Date Plans How to escalate if she directly comes to your home

[empath]

How to escalate with a girl if we have talked online and she comes directly to home.

Even if she is dtf, some basic conversation is required.

Question is how to close distance when she is sitting on my bed but we are a bit further.

I do basic tour of house and then have her sit in my room. (I share flat with 6 people and they AFCs, always afraid they will sabotage my seduction)


Basically I need a simple routine for fast kiss close, in 10-15 minutes after she is in my room

Alternatively I can have her in a cafe and then bring her my home but I don't have a cafe near my place 30-45 mins

And these girls have curfew so asking them to directly come home makes sense.

 

[empath]

One idea I have is to seed a massage over text, so physical escalation becomes easy.

 

[barneystin]

Basically I need a simple routine for fast kiss close, in 10-15 minutes after she is in my room

I haven't been in this situation before so I can't say how effective my solution is but this is how I would tackle the situation:

I'm going to assume you met this girl on a dating app. Since you're low on time, you probably want to break the touch barrier as early as possible albeit at a pace that she's comfortable with. I suggest meeting with her somewhere about a 10-minute walk from your place. A short date at a cafe/park/casual date spot before pulling home would be ideal but it doesn't seem like you have that option. So just meet her at a public place that's a 10-15 minute walk away from your place and give her a hug when you first meet up (if she's open to coming to your place on the first date, she's most likely open to a hug greeting).

On the walk to your place, you can talk, grab a light snack, etc This will help her get comfortable with being around you in-person. Changing locations with a person also helps to build familiarity and trust. You can start conversation based on your previous online communication or just compliment her outfit and ask her how the journey to your place was. If you find anything interesting about her in person (it should be positive), tell her that.

When you get to your place, show her around, get her some water, make sure she's comfortable. To close the gap, just offer a seat on the bed and sit closer to her. Alternatively, you can go to the bathroom after she's seated and sit right by her when you get back.

If she's coming directly to your place, my guess is she's dtf but this might not always be true. Use subtle, short touches on her upper back, lower back, thigh (if you guys are sitting) to gauge how dtf she is. Also non-verbals will be key here, I imagine. Maintain strong eye contact, smile to make her comfortable and if you get the vibe that she's comfortable, go for the kiss and move from there. DO NOT blindly persist if she rejects the kiss. Not every rejection is the same, pay attention to her reaction and use that to plan your next steps. Given this set-up, it's probably a comfort issue so I would probably focus on that

I personally don't recommend trying to close in 10-15 minutes after she just got to your place since there wasn't a prior date. Even if she's logically dtf, i think most girls would like to feel a little bit more comfortable and that's not enough time in my opinion.

 

[KJ Francis]

if you have given her a few minutes of conversation to relax in the environment, you just lean over and kiss her dude. she's in your room on your bed alone with you and waiting for you to do it.

if you are too far to lean over and reach her lips but don't want to risk negative compliance of asking her to scoot over to you, and if it's going to feel awkward for you to scoot over to her, then you just get up off the bed with whatever excuse like to pick up your drink of water you left on you desk.

then return to the bed and sit closer to her. then put your thumb on her cheek and turn her head toward you, and lightly plant a soft wet one on her.

 

[orkie123]

If she comes straight to yours from an app/online, then you need to build comfort, trust, and sexual tension pretty quickly. If she senses anxiousness, she may lose interest and then it's almost impossible to recover.

Starting with a quick tour - guide her with your hand on her back. Can also say "hey let me show you something cool" and grab her hand slowly without much pressure, just for a few seconds as you lead her to it (probably something in your room).

For building comfort and trust, you ask some basic questions, deep dive a little, and make cold reads. In between speaking, hold eye contact longer then she does. Make it almost weird a few times. Don't be the first person to end eye contact. Also do the triangle gaze (eye, lips, eye). She may giggle or say what? Act like it's normal and that you are just reading her soul or other cheesy line.

Within 10, maximum 15 minutes you want to go for the kiss. No excuses. Even if you think it's going a bit awkward. Do it, then be the first to pull back, and start speaking about normal things again. Repeat, 1-2 times, each time getting a little bit more handsy.

If she likes it and there is no resistance, proceed to taking clothes off and sealing the deal. If there is resistance, act cool and friendly about it, build a bit more comfort and deep diving/ fun casual topics and then try again.

 

[empath]

One idea I have is to seed a massage over text, so physical escalation becomes easy.

This worked for me.

I seeded massage over text.

Kept my messages flirty. (Screening for DTF)

Then when I met her walking I said her shoulders are stiff, there might be knot (look into chinese meditation and shoulder knot, if anyone wanna know what I am talking about)

When she was in my room.

I made sure to sit next to her and go for massage in 5 mins.

Then removed her top.(Its coming in way)

Then bra.

Kiss on neck and rest is history.