How to keep attraction for a few months?

[PrettyDecent]

Hey y'all,

There is this girl that I've been dating on and off for a few years. It's a relationship that spikes in attraction for two months or so and then, for whatever reason at the time, all ties are cut off for 6 months or so. She went to college in the States, and I moved out of the country, where I've started pick up (thank god for this website). Anyways, we are in one of those spike-in-attraction moments but, since I'm out of the States, I can't do anything physically sexual with her. We've never had a sexual relationship, but I'd like to try one when I visit in 3 months.

How would I keep her attraction from diving off the deep end in that time span? I deep dived with her over Skype a few weeks ago (probably a mistake, since I don't know how much solid material I'll have to get that rapport again), and I've been keeping the communication levels low since then (I'll respond every 3 messages or so) to try and keep curiosity high.

Any suggestions welcome, and let me know if you need more info.
Jake

 

[Chase]

PD-

I've tried this a few times in the past, usually with poor results. The only women I've had success with were the ones I dialed down to a handful of (very short!) emails exchanged every 6 to 9 months or so. Those girls I met up with later and they were excited and nervous and things went well. The ones I talked with over Skype, etc., ended poorly, because the girls got too used to having me as a buddy online and didn't want to risk losing that by doing something like sex. It's pretty much the only time I've ever been "friend zoned"... provided some great lessons for me. I've watched friends in similar situations have things play out similarly - they were certain that it was totally "on" with some girl because they Skyped so much, had virtual sex, she sent them nude pictures / videos / etc.... and then she came and stayed with them or they stayed with her and the girl wouldn't let anything happen. It can almost feel like a big betrayal - all that time spent, no return (conversely, the girl feels like all that time spent... why risk such a wonderful relationship that's so hard to replace on physical intimacy, which is so common?).

My usual recommendation in these situations is don't call, Skype, or IM. Just keep it to a few emails dashed off here and there, and she'll actually be a lot more excited to see you.

There's a lot less mystery involved when she sees you online every Tuesday for your weekly Skype chat. You become the guy she sees as her "boyfriend she doesn't have sex with," and she ends up getting comfortable with you right where you are.

Keep it simple. Just a few emails... keep her wondering.

Chase

 

[PrettyDecent]

Heya Chase,

Thanks for the advice! I eased out a sigh of relief after reading this post since I was afraid the lack of contact might send her into auto-rejection. I thought that the 3 message ratio was high, but 3 messages total...That idea resonates much better.

Jake