How to deal with the age question

[alexlaguma]

Yes boys.

I am sure this one has been done to death ... but I'm interested in hearing your thoughts.

For some of the older gents, how do you handle the age question?

I'm in my mid 30s, and for whatever reason most of the girls I'm picking up recently seem to be early to mid 20s. Its not deliberate, that just seems to be the way its working recently.

So anyway, I've had 2 girls recently where I can tell they've been into me and then when they realise I'm over 10 years older than them ... they kinda look disappointed and realise I'm probably not gunna be the perfect boyfriend that they can introduce to their parents (I look a lot younger than I am, most people would say I'm late 20s/30).

So my question is ... how do I deal with the age question? What should my 'frame' be. So far I've just been straight up honest ... but I feel like its lost me a couple girls who I would've been keen to sleep with. I actually think there are two questions here -

1. How should I deal with the age question with girls that I am just looking to sleep with?
2. How should I deal with the age question with girls where there might be potential for something longer term?

I'm guessing the answer is honesty on both counts ... but how about framing it?

Cheers boys

 

[Licker]

Thread 'STICKIED: Simple Technique for Age Gaps: Younger or Older (Daygame/Nightgame/Social Circle)' https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...-older-daygame-nightgame-social-circle.28534/

Tactics Tuesdays: When Girls Say You're Too Old

When a girl tells you you’re too old for her, she can really mean it… or it might be a test. How you respond depends on how firm her age gap objection is. A forum member shared a conversation recently with a girl he met at a party, vibed well with, and took a phone number from… who then...

www.girlschase.com

DAFS!
Haha, I always wanted to say that.

 

[Dreamer]

In addition to the thread listed above, this topic was also previously discussed over here . Worth a read.

-Dreamer

 

[alexlaguma]

Cheers boys!! and sorry for being lazy ...

I read the thread that Freakster linked .... thank you for sharing, the advice in there is GOLDEN.

I'm defo going to use the disqualification line. Love that.

 

[alexlaguma]

In addition to the thread listed above, this topic was also previously discussed over here . Worth a read.

-Dreamer

Thank you ... will have a read !! I love @DoWhatWorks posts ... I am on an absolute roll at the moment and a lot of it has come from reading his stuff

 

[Red]

The world is going to judge them for sleeping with you. They'll say they have "Daddy issues", or that you groomed her. You need to let her know that it's actually totally normal, that you accept her, think she has something to offer you as a person, and that you are discrete.


Though 10 years is not a big age gap at all. A woman should probably marry a man that much older for a whole host of reasons. Money, maturity, etc.

 

[JT Sunshine]

Also in my mid 30s, typically approaching girls in their 20s. My last girlfriend was 24 and found the age gap incredibly hot. Also, her mom loved me because I got all the older movie references she made

I had a dumb limiting belief that I was "too old" for a while, but managed to bury that. Just think about yourself now versus when you were 22 - you probably have SO much more to offer. You're wiser, more interesting, more experienced sexually. Keep your energy levels high and don't dress like an old man (sounds like you don't) and you'll be golden.

I don't bring up my age unless they ask, but I answer honestly when they inevitably do - then immediately ask hers so she doesn't linger.

Her: "how old are you?
Me: "33, and you?"
Her: "22"
Me: "22 is like the best age ever, that's f*cking awesome!"

Then talk about something else fun and proceed as normal. Rarely ever had them bring it up again. If they did, adopt the frame of "don't worry, I don't think *you're* too young for me. You seem so intelligent and fun. Like you don't judge people, but don't apologize for going for what you want. Are you that type of person?"

 

[Lobo]

why cant you just lie?

her:"so how old are you?"
you:"I'm 27, how about you?"

she doesn't know you. you can literally be anyone as long as you hold your frame.

and then later after youve already banged you can tell her the truth if you want.

just hold your frame. i mean even you said you look young for your age so whats stopping you from just lying?

 

[alexlaguma]

why cant you just lie?

her:"so how old are you?"
you:"I'm 27, how about you?"

she doesn't know you. you can literally be anyone as long as you hold your frame.

and then later after youve already banged you can tell her the truth if you want.

just hold your frame. i mean even you said you look young for your age so whats stopping you from just lying?

Morals bro. I don't judge anyone so I won't say you personally shouldn't do that, but for me I'm not comfortable with lying to get someone into bed. Plus I don't think I have to. Although i do think it would be easier to do that lol.

