How to deal with splitting date expenses when it’s super cheap like coffee?

[KJ Francis]

How do you guys deal with paying for dates when it’s really cheap like coffee? Say it’s a situation where you order at a takeout counter and she’s still deciding on a order. So I choose my $4 beverage. Do you go ahead and pay for yourself then leave her to it? Plus the barista will be assuming it’s going together. The whole thing feels awkward and a lot different than getting a larger lunch bill at the table where you can suggest splitting it, giving her some cash and having her pay the whole thing with card, etc.

I find if I lead the girl in front of me a bit so she orders first, she’ll often end up paying for me since she’s there standing at the counter while I’m a foot away or so.

It just seems if you’re dealing in small dollar values, it seems like it almost shines too much or a light on how adamant you are about bill splitting. And on a first date I don’t want to say something like I’ll get you next time, etc.

Does anyone have a process to follow that can make it a little more seamless? I want to avoid both provider-signalling and forcing some awkward anti-provider frame.

Maybe I’m overthinking it, but this seems like something that will be present in almost every first date I’ll ever have. I don’t drink, so there’s no “next round”. It’s just a $10 total bill between two people.

 

[ulrich]

If money isn’t a problem, I’d say just pay it.

Not paying for these kind of things always bring you shit tests.
I’d rather have my dates going smooth unless we are talking significant amounts of money.

 

[Michael]

Ya I think for cheap stuff where the money doesn't really matter, you should just act like it's no big deal. If she pays then great, she's investing! Just smile and say thanks. If you end up paying but act like it's no big deal, that's fine too. Probably the worst option here is to make a big deal out of paying $5.

I do like the idea of letting her go first though if you notice she's more likely to pay that way - think I'm gonna try that out and see how often that happens.

 

[KJ Francis]

Thanks guys. It sounds like the lesser of evils, path of least resistance, etc. I’ll stick to walks in the park as much as possible haha

 

[leadingbealwaysido]

Depends where you are... In south america and asia, you pay. In south europe you pay, in north europe you split. In USA and canada... I guess you do what is natural... maybe even try to get her to pay "hey, mind getting this one for me". as she will increase investment and then you can save yourself if you sense the need for it by saying "il get the next one".

Just some thoughts for ya.

 

[FunGuy]

I'm not sure what your financial situation is like, but if your budget is tight then you should place restrictions on your dating life. For instance, only go on dates once a month and only spend x amount of money on that date. In other words, only go on dates when you know you have enough money to pay for the entire date, its not a good look fumbling/stressing out over a $4 coffee on a date.

 

[leadingbealwaysido]

I'm not sure what your financial situation is like, but if your budget is tight then you should place restrictions on your dating life. For instance, only go on dates once a month and only spend x amount of money on that date. In other words, only go on dates when you know you have enough money to pay for the entire date, its not a good look fumbling/stressing out over a $4 coffee on a date.

Do not restrict your dating life because of money... Just be smarter and take it as a challenge to develop better game...

Just do not live at home with your parents hahaha