Socializing How to Counter "Cockblockers" Twixt You And Your Mark, Claiming You're Too Old?

[Noitard]

I ran into an issue with someone close to me, when I was flirting with a girl who was way into me. In such a case, what are my options? Essentially, take ownership by saying I am flirting, and joking about being old and creepy like Craig Ferguson, or something?

 

[Chase]

Physical AMOG + dismissal:

HER: [laughing]​

​

YOU: So then blah blah...​

​

CB: You're too old for this girl.​

​

YOU: [two firm pats on cockblock's upper arm, firm-yet-menacing smile as you stare into face, firm voice tone] Thanks for the feedback, chum. [return to talking to the girl]​

That's how I handle these "Hey let me share my negative opinion of you" random interlopers.

The pats need to be firm enough and the smile and eye contact menacing enough that this person gets the feeling he is signing up to get slapped around if he wants to continue sticking his nose where it doesn't belong.

Then he can decide if he's willing to go to battle to white knight for this chick or not. He won't.

White knights are word warriors. They don't want a physical confrontation. It frightens them.

Chase

 

[Chase]

(if it's a woman you need to handle it different because physical intimidation of women leads to them getting pissed off and trying to rally others against you. In that case you just smile at her like she's the retarded 5 year old who said something dumb and tell her, "Thanks for the opinion," in a condescending tone, then return to your conversation as if nothing happened. Here instead of physical intimidation, you are using social dismissal, which is way more potent against women who pick up on all these subtle things)

 

[Noitard]

Thank you for the input, Chase. It was a woman cockblocking, in fact, and a close relative. That make any difference?

 

[Chase]

Thank you for the input, Chase. It was a woman cockblocking, in fact, and a close relative. That make any difference?

Oh. Well, I've never encountered that, but I think if I did, I'd probably just give the relative the bored look, then look at the girl and shrug my eyebrows with a "Gee, that was weird!" expression and return to talking.

Chase

 

[DarkKnight]

There is another dynamic to this.

Close relatives tend to have a first impression of you which simply does not fade for whatever reason. So when they see you getting a girl or flirting they start to put pressure because you are acting "off". Usually they do not fully understand you are trying to get something so for them this can comes across as funny.

All my cousins know I am a player, they have seen me get girls, they have seen women hound me. But for some reason the people in my closest family cannot shed the image of a 13 year old boy. I brought one of my family members to a venue where I come and am treated as very very very high value, young girls were flirting heavily with me and my close family member was really shocked. They even recounted it to my other family members as "I didn't know he was like this".

This is also caused because I keep my fast life aside from my family life but it was really telling that there was some cognitive dissonance there. You can tell them all the stories but they will not believe you unless they see it with their own eyes.

OP you are too boxed in with a certain image with your relatives. Not necessarily your fault. These things just follow you.

 

[Will_V]

There is another dynamic to this.

Close relatives tend to have a first impression of you which simply does not fade for whatever reason. So when they see you getting a girl or flirting they start to put pressure because you are acting "off". Usually they do not fully understand you are trying to get something so for them this can comes across as funny.

All my cousins know I am a player, they have seen me get girls, they have seen women hound me. But for some reason the people in my closest family cannot shed the image of a 13 year old boy. I brought one of my family members to a venue where I come and am treated as very very very high value, young girls were flirting heavily with me and my close family member was really shocked. They even recounted it to my other family members as "I didn't know he was like this".

This is also caused because I keep my fast life aside from my family life but it was really telling that there was some cognitive dissonance there. You can tell them all the stories but they will not believe you unless they see it with their own eyes.

OP you are too boxed in with a certain image with your relatives. Not necessarily your fault. These things just follow you.

Absolutely, and even more so when you have undergone a lone transformation. There's nothing quite like family to try and make sure you never change.

I think it's ideal to try and break the pattern a little. I have a bit of a reputation as being 'adventurous' with women among my family, which is kind of intentional on my part for a variety of reasons. It's my in-laws who seem to be most uncomfortable with it lol. But I don't really approach at events when family are around, I prefer it when they hear about my reputation but see me well-behaved, it puts me in the best position.

 

[POB]

If it's someone from my family, I usually go:
"Thx, but it's none of your business."
Then ignore any further comments.

If they insist too much on the side jokes, when we are alone I draw the line:
"I know you think you know me because we are family, but you don't.
What you do know, it's just this bright side of me I chose to share with you guys.
So if you get into my business again, you gonna see my ugly side, and you probably won't like it."

Or you can just drop:

"You are too old for her"
"Why, are you jealous?"

 

[Noitard]

So, I don't in any way respond to the girl I'm targeting, and ask her what she thinks? I was thinking of turning to the critic in question who thinks I'm creepy, shrug, and say, "well, I think I'll let the lady decide," and then continue flirting with my target, something like that. How's that for a plan?

 

[Rakehell]

So, I don't in any way respond to the girl I'm targeting, and ask her what she thinks? I was thinking of turning to the critic in question who thinks I'm creepy, shrug, and say, "well, I think I'll let the lady decide," and then continue flirting with my target, something like that. How's that for a plan?

Sucks

Keep talking to the girl without diverting your body language. If they continue, give them a few quick glances but continue your convo. The social pressure will make them bow out.

If they still persist, say something like “what?” or “huh?”, in a mildly annoyed way so they repeat themselves again.

Pause for a few seconds, then look back at your girl and cut the thread “anyway etc etc”.

Shouldn’t be in an angry way, almost want it to seem like you heard them but weren’t listening. Like who it was and what they were saying registered as fuzzy noise.

Anybody with a brain isn’t gonna stick around to pester you more when there’s no in for them to grab onto. At some point they’ll realize they’re being a nuisance.

 

[Chase]

So, I don't in any way respond to the girl I'm targeting, and ask her what she thinks? I was thinking of turning to the critic in question who thinks I'm creepy, shrug, and say, "well, I think I'll let the lady decide," and then continue flirting with my target, something like that. How's that for a plan?

Just amplifies the objection and turns it from some irrelevant critique you're too cool to really consider to, instead, a truly big deal you're now asking the girl to deliberate on to determine your fate.

Girls are conformist. The current zeitgeist is that men are supposed to date people their own age. Unless she's a countercultural radical who gets off on thumbing her nose at social pressure, you asking her to decide between your advances and the person pressuring the two of you apart for age is you asking her to vote you off the island.

You want to minimize unfavorable social pressure from others, not amplify it then pass the decision to the girl and force her to decide.

Chase

 

[Rakehell]

Just amplifies the objection and turns it from some irrelevant critique you're too cool to really consider to, instead, a truly big deal you're now asking the girl to deliberate on to determine your fate.

Exactly, tbh any kind of acknowledgment in regards to their comment in the context of you and her just gives it power.

If it didn’t hold some truth it wouldn’t even register emotionally for you to push back on it.

Honestly just saw that this was family but doesn’t really change anything less it was dad or mom for me.

Any kind of acknowledgment from me on the verbal level would be me questioning their behavior, helping them save face (special occasion for close fam).

“Bad day?”, “Bored today huh?”, then “we’ll talk later” after their response. In a less harsh dismissive way.

Goes for any kind of verbal response in these cases, less justifying myself, more addressing why they’re making stupid comments.

edit: family context changes it up quite a bit tbh. If its anything like i’m imagining its probably some get together where fam-extended friends are involved. Can only speak for my family but some can veer on socially awkward and say things that throw you under the bus in a “chummy” way. Not really malicious like a random person, but still unproductive to what you’re trying to do. “Watch out for this guy” type of stuff that throws you under the bus, but is really them trying to make convo

In these situs probably best to veer toward diplomacy/defusing in a way thats beneficial for all parties involved.

“Yeahh okay you’ll get your turn later”, “you jealous?”, lighthearted kind of stuff.

Honestly depends on the dynamic, your relationship, and why they were doing it. Might be overkill to socially snuff out close fam for the sake of some girl.

Id ask yourself if they were sincerely being malicious or just busting your balls.

 

[Noitard]

Just amplifies the objection and turns it from some irrelevant critique you're too cool to really consider to, instead, a truly big deal you're now asking the girl to deliberate on to determine your fate.

Girls are conformist. The current zeitgeist is that men are supposed to date people their own age. Unless she's a countercultural radical who gets off on thumbing her nose at social pressure, you asking her to decide between your advances and the person pressuring the two of you apart for age is you asking her to vote you off the island.

You want to minimize unfavorable social pressure from others, not amplify it then pass the decision to the girl and force her to decide.

Chase

Gotcha; the girl inin question has turned evasive last time I engaged her, given I did not shut down the negative flack, and now she's skittish around me. Who can blame her?

 

[Noitard]

Exactly, tbh any kind of acknowledgment in regards to their comment in the context of you and her just gives it power.

If it didn’t hold some truth it wouldn’t even register emotionally for you to push back on it.

Honestly just saw that this was family but doesn’t really change anything less it was dad or mom for me.

Any kind of acknowledgment from me on the verbal level would be me questioning their behavior, helping them save face (special occasion for close fam).

“Bad day?”, “Bored today huh?”, then “we’ll talk later” after their response. In a less harsh dismissive way.

Goes for any kind of verbal response in these cases, less justifying myself, more addressing why they’re making stupid comments.

edit: family context changes it up quite a bit tbh. If its anything like i’m imagining its probably some get together where fam-extended friends are involved. Can only speak for my family but some can veer on socially awkward and say things that throw you under the bus in a “chummy” way. Not really malicious like a random person, but still unproductive to what you’re trying to do. “Watch out for this guy” type of stuff that throws you under the bus, but is really them trying to make convo

In these situs probably best to veer toward diplomacy/defusing in a way thats beneficial for all parties involved.

“Yeahh okay you’ll get your turn later”, “you jealous?”, lighthearted kind of stuff.

Honestly depends on the dynamic, your relationship, and why they were doing it. Might be overkill to socially snuff out close fam for the sake of some girl.

Id ask yourself if they were sincerely being malicious or just busting your balls.

In this case, the critic was my mother. That alter anything, her saying I was too old?

 

[Rakehell]

In this case, the critic was my mother. That alter anything, her saying I was too old?

Absolutely, I respect my parents first, regardless of anything, even if their actions don’t necessarily warrant it.

Realize that she has an image of you, of how your life should be and who you’ll be with and how it will all go down and when it should and who with. She wants whats best for you, but it’s her idea of what would be best for you.

This doesn’t mean that you should bend to it and orchestrate your life based on her idealization of who you should be.

But it does mean that you need to compartmentalize certain aspects of what you do because truthfully she may never accept it sadly.

Meaning keep the seduction aspect of your life away from your family so that you don’t have to deal with these things.

If you’re hanging with your mom, hang with your mom, if you’re trying to get to know a girl, then do that. But i’d keep the two seperate.