@JT Sunshine Thank you bro ... solid advice. I actually had a date last night where I did the complete opposite and I'm pretty sure that was the moment I blew it. I've usually got a very solid success rate on dates, I'd say 9 out of 10 times I'm at least kissing them, usually progressing to more. But last night was WEIRD. I number closed a girl during day game last week, set up a date for last night. Setting up the date was dead easy. We met, were having a good date, and then the age thing came up and the energy was never the same. I think to your point my frame was all wrong ... I had it in my head that it was a big deal for me, and therefore that came across in the interaction and she could feel my uneasiness at the age gap. Maybe I need to do some inner work on making myself more comfortable with it. The interaction went something like ...

Me: so how old are you?
Her: I'm 23
Me: Oh wow, I thought you were a bit older than that (note - lol wtf was I thinking saying that haha)
Her: Oh really - how old are you then?
Me: xx
Her: Oh Ok ... I thought you were a bit younger than that

A bit more chat and then she said ...
Her: Its fine .. I can see by your expression its shocked you a bit

And then basically the date died after that. I asked if she wanted another drink and she said nah I've gotta be up early tomorrow, better go. Lol that shit never happens to me, I was actually quite taken aback. Fuck it ... I obviously blew it with my frame on the age discussion because I felt uncomfortable with it. If I feel uncomfortable obviously that doesn't communicate the right things to her.

So yeh I gotta work on that ... fuck it next time I'll nail it properly.

 

[Lobo]

curious, on a scale of 1-10, how bad of a person are you if you lie about your age. 1- you're a saint, 5- you're a criminal, 10- you've commited genocide

and on the inverse of that, how good of a person are you, if you get through this roadblock, and give her an incredible experience she otherwise wouldn't have.

if you're worried about confessing after the fact, there's a frame for that.

post-sex

"hey babe, you know how earlier you asked me how old i was, and I said i was 27?"

her: "yea"

you: "well i'm actually 36... and the reason I lied is because age has a funny way of arbitrarily changing how you look at someone, and I didn't want you to look at me and see how many years I've been on this planet, I wanted you to look at me for who I really am behind all the nonsense like someone's age. Have you ever been judged over something you can't control?"

I'm 22, so I actually have the inverse problem. I started seduction when I was 19, so it was even worse then - if I ever said my real age it was literally game over 9/10 times. So, I would just, build the connection without that number getting in the way, then get the lay, and tell the truth and at that point, provided that you've built a connection, and that you fucked her well, she usually doesn't care.

 

[Tony D]

Young chicks are my specialty. The trick is to look young. Then nobody cares. If you look old, then it really matters.

 

[Tony D]

I should also say, it's your job to lead. If you care, she cares. When she brings up age, just say your age with absolutely no shame. Say it PROUD. Then carry on as if the question never even existed. The girl is attracted to you but worries what her parents would think. You have to suck her into the world of forbidden fruit. It's so naughty. It's like having just one puff of the cigarrette. Of course you won't get addicted. Nobody will know.

 

[JT Sunshine]

You sure will! Having that “I’m too old” frame definitely messed up some of my interactions early on. Now I just own it, then keep the conversation moving as if it was as important as her asking my favorite flavor of ice cream or something.

 

[alexlaguma]

Thank you boys - respect and appreciate the advice.

I think the key is for me to own it, as you say @JT Sunshine

I fcked up yesterday but that will not happen again haha.

And @Lobo ... haha I wouldn't like to put a number on it. Its not a big deal really. BUT I would say it is less of an issue from your perspective (ie; lying to appear older). I think that's pretty normal and I'm pretty sure I did it when I was your age occasionally. The other way around has more negative connotations in my opinion, because there is the element of 'taking advantage' of someone on false pretences, and when you are older the power balance is in your favour anyway. So its just not something I'd feel 100% comfortable with. I do appreciate your advice though on the frame control, and for what its worth I think if you had fcked her right then yeh that would work.

 

[TomInHo]

Honestly… just lie

I’m in my mid 30s but get mistaken to be my 20s sometimes

So if a girl believes I’m younger than I really am I just let her enjoy that fantasy. She can find out the truth later when we are more invested in each other

We like to pretend women don’t care about age but that’s pure BS!

In fact on my dating profiles I have two different accounts with different ages. One were I’m in my mid 20s and another in my 30s. Take a guess which profile gets more engagement from younger girls?

If you don’t want to lie I totally understand. But you do have to accept that some women will reject you solely on your age. And no amount of frame control or confidence you have in yourself will change that fact

But on the plus side there are some women that do like older men, so if you want to go the honest route you can solely focus on them

And IMO as a man you should never be bringing up age in the first place. Just vibe and if she brings it up can address it or just lie and fuck

 

[gameboy]

Honestly… just lie