- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 374
I would like to raise an inner game issue I've discovered in myself and ask for opinions on the best way to deal with it. The general idea is that the more I am attracted to a girl, the less I feel she will be attracted to me. To expand on that, I may be attracted to a number of women I see and meet, but there are certain ones that really make me feel instantly "wow, this girl yes!". It doesn't happen very often, but it does from time to time, and I have a feeling it is connected to the "love at first sight" idea Chase explains in certain articles. The problem is that the next thought that comes to my mind after this initial "wow" is usually a self-defeating "why do I have to experience this again and not get together with such a girl" or a quite needy "I really hope she's also attracted to me". It's not always equally strong, it's worse in social circle situations in fact where I may even try to avoid the girl completely, while in cold approach, I may go open, but will be ready for rejection subconsciously, and won't take risks screwing myself up. The one field report I have written in the forums was for such a girl.
The most twisted thing regarding all this is that later I often find evidence that at least some of the girls I felt like that and never made moves on, did like me! So it's not even that they are truly never attracted to me, and I logically understand that since I feel so primally attracted to them, they will also probably feel something back. However emotionally I can't convince myself. And although I feel that technically I should approach these girls like any others, the fear of my desire overwhelming them and making me look needy and try-hard, often drives me to act more aloof, which looks like I'm uninterested at best, or fake at worst.
For a while I thought it's just of matter of getting with higher caliber women again and again until you get used to the types you like a lot and you can have normal interactions without caring if they like you. But I feel that you will always meet some women that you want a fair bit more than others. So what should my mindset be when I meet a "wow" or "love at first sight" girl that I clearly want and care about the outcome, in order to approach and seduce her effectively, and are there ways to cultivate helpful mindsets in situations like that? I would assume that the technical aspect of the seduction would go similarly to the interactions with any other kinds of girls if these mental blocks are shattered, that said any type of technical insight is always more than welcome.
The most twisted thing regarding all this is that later I often find evidence that at least some of the girls I felt like that and never made moves on, did like me! So it's not even that they are truly never attracted to me, and I logically understand that since I feel so primally attracted to them, they will also probably feel something back. However emotionally I can't convince myself. And although I feel that technically I should approach these girls like any others, the fear of my desire overwhelming them and making me look needy and try-hard, often drives me to act more aloof, which looks like I'm uninterested at best, or fake at worst.
For a while I thought it's just of matter of getting with higher caliber women again and again until you get used to the types you like a lot and you can have normal interactions without caring if they like you. But I feel that you will always meet some women that you want a fair bit more than others. So what should my mindset be when I meet a "wow" or "love at first sight" girl that I clearly want and care about the outcome, in order to approach and seduce her effectively, and are there ways to cultivate helpful mindsets in situations like that? I would assume that the technical aspect of the seduction would go similarly to the interactions with any other kinds of girls if these mental blocks are shattered, that said any type of technical insight is always more than welcome.