How to follow up terrible performance?

[weekendwarrior]

Hi Guys,

I completely failed as a man, I met a chick 3 weeks ago in a club and got a SNL. I performed incredibly well in the bedroom and ploughed her for over an hour, she came countless times and she seemed incredibly interested in me. It took some time to arrange a follow-up date and after 2 weeks I thought it wasn't going to happen. After 3 weeks we surprisingly met up again.

I dropped her off after our SNL, she doesn't drive and lives about a 25-minute drive away, so I decided to pick her up. This meant we had half an hour in the car before the date started, already this was going to be a long one. For the most part it went well and including the car journey I got her home in 90 minutes. This is where everything went south.

I got locked out of my house, I had to climb a fence to go to the back where the back door was also locked, and I had to phone my parents to get in. They didn't have their phones with them, and I had to phone the house phone. Instead of coming back to a house with everyone sleeping to bring this chick back, everyone was now awake. For a man in his early thirties with an 18-year-old chick this was embarrassing.

This thrown me more than it should, and my night went from bad to worse. I done some good foreplay, I was really hard and ready to go but I struggled to get it in, I tried but after a couple failed attempts, I wasn't hard anymore. I continued with the foreplay and got hard again, I managed to get in straight away this time and quickly went for adapted missionary trying to repeat my previous performance and I went soft within a few minutes. I was totally in my own head at this point and couldn't get it back up.

I've read the articles that a chick lying in bed naked will give you time, she wants sex. However, she then added a time constraint saying she had to be home because she had work in the morning. This was a death sentence for my member and my lacklustre performance.

I had to then drive her home, another half an hour in a car together. This was extremely awkward, and I cursed myself the entire way home. She's never going to want to see me again after such an impotent performance.

I was going to wait a few days to hope she forgets but she messaged this morning saying she had a good time, and it was nice meeting me. I don't even know how I can recover from this. I will reply saying I had a good time meeting her, but honestly, I'm disgusted with myself.

Warrior

 

[HoofHearted]

Whoa whoa whoa buddy easy there.

A bad sexual performance doesn't make you less of a man. Thank god that isn't the threshold yeesh.

We're in the same age group, so I want to say this to you, respectfully, equally, and as peers. But you have my permission to stop fucking teenagers and move out of your parents house. Spend every waking minute trying to move out of your parents house.

How can a foible with an 18yo girl upset you and make you question your masculinity? But livin' with mama don't?

The chick may or may not want to see you again, who knows? Who cares? She's 18, what she think doesn't matter, I imagine the inside of her mind looks like Instagram and Cosmopolitan magazine. Nothin' manlier than going and gettin' another one, but really there's nothing manlier than providing yourself food and shelter fuck go do that.

 

[reeax]

Well written, had a nice laugh reading your post If you want another shot with this girl and you feel uncomfortable, maybe you can simply tell her that the whole get-into-the-house adventure worked your nerves, and you were no more in the mood for sex that night... However, you think she's crazy hot (so she won't auto-reject) and you can't wait to meet her again

 

[weekendwarrior]

Guys, I've realized I was rejecting myself, this chick hadn't rejected me (yet). However, her messages went from "hope to see you soon" to "it was nice meeting you", triple messages and quick replies to no reply in two days, maybe she feels that it's her fault? I thought I'd follow up and ping her to gage her interest. No reply in over 24 hours, I feel like a failure and I wish I didn't bother. Lesson learned.

Thanks @reeax if she ever replies I'll try it. Maybe she's making me wait cause it took me 14 hours to respond to her message.

@HoofHearted one bad performance isn't an issue once she's locked in, but as a "lover" I aim to offer a good time and good sex, I FAILED. On the second meeting, this isn't a great advertisement and if a failed escalation usually signals game over, this was a failure and I'm pathetic.

Livin' with mama bothers me, I've been working on it solidly, I've been working 60-hour weeks and it's still a pipe dream. The mortgage options available to me in my local area are significantly under the cost of a property. Renting costs half of my salary, the bills and my car would cripple me financially. I'm grafting hard working towards it, but I need to save an entire years salary on top of my current savings to make a mortgage a viable option.

My mate on a similar wage rents, he's living on beans on toast and cereal, that's all his budget can stretch to, and he doesn't have a car! He can only afford a night out every few months. Day game isn't an option because of work and lack of chicks, night game now consists of two venues after most have had to close and yet living here is unaffordable. I need to move.

Warrior

 

[Beck Bass]

Livin' with mama bothers me

I need to move.

Do it! My close ratios went way up when I moved (and then I got another girlfriend and it's hard to pull new girls again lmao).
Living by yourself is easier than most people seem to make it, it's just that rent can feel like wasted money for some people.
For me, it's the freedom of shagging whatever girl wants to be shagged when I want to shag them, so that's priceless (not to mention the other benefits of living by yourself, more time to focus on everything, cleaning your home when you feel like it, and so on).

But if you don't move, consider other options, love hotels (no idea how those work where you live, but there must be some option).