How to isolate a shy girl from a group with a dominant woman who cannot stop talking?

[Zertifizierungsverfahren]

Whenever I join group activities, there's always this one woman who ends up controlling the conversation. Let's call her Diana. The issue is, I'm not interested in Diana, but she talks so much that I almost can't get a word in and she treats this like a job interview. It gets worse – even if I stop talking, she keeps going and asks me questions that turn increasingly hostile the less I engage.

This whole situation makes me seem like the unfriendly one, even to the woman I actually like, let's call her Tina. Tina seems too shy or even intimidated by Diana to talk to me.

I want to talk to Tina, but Diana's dominance makes it impossible. My attempts to get Tina talking either get interrupted by Diana or fall flat because Tina seems unsure of herself and has little to say.

Focusing on entertaining the whole group only works for a short time. In the end, I need a way to connect with the woman I'm interested in. It's important to note that we're all just sitting down while this happens. This has happened multiple times before, at the beach, the lake, and even a festival.

Do you have any ideas on how I can break this cycle and talk to Tina?

 

[Chase]

Sounds like you need to grab a few other friends and bring them along. Sic a few of them on Diana to keep her occupied while you chat up Tina. Groups a single person can monopolize basically have to be small and constrained, so if you want to disrupt that, you need to make things more chaotic: more people, more mixing (standing up instead of sitting down), louder music, alcohol, etc.

If that's not practical because this is a study group, change the scene. Invite the whole study group out for drinks at the bar or to a house party. Diana will have a lot more trouble watching everyone like a hawk, policing everyone, and keeping her thumb on everything when she and everyone else has a bit of booze in the system and people are all drifting off in different directions!

-C

 

[Zertifizierungsverfahren]

Sounds like you need to grab a few other friends and bring them along. Sic a few of them on Diana to keep her occupied while you chat up Tina. Groups a single person can monopolize basically have to be small and constrained, so if you want to disrupt that, you need to make things more chaotic: more people, more mixing (standing up instead of sitting down), louder music, alcohol, etc.

If that's not practical because this is a study group, change the scene. Invite the whole study group out for drinks at the bar or to a house party. Diana will have a lot more trouble watching everyone like a hawk, policing everyone, and keeping her thumb on everything when she and everyone else has a bit of booze in the system and people are all drifting off in different directions!

-C

So Diana actually did have some booze while being there. I see it like this: Diana knows exactly that I want Tina, she knows Tina, she knows if she does not put Tina under constant surveillance, she will end up with me. So Tina was listening to Diana and me interact and she also enjoyed listening when "driving shotgun" ie not having to do anything for the conversation but still being entertained. So I ended up pumping the buying temperature of both and Diana didn't like that, which is why it became hostile as in "if I cannot get Zertifizierungsverfahren, Tina also won't". Adding insult to injury, Tina and Diana live in the same flatshare.

 

[Chase]

Well, in a case like this, you need to neutralize Diana since she is cockblocking.

Easiest way is to offer to hook her up with a buddy of yours. e.g., "Hey, Diana, I've been thinking. You're single, right? I've got this friend Joe who'd be PERFECT for you. Super cool guy, blah blah [some details selling her on Joe]. I think you two would get on super, super well. Think I can introduce you two?"

Whether she accepts or not, the communication is a.) you aren't trying to get her at all and aren't interested in her personally or else you wouldn't be offering to fix her up with someone else, meanwhile b.) you like her as a person and are happy to provide social value / connections / hookups to her, so are socially valuable.

You should notice her back off a bit at that point. If she doesn't, you still get some relative impunity to then ask Tina out without making it seem like Diana's being unfairly left out of the romance game.

Only thing I'd suggest since this is obviously recurrent social circle is make sure Joe will actually show up for the date and won't be anyone Diana would be insulted at having met, lol. (just ask your Chad buddy who sleeps with everything that moves to jump on a grenade for you, if you have a friend like that... he will be glad to oblige!)

Chase