A
Anonymous
Guest
Chase and anyone else who may be able to help,
I really need guidance on help as to how I can get my ex back. My long distance girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I have read the article "How to get your girlfriend back", and it seems like she is a #2, "I'm free!”. I know that is not promising, but I believe that there are clear reasons why she felt our relationship had stalled. So here is the background on our relationship...
The first 2 years of our relationship were amazing. We were young, in high school. But were so madly in love, and planned for the future and talked about our lives together all the time. We were fully committed to one another forever. When it came time to go to college, 2 hours away from each other, there was no debate as to whether we would stay together. We both knew we would stay together forever, and would make anything work. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I know this girl is who I am supposed to be with.
For the first few months of college, we communicated often and she still valued our relationship and kept it up as one of the most important things in her life. But with her sorority, coupled with her extracurriculars, she began to not have as much time to communicate. I felt our relationship moving from the #1 thing in her life, to just another thing. We still never talked about breaking up ever, but things were not the same. For her, our relationship was put on a lower level than her life at her school. I still visited ever few weeks, and things were great, but not the same as they used to be. Eventually, she stopped saying we would be together forever. That was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. But still, no talk of breaking up at all. This summer, we spent all 2 months together. Again, things were good and we were happy, but it just was not the same amazing time it used to be. We had amazing moments, but I knew we still didn’t have that spark we used to. But still, no talk of breakup. And I was still sure that once she changed her priorities, she would put us back where we should be and then things would become like they used to be and we would rediscover that spark.
Once this school year started, we weren’t communicating much, just a call or two a day to say what we did and say we love each other. When I visited 2 weeks ago for us to talk, she ended things. I knew it was coming. She said that things clearly aren’t the same, and she thinks we’ve grown in different ways and that right now we are holding each other back. She says her feelings changed for nothing I did, but that they just naturally did. She became much more religious this past year and she began searching for a sign that we should be together forever but couldn’t find it. We’ve had no getting along problems and no fighting, but for these reasons she ended it. She said she still loves me and still thinks I am an amazing, perfect guy. But she thinks our relationship has naturally changed and that we need to break up, and learn to live without depending on each other. This is not a break, it is a complete breakup.
But I feel like it’s so clear why her feelings changed. Our relationship wasn’t valued, and it was placed below other things in her life. I went from being her everything, to just another thing. We never did long distance the right way, and put in the work required. And her feelings changed because of it. I don’t know what I can do now to get her back.
One other factor that could have played a role is her changing to a new birth control. One year ago before we went to college, she started a new birth control. The side effects were immediate and noticed by both of us. Her libido changed noticeably. She no longer had the passion and yearning for me that she used to. Because we weren’t long distance yet, and were together 24/7, we overlooked these changes because we had so much else to connect on. But I think this is a huge issue when we are long distance, because she isn’t yearning for me or feeling that passion. The spark hasn’t been there for a year. And I really think that the birth control played at least a small role in it. Of course I haven’t told her about the birth control thing right now, because I think if I mention that I will come across as desperate and crazy. I want to let her know about it but I don’t know how I should. How can I do this?
It’s been two weeks since we’ve broken up, and we have had no contact. I’m really trying to give her space. But it is hard because in her situation, her entire sorority is helping her move on. I know they are taking her out partying and just want her to be happy. Furthermore, she said we should block each other on all social media, so we can move on. So she’s put me out of site and out of mind. The problem with giving her space is that I’m afraid that because she is pushing me out of her mind and sight, that she will move on at a much faster rate because we are long distance. I want to give her time to reflect, but given her situation I think she will move on fast. I think our long distance relationship has become a burden with all else she has going on, and now she feels as though she is free. She won’t chase me. She’s too stubborn to say she was wrong and I’ve been put out of her mind. She’s forcing herself to move on. I want her to take this time to reflect, but not to force herself to move on and do things that could jeopardize our future together.
I’m also asking myself, does she remember our relationship as what it used to be, how amazing it was, or how its been recently? Because any relationship would be more exciting then what ours has been lately, because we’ve been long distance she hasn't valued our relationship like she should.
Her family and friends in college love me, but they want her to be happy more than anything. I know that if she just places our relationship at the same place I put ours, that we will be able to get back to where we used to be. Because nothing has changed other than where she put our relationship. She still loves me and still said I’m the perfect guy. But she thinks the spark is just not there for no reason; that it happened naturally.
Again, it has been two weeks since we broke up, and I haven’t contacted her. She will definitely not contact me. The next time we will be in the same city will be in over a month, for thanksgiving. I want to reach out to her now and tell her some of these things but I don’t want to be pushed further away. Again, I’m scared to just give her more space because of her situation forcing her to move on.
Ultimately, I am just so lost and I don’t know what I can do to get her back. I also don't know how to handle the birth control thing. I’ve been focusing on school and working out, but just moving on from her is not something I can or want to do. I wanted to send her a text now letting her know that I hope to talk to her in a month or so, and saying that I hope she’s taking the time to reflect on our relationship and not just blocking me out and trying to move on so fast. But again, I have no idea what to do. I want to give her space but she could move on soon if I don’t let her know some of these things.
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
-Josh
I really need guidance on help as to how I can get my ex back. My long distance girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I have read the article "How to get your girlfriend back", and it seems like she is a #2, "I'm free!”. I know that is not promising, but I believe that there are clear reasons why she felt our relationship had stalled. So here is the background on our relationship...
The first 2 years of our relationship were amazing. We were young, in high school. But were so madly in love, and planned for the future and talked about our lives together all the time. We were fully committed to one another forever. When it came time to go to college, 2 hours away from each other, there was no debate as to whether we would stay together. We both knew we would stay together forever, and would make anything work. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I know this girl is who I am supposed to be with.
For the first few months of college, we communicated often and she still valued our relationship and kept it up as one of the most important things in her life. But with her sorority, coupled with her extracurriculars, she began to not have as much time to communicate. I felt our relationship moving from the #1 thing in her life, to just another thing. We still never talked about breaking up ever, but things were not the same. For her, our relationship was put on a lower level than her life at her school. I still visited ever few weeks, and things were great, but not the same as they used to be. Eventually, she stopped saying we would be together forever. That was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. But still, no talk of breaking up at all. This summer, we spent all 2 months together. Again, things were good and we were happy, but it just was not the same amazing time it used to be. We had amazing moments, but I knew we still didn’t have that spark we used to. But still, no talk of breakup. And I was still sure that once she changed her priorities, she would put us back where we should be and then things would become like they used to be and we would rediscover that spark.
Once this school year started, we weren’t communicating much, just a call or two a day to say what we did and say we love each other. When I visited 2 weeks ago for us to talk, she ended things. I knew it was coming. She said that things clearly aren’t the same, and she thinks we’ve grown in different ways and that right now we are holding each other back. She says her feelings changed for nothing I did, but that they just naturally did. She became much more religious this past year and she began searching for a sign that we should be together forever but couldn’t find it. We’ve had no getting along problems and no fighting, but for these reasons she ended it. She said she still loves me and still thinks I am an amazing, perfect guy. But she thinks our relationship has naturally changed and that we need to break up, and learn to live without depending on each other. This is not a break, it is a complete breakup.
But I feel like it’s so clear why her feelings changed. Our relationship wasn’t valued, and it was placed below other things in her life. I went from being her everything, to just another thing. We never did long distance the right way, and put in the work required. And her feelings changed because of it. I don’t know what I can do now to get her back.
One other factor that could have played a role is her changing to a new birth control. One year ago before we went to college, she started a new birth control. The side effects were immediate and noticed by both of us. Her libido changed noticeably. She no longer had the passion and yearning for me that she used to. Because we weren’t long distance yet, and were together 24/7, we overlooked these changes because we had so much else to connect on. But I think this is a huge issue when we are long distance, because she isn’t yearning for me or feeling that passion. The spark hasn’t been there for a year. And I really think that the birth control played at least a small role in it. Of course I haven’t told her about the birth control thing right now, because I think if I mention that I will come across as desperate and crazy. I want to let her know about it but I don’t know how I should. How can I do this?
It’s been two weeks since we’ve broken up, and we have had no contact. I’m really trying to give her space. But it is hard because in her situation, her entire sorority is helping her move on. I know they are taking her out partying and just want her to be happy. Furthermore, she said we should block each other on all social media, so we can move on. So she’s put me out of site and out of mind. The problem with giving her space is that I’m afraid that because she is pushing me out of her mind and sight, that she will move on at a much faster rate because we are long distance. I want to give her time to reflect, but given her situation I think she will move on fast. I think our long distance relationship has become a burden with all else she has going on, and now she feels as though she is free. She won’t chase me. She’s too stubborn to say she was wrong and I’ve been put out of her mind. She’s forcing herself to move on. I want her to take this time to reflect, but not to force herself to move on and do things that could jeopardize our future together.
I’m also asking myself, does she remember our relationship as what it used to be, how amazing it was, or how its been recently? Because any relationship would be more exciting then what ours has been lately, because we’ve been long distance she hasn't valued our relationship like she should.
Her family and friends in college love me, but they want her to be happy more than anything. I know that if she just places our relationship at the same place I put ours, that we will be able to get back to where we used to be. Because nothing has changed other than where she put our relationship. She still loves me and still said I’m the perfect guy. But she thinks the spark is just not there for no reason; that it happened naturally.
Again, it has been two weeks since we broke up, and I haven’t contacted her. She will definitely not contact me. The next time we will be in the same city will be in over a month, for thanksgiving. I want to reach out to her now and tell her some of these things but I don’t want to be pushed further away. Again, I’m scared to just give her more space because of her situation forcing her to move on.
Ultimately, I am just so lost and I don’t know what I can do to get her back. I also don't know how to handle the birth control thing. I’ve been focusing on school and working out, but just moving on from her is not something I can or want to do. I wanted to send her a text now letting her know that I hope to talk to her in a month or so, and saying that I hope she’s taking the time to reflect on our relationship and not just blocking me out and trying to move on so fast. But again, I have no idea what to do. I want to give her space but she could move on soon if I don’t let her know some of these things.
Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.
-Josh
