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How to make eye contact while walking?

TouchGrass

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
May 28, 2013
Messages
77
I've been trying to make eye contact with people while walking down the street, but nobody reciprocates! Specifically I'm thinking about solo girls, who mostly keep staring straight ahead when I look at them. My goal is to smile at girls after making eye contact to see if they give an approach invitation, but I'm stuck on the eye contact part. It's got me thinking there might be something wrong with my body language or the way I engage in eye contact.

I haven't seen an article about this topic (maybe it's obvious to most people), so here is me asking the question: what guidelines do you follow when making eye contact on the street? This includes girls but also random people.

I am fairly confident that my fundamentals aren't the weak link here. I get girls occasionally complimenting my fashion when I approach, and not a lot of them blow me off or say they have a boyfriend right away (even if they do). That said, my flirting is weak and I don't have a sexy vibe yet, so maybe they're just not drawn to me?

These girls also aren't giving me dismissive eye contact, they just don't look at me at all. Maybe they're using peripheral vision to look at me?

As for my process, it goes something like this.

1) Don't look directly at the girl until we are about 15 ft. / 5 meters apart. I will look to the side at something else (sometimes with my head pointed away from her) or above her head into the distance.
- I don't know why I do this, I think I just feel uncomfortable staring at her from far away.
- I also want to create the impression I "just noticed" her as she gets close, so I guess that's why I deliberately turn my head away from her. Although I wonder if she interprets this as disinterest?

2) Don't turn my head too much to look at her. I rarely turn my head more than about 30 degrees to make or continue eye contact. If they are too far to the side or get to close for me to comfortably look at them, I don't make eye contact.
- It just feels weird to me to turn so far to keep staring at someone. Feels like I'm putting forth a lot more effort than her?
- Sometimes if a girl isn't within my 30 degree "cone" I will look at girls out of the corner of my eyes rather than turn my head to look at them straight on. It makes me feel like I am sneaking a glance sometimes but for some reason I do it anyways.

3) Look at her eyes and hold for a couple seconds. If she doesn't reciprocate, break eye contact.
- I feel uncomfortable staring at someone when they aren't reciprocating.

What's confusing is sometimes girls will walk past me, not making eye contact when I look at them. Then they'll later turn around and come back to get closer proximity to me. Except me, being a dummy, thinks "Is that an approach invitation? Hmmm...well she totally ignored me when I looked at her. Must be a coincidence."

How do you guys make eye contact and what guidelines do you follow? Do you find that a lot of people reciprocate, some do, very few do? And what kinds of reactions are you expecting?
 

Conquistador

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 2, 2022
Messages
1,065
General rule I’ve been following sonce pre-seduction days: Make eye contact for max 3 seconds if it isn’t reciprocated. If it is, lock eyes until she looks away first.

The other thing is to habitually make eye contact with everyone. People naturally reciprocate.

About not noticing a girl, don’t sweat it because that doesn’t help. Don’t pretend not to unless you’re intentionally pretending. Obviously it’s best to wait until she’s close enough before making eye contact.
As far as reducing awareness radius (I think there’s a GC article abt that), I habitually spend a lot of time looking at trees etc, being in the moment (altho I do this more when I’m infield – if I’m completely not in game mode then I’ll scan in a relaxed way).
 

leadingbealwaysido

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 10, 2022
Messages
43
I experienced this depends where you are really. In latin america its natural to lock eyes. Not everywhere though, more south its not so normal.
In south europe its more commom than in north europe. This is not just my experience, but studies show this to be true too.

By your process it seems like you are doing the right thing. You are conscious about what is normal behavior etc. I remember I read an article from chase almost 10 years ago that helped me kinda get the eye contact thing. However it took years before I actually got any eye contact. I needed to build my life around my purpose and create a meaningful life by releasing a lot of emotional baggage i had, before i started to have this natural aura that girls would look at. I actually see eye contact more than 1,5 seconds as an approach invitation.

Then what @Chase said helped a lot... girls are way better with peripherial vision than us. And they are sneaky like cats to check you out. They literally have antennas. So what you want to try to do is for her to look at you before you look at her, and then when you see her look at you, hold eye contact until she breaks. Good luck with you sare off sessions on the street haha!

The point is that the presence you carry with you when you live your purpose and are inspired will create an aura that girls find attractive.

Just today I went to the beach, right between two pair of girls. And I was kinda paying attention if they were checking me out, which they were not. I started to do some writing, which is something that really inspires me and I got lost in that space for a while and then I when I happened to look at the girls they were literally staring at me like some accident have happened where I was because they were so intruiged that I just went there and sat down and not paying to much attention to them.

Ended up approaching both pairs of girls and scored two phone numbers.

So again, try to be more in your own presence, stop looking at the girls at all until you feel this urge to look and hold a second or two longer before you actually look. Maybe you need to go out one day with a intention to not look at any women, just look at the horizion and train your peripherial vision. Some times its not possible and your eyes will go to the girl, but usually that is an instict because she is actually looking at you. If you do this correctly, live in the present, inspired, loving state of mind you will start to see some girls are checking you out. And that is an approach invitation in my world. It helps tremendously in daygame.

Read my post on how I went from social anxiety to vibrant dating life to understand more about purpose and inspiration.
 

DarkJedi

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 3, 2020
Messages
167
I have noticed that girls can easily detect if you were pretending to look at them, and they tend to beat you at that game through their peripheral vision. If I see a girl from afar and I hold a relaxed eye contact at them without breaking it sometimes they also look back. No pretensions. Also, when I'm genuinely looking elsewhere or looking at my phone and suddenly look up, I see that they had been looking.

Having good fundamentals and a sexy walk always helps. So when I'm feeling good and in state I get more looks.

Another trick girls use if both of you are passing by a shop window for example is to use glass window to look at you through the reflection. Sneaky little creatures :LOL:
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
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