How to kiss (and escalate on) a very shy girl who's hiding her face?

[Hydra™]

Recently lost it with a girl I couldn't escalate on. We were in an empty park at night and she was showing strong signs of interest (holding hands, cuddling up to me, touching me, hitting me)

Girls Hitting You - It's a Sign of LOTS of Interest

But she would not hold any sort of prolonged eye-contact with me, and kept turning away her face laughing, blushing, etc., I know this isn't new because whenever we've talked previously she usually has her hand covering her lips (I teased her asking if she has buck teeth but she said it's her first time being this close to a guy so she's shy).

Anyway, I just straight up asked her if I can kiss her, to which she said no (bad move I know, but seemed worth a shot). Next day I got the "lets just be friends" call (side question: how to handle that the right way? I told her we can't be friends. But we're gonna see each other in university and we also have a project together).

I know she was interested, just very shy and inexperienced. What could I have done better in this situation to successfully escalate to sex?

 

[James D]

Interesting, I've wondered the same thing. I usually go for a soft man-handle kiss.

 

[TomInHo]

I try not to escalate too quickly with these girls unless I'm in a place where we can take things all the way. The reason is, they might want to have sex but are unsure about the pace, and I don't want to start something I can't finish, only to have her regret it later because she felt she went too far.

When we're alone, the first step is to help them feel more comfortable with the environment. That means not jumping on them right away—let them settle in a bit first.

Here's something counterintuitive I've learned: I used to think I needed to get them completely comfortable before making a move when isolated. Turns out, that rarely happens because unresolved sexual tension can keep them feeling anxious.

The best way to ease that tension isn't by endlessly talking about comfort — it's by slowly escalating. With these girls, you need to take it a bit slower than with those who are more confident about their sexuality.

You can start by escalating the vibe first: get closer, make more sexual eye contact, use light touches, and let the conversation drop with more pauses. Then you can begin sexual escalation using a "two steps forward, one step back" approach.

For example, start with a small peck, then pull back and chat for a bit. Then, another slightly longer peck, pull back again, and so on.

Or can use Chase's Man Handle Kiss to break the initial sexual barrier, then proceed like it was no big deal. Like what @James D said

This works well because you pull back before they have a chance to resist, helping them feel comfortable and turned on. After a while, you'll notice them relaxing into the moment and you push the interaction further

To sum it up, with these girls, lead confidently but stay tuned into their comfort levels as you escalate slowly yet quickly

 

[Hydra™]

Interesting, I've wondered the same thing. I usually go for a soft man-handle kiss.

Can you elaborate on how that looks like? The soft part specifically. I don't want it to be forced or "rape-y". And @Chase mentions in that article that it's a very advanced technique. Although just re-reading that article again, I have a pretty good feeling that it would have worked well in that situation. I wish I read it before I went to meet her lol.

The reason is, they might want to have sex but are unsure about the pace, and I don't want to start something I can't finish, only to have her regret it later because she felt she went too far.

Yeah that's the mistake I made. I started the escalation but didn't go all the way. She kept telling me "its too soon" and on the ride back that "we were too close" while still holding my hand.

The best way to ease that tension isn't by endlessly talking about comfort — it's by slowly escalating. With these girls, you need to take it a bit slower than with those who are more confident about their sexuality.

You can start by escalating the vibe first: get closer, make more sexual eye contact, use light touches, and let the conversation drop with more pauses. Then you can begin sexual escalation using a "two steps forward, one step back" approach.

For example, start with a small peck, then pull back and chat for a bit. Then, another slightly longer peck, pull back again, and so on.

Or can use Chase's Man Handle Kiss to break the initial sexual barrier, then proceed like it was no big deal. Like what @James D said

Thanks! Exactly what I needed

 

[empath]

On soft manhandle part, leave her enough space so she can back out from the kiss by moving her head back and it should feel it is coming.

One example I can give is ... I said you need to let go of your self.

Then removed her glasses to say I want to look in your eyes properly or something like this

Then removed her hairband so her hair are open.

Now my hands are already close her face and so is my mouth now leaning in but a slow pace.

Though she did not kissed back and said sorry I need time to feel attraction and I just laughed it off by saying I was showing you what let it go means and then changed the topic and asked her to walk so it don't feel akward.