How to cure shyness?

[Winston]

Yesterday someone, a new male friend, told me that I was shy, precisely that "I mix up shyness with politeness".
During all my life I have had people call me shy, even since I started pick up.

The girl of this FR told me during our date "it's funny, you are shy... but I like it". I ended up kiss her but not fucking her, so I guess she didn't like that so much.

FR - An eventful 1st date

So let's start with my first FR. I opened this girls in a library, she had her hands full of books and was looking for another one. I looked at the same book shelf next to her, and opened: Excuse me, you seem to know literature well, do you have a book to recommend me? I am looking for an...

www.skilledseducer.com

This is just a few examples from many. It's recurring. Therefore there must be something true in that, I am indeed shy.

How could I work to change that? Is there something specific I can do except to approach more girls?

 

[ulrich]

Make a lot of friends, approach girls, try acting or public speaking, get yourself a job in sales.
Those work like a charm.

 

[Train]

Short-term shyness I've addressed by warming up for a couple of hours in social settings. After warming up, it's easy to ooze out charisma. I believe this is referred to as being "in state" in the PUA community.

Long-term, I think self-reflection on your beliefs and adjusting those could turn something up. I've noticed I'm less typical meek "nice guy" as I've slowly adopted mindsets and beliefs that overrode the nice guy ones.

I use a method of "blurting" to identify what these mindsets can be deep down. I've found it uncovers a lot of stuff I never knew I thought.

For example, I just blurt "I do X because I feel Y." No thought, just pure blurting to avoid rationalizing or changing the answer. Then you can poke holes in those beliefs and replace with others.

Example (not aimed at anyone): "I am overly nice because I feel people would reject me otherwise and I'd feel worthless." Then one would provide evidence to the contrary. 'Well no, this guy isn't overly nice and people respect him."

 

[Skills]

Yesterday someone, a new male friend, told me that I was shy, precisely that "I mix up shyness with politeness".
During all my life I have had people call me shy, even since I started pick up.

The girl of this FR told me during our date "it's funny, you are shy... but I like it". I ended up kiss her but not fucking her, so I guess she didn't like that so much.

FR - An eventful 1st date

So let's start with my first FR. I opened this girls in a library, she had her hands full of books and was looking for another one. I looked at the same book shelf next to her, and opened: Excuse me, you seem to know literature well, do you have a book to recommend me? I am looking for an...

www.skilledseducer.com

This is just a few examples from many. It's recurring. Therefore there must be something true in that, I am indeed shy.

How could I work to change that? Is there something specific I can do except to approach more girls?

I was shy i bought a book called shyness when i was a teen, we are all shy to be honest...... You destroy shyness by doing the newbie drills after you destroy aa, you will not be shy as long as you keep active doing pick up, it may creep back after pick up breaks.... Certain professions such as customer service and sales, will also help getting rid of it....

 

[Will_V]

Yesterday someone, a new male friend, told me that I was shy, precisely that "I mix up shyness with politeness".
During all my life I have had people call me shy, even since I started pick up.

The girl of this FR told me during our date "it's funny, you are shy... but I like it". I ended up kiss her but not fucking her, so I guess she didn't like that so much.

FR - An eventful 1st date

So let's start with my first FR. I opened this girls in a library, she had her hands full of books and was looking for another one. I looked at the same book shelf next to her, and opened: Excuse me, you seem to know literature well, do you have a book to recommend me? I am looking for an...

www.skilledseducer.com

This is just a few examples from many. It's recurring. Therefore there must be something true in that, I am indeed shy.

How could I work to change that? Is there something specific I can do except to approach more girls?

Girls don't make a man shy/polite or not. He becomes that way because it seems to him through his experiences to be the best way to get what he wants in life (or not get what he doesn't want, as the case may be).

If he is perfectly able to get what he wants without being polite, he won't feel any need to be (although he'll probably find that a certain amount always works in his favor).

You train yourself out of shyness and politeness by training your will and exercising it on everything toward a clear objective. A man's will is his greatest tool and what everyone fears the most. Society fears a man's will and tries to weaken it, women and men alike fear (and respect) an unstoppable will. It is an engine of creativity or destruction. It can spring up an entire civilization or destroy it.

The problem is, many men fear and hate their own will, because they aren't really in control of themselves. They're emotional, fragmented, in the habit of living in comfortable illusions that mask unpleasant parts of their internal reality. They hate their will because most of the time, it doesn't do what they want it to. And they fear it because sometimes, it comes out with stuff they don't know how to understand, rationalize, or control. It's like a wild but lazy horse. They spend seven eighths of the day whipping it and cursing it, and the rest of the time hiding in the barn while it tears the paddock apart.

The best way to get control of the horse is to exercise it, first by giving it things to do that it's already mostly inclined to, and slowly exercising it every day on things that it has more and more resistance to, rewarding it modestly each time, until it will calmly walk over, not even flinch when you climb into the saddle, and go wherever you want to go.

When you've got a horse like that, you don't feel the need to be polite and shy, because you are not afraid that someone will intimidate your horse, and make it go and lie down, or tear up the paddock, or throw you over a cliff. It will just stand there, immovable, loyal only to you, waiting for your command - attracting admiration from all corners.

 

[Rakehell]

Depends on what you’re shy about. Some people shy away on stage, some get shy when around girls, some get shy when they’re complimented.

It all points to some insecurity you may or may not have about being judged negatively.

As a kid I was probably the furthest thing from shy. But as life goes on you experience stuff that makes you shell off. Once you understand why you’ve shelled off in certain situations you can work to overcome that.

You do it by acknowledging the feeling and doing the thing anyway. Don’t think Do.