- Joined
- May 28, 2013
- Messages
- 77
I've been trying to make eye contact with people while walking down the street, but nobody reciprocates! Specifically I'm thinking about solo girls, who mostly keep staring straight ahead when I look at them. My goal is to smile at girls after making eye contact to see if they give an approach invitation, but I'm stuck on the eye contact part. It's got me thinking there might be something wrong with my body language or the way I engage in eye contact.
I haven't seen an article about this topic (maybe it's obvious to most people), so here is me asking the question: what guidelines do you follow when making eye contact on the street? This includes girls but also random people.
I am fairly confident that my fundamentals aren't the weak link here. I get girls occasionally complimenting my fashion when I approach, and not a lot of them blow me off or say they have a boyfriend right away (even if they do). That said, my flirting is weak and I don't have a sexy vibe yet, so maybe they're just not drawn to me?
These girls also aren't giving me dismissive eye contact, they just don't look at me at all. Maybe they're using peripheral vision to look at me?
As for my process, it goes something like this.
1) Don't look directly at the girl until we are about 15 ft. / 5 meters apart. I will look to the side at something else (sometimes with my head pointed away from her) or above her head into the distance.
- I don't know why I do this, I think I just feel uncomfortable staring at her from far away.
- I also want to create the impression I "just noticed" her as she gets close, so I guess that's why I deliberately turn my head away from her. Although I wonder if she interprets this as disinterest?
2) Don't turn my head too much to look at her. I rarely turn my head more than about 30 degrees to make or continue eye contact. If they are too far to the side or get to close for me to comfortably look at them, I don't make eye contact.
- It just feels weird to me to turn so far to keep staring at someone. Feels like I'm putting forth a lot more effort than her?
- Sometimes if a girl isn't within my 30 degree "cone" I will look at girls out of the corner of my eyes rather than turn my head to look at them straight on. It makes me feel like I am sneaking a glance sometimes but for some reason I do it anyways.
3) Look at her eyes and hold for a couple seconds. If she doesn't reciprocate, break eye contact.
- I feel uncomfortable staring at someone when they aren't reciprocating.
What's confusing is sometimes girls will walk past me, not making eye contact when I look at them. Then they'll later turn around and come back to get closer proximity to me. Except me, being a dummy, thinks "Is that an approach invitation? Hmmm...well she totally ignored me when I looked at her. Must be a coincidence."
How do you guys make eye contact and what guidelines do you follow? Do you find that a lot of people reciprocate, some do, very few do? And what kinds of reactions are you expecting?
I haven't seen an article about this topic (maybe it's obvious to most people), so here is me asking the question: what guidelines do you follow when making eye contact on the street? This includes girls but also random people.
I am fairly confident that my fundamentals aren't the weak link here. I get girls occasionally complimenting my fashion when I approach, and not a lot of them blow me off or say they have a boyfriend right away (even if they do). That said, my flirting is weak and I don't have a sexy vibe yet, so maybe they're just not drawn to me?
These girls also aren't giving me dismissive eye contact, they just don't look at me at all. Maybe they're using peripheral vision to look at me?
As for my process, it goes something like this.
1) Don't look directly at the girl until we are about 15 ft. / 5 meters apart. I will look to the side at something else (sometimes with my head pointed away from her) or above her head into the distance.
- I don't know why I do this, I think I just feel uncomfortable staring at her from far away.
- I also want to create the impression I "just noticed" her as she gets close, so I guess that's why I deliberately turn my head away from her. Although I wonder if she interprets this as disinterest?
2) Don't turn my head too much to look at her. I rarely turn my head more than about 30 degrees to make or continue eye contact. If they are too far to the side or get to close for me to comfortably look at them, I don't make eye contact.
- It just feels weird to me to turn so far to keep staring at someone. Feels like I'm putting forth a lot more effort than her?
- Sometimes if a girl isn't within my 30 degree "cone" I will look at girls out of the corner of my eyes rather than turn my head to look at them straight on. It makes me feel like I am sneaking a glance sometimes but for some reason I do it anyways.
3) Look at her eyes and hold for a couple seconds. If she doesn't reciprocate, break eye contact.
- I feel uncomfortable staring at someone when they aren't reciprocating.
What's confusing is sometimes girls will walk past me, not making eye contact when I look at them. Then they'll later turn around and come back to get closer proximity to me. Except me, being a dummy, thinks "Is that an approach invitation? Hmmm...well she totally ignored me when I looked at her. Must be a coincidence."
How do you guys make eye contact and what guidelines do you follow? Do you find that a lot of people reciprocate, some do, very few do? And what kinds of reactions are you expecting?