How To Manage The "Player" or "Man-Whore" Reputation

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Hey boys,

I've done it.

It was a goal of mine; first I want to see if I can handle it, then I want to see if I can succeed with it.

The "it" I refer to is a very strong reputation as a "player" or a "man-whore." Over the past few weeks I've been running day-game and bar-game like a monster, racking up ~5 dates per week, have slept with a few girls, and fooled around