cut her hands last weekend, so I am afraid.

Tbh… that’s her problem

It’s her mental illness and not yours. She can do whatever she wants with her body and life

But if you don’t want to see her anymore just let her know it ain’t working out and you both want different things

No need to make it this super complicated and drawn out thing

And BPD cannot be cured by reading a book. She needs real help from a professional and it will be a lifetime commitment

Put yourself first playa because this chick is no longer your responsibility

 

[empath]

Tbh… that’s her problem

It’s her mental illness and not yours. She can do whatever she wants with her body and life

But if you don’t want to see her anymore just let her know it ain’t working out and you both want different things

No need to make it this super complicated and drawn out thing

And BPD cannot be cured by reading a book. She needs real help from a professional and it will be a lifetime commitment

Put yourself first playa because this chick is no longer your responsibility

Is there any less damaging way or it will be not working out + ghosting? She helped me a lot non sexually, I really feel like I owe her something idk. Like she was always available and came to me whenever I wanted her. Now leaving her in a trouble when I made her attached seems very assholish.

More than breaking up with her guilt will eat me

 

[TomInHo]

Is there any less damaging way or it will be not working out + ghosting? She helped me a lot non sexually, I really feel like I owe her something idk. Like she was always available and came to me whenever I wanted her. Now leaving her in a trouble when I made her attached seems very assholish.

Who gives a fuck about being an Asshole?

The relationship is over, so why do you want to be a people pleaser?

End it and move on

It may suck for her in the short term but give her enough time and she will find a new dick to ride and forget all about you

Women are a lot stronger than some of us men give them credit. Anything that bleeds for 7 days every month can handle some pain… trust

 

[topcat]

Seriously? You can check my LR it's the same girl. I saw her cut her hands last weekend, so I am afraid.

well in that case dude. drop her out and don’t look back. mean? sure..but she’s meaner.

think..if she was really suicidal she’d go for her jugular or eat arsenic. she hasn’t though. she makes little cuts on her arms in attempt to get you riled up and trigger your misplaced empathy.

it’s working.

leave her alone as you’re about to fuck yourself real bad.

 

[Warped Mindless]

Stop thinking it’s your job to fix fucked up people.

There is a 99% chance she doesn’t truly harm herself but a 100% chance she used her “BPD” to try and manipulate you.

 

[TomInHo]

Okay you know what... lets get real here everyone

Sure this girl may have BDP but we can't put all the blame on her. OP has been acting like a moron

- He met a girl that is mentally unstable
- Knew she had a history of cutting herself
- Decided it was smart to fuck her raw
- Thought she was pregnant
- Then he said he was going to marry her and raise the child
- After they find out she is not prego he stops contact
- She gets emotional and behaves like a woman

This woman is not trying to manipulate him. She is just confused and hurt because he is all over the place and doesn't know what he wants... aka bad leadership

Women with BDP cut themselves to soothe pain they are feeling. And it's no surprise she is cutting herself after all the emotional turmoil and uncertainty @empath has created. A normal woman may not cut herself but please believe even an emotionally healthy woman will become very neurotic if he did the same thing to her

Sometimes on this forum I feel we villainize women with BPD and treat them like they aren't human. I'm not saying you have to put up with it, but it helps to know where they are coming from when they do what they do

I've had some FBs with BPD and as long as I ran things correctly I got minimal drama. Doesn't mean I would seriously date them though because they can be a bit too needy and co-dependent for my taste

But regardless, if he doesn't want to date her anymore because of her mental illness he also has a right to do so. And all he needs to do is set a firm boundary with her, end the relationship, develop some emotional control and be careful with how he sets expectations with future girls

Don't make promises you can't keep if you want peace

 

[DarkKnight]

I had a girlfriend with bpd back in the day... threatened suicide all the time. I too felt guilt until I got tired of it. I was very inexperienced back then so I get where OP is coming from. These girls actually DO gaslight you into feeling guilt by self harm threats.

Anyway obviously I dropped her and I promised myself one thing then: if a girl threatens suicide, I would immediately drop here there and then.

End the relationship OP, believe me she will find someone else, they always do, sooner than you think

 

[empath]

Okay you know what... lets get real here everyone

Sure this girl may have BDP but we can't put all the blame on her. OP has been acting like a moron

- He met a girl that is mentally unstable
- Knew she had a history of cutting herself
- Decided it was smart to fuck her raw
- Thought she was pregnant
- Then he said he was going to marry her and raise the child
- After they find out she is not prego he stops contact
- She gets emotional and behaves like a woman

This woman is not trying to manipulate him. She is just confused and hurt because he is all over the place and doesn't know what he wants... aka bad leadership

Women with BDP cut themselves to soothe pain they are feeling. And it's no surprise she is cutting herself after all the emotional turmoil and uncertainty @empath has created. A normal woman may not cut herself but please believe even an emotionally healthy woman will become very neurotic if he did the same thing to her

Sometimes on this forum I feel we villainize women with BPD and treat them like they aren't human. I'm not saying you have to put up with it, but it helps to know where they are coming from when they do what they do

I've had some FBs with BPD and as long as I ran things correctly I got minimal drama. Doesn't mean I would seriously date them though because they can be a bit too needy and co-dependent for my taste

But regardless, if he doesn't want to date her anymore because of her mental illness he also has a right to do so. And all he needs to do is set a firm boundary with her, end the relationship, develop some emotional control and be careful with how he sets expectations with future girls

Don't make promises you can't keep if you want peace

Yes your diagnosis is accurate. She is not manipulating me. She is just confused.

Also, for self harm she said she do it only if she feels intense pain inside.

She only wanted someone to be permanent in her life and she thought I will be.

Now, she knows since she is no longer pregnant I don't have any reason to be stick around and this is causing her neurotic behaviour.

Now, what I did worse is tried to heal her where I should have escaped this situation from day one.

Now, Knowing her depression and self harm came back just after meeting me is making me guilty.

This time I was the trigger due to my inexperience.

However, I understood she will need to fix herself on her own.

If I remove myself from her life it will be better for both of us.

I just want it to be in the least damaging way.

I have researched some of BPD on my own there are 2 ways to go about it either text break up and ghosting. This I would have no issue if it was some girl with BPD and malicious intent.

I can clearly see she don't have malicious intent, so others approach let the breakup be slow. I will text her about break up and end the sexual relationship and stay in touch over text and calls.

Also, I belive I have some agency so i can't take who gives fuck approach.

 

[empath]

I had a girlfriend with bpd back in the day... threatened suicide all the time. I too felt guilt until I got tired of it. I was very inexperienced back then so I get where OP is coming from. These girls actually DO gaslight you into feeling guilt by self harm threats.

Anyway obviously I dropped her and I promised myself one thing then: if a girl threatens suicide, I would immediately drop here there and then.

End the relationship OP, believe me she will find someone else, they always do, sooner than you think

In my case she never threatened me with suicides. She have those thoughts but she never said if I leave she committ suicide.

She is cutting herself to sooth her pain as @TomInHo mentioned.

But yes best for us is I leave her so I will take the step and text her.

 

[Skills]

In my case she never threatened me with suicides. She have those thoughts but she never said if I leave she committ suicide.

She is cutting herself to sooth her pain as @TomInHo mentioned.

But yes best for us is I leave her so I will take the step and text her.

Empath call 911 as per my post .. police went to her house took her to a loony place for 3 days, after that she didn't try again...