How to charm a group of people who have known each other a long time.

[Searcher]

I was recently invited by one person to his group of friends.
The people in that group (about 4 people) were ones that had known each other a long time (3-4 years) and a very close knit group where they know everything about each other and do a lot of favors for each other.

However I felt very excluded when hanging out with them because most things they talked about was regarding how their other friends we're doing (who I don't know) and about their shared work experiences (they seem to work in the same company).

Any attempt by me to try to relate to their experience by telling about my own was pointless and when I tried to ask them questions it was like they were bored to answer.

How to handle such situations and not get excluded?

 

[Regal Tiger]

There was a similar issue that came up for me today at work. So I'd be interested in hearing anyone's opinions/experiences/thoughts about this as well

 

[Raprebell]

Probably because you didn’t offer them any value and sometimes people just don’t want to extend their circle further. Worst case they just don’t like you.

 

[ulrich]

Just hang in there.

Groups of people who know themselves for a very long time have inside jokes and long stories that are such a hassle to explain.

Over time, they will tell you about them and you will start creating those in the group.
They will start including you more, progressively.

I have a group of friends who were best buddies for 10 years before I joined 12 years ago… they still bring stories of the old times but also a lot of the new ones where I am involved.

 

[Fuck This]

Breaking into a new social circle requires them to be curious about you. As well as you finding something in common with them.

How do you know Lee?
Oh I work with him. How about you?
I met him climbing in the Alps last year.
Wow that's cool! I visited Switzerland last Spring but i never got into the mountains.
Oh isn't the Zurich Train Station awesome?
Yes it is ...So precise! I didn't realize you liked stuff like that...
i love everything Swiss....Watches, Chocolate, Army knives...The Family Robinson...
Ha You have a good sense of humor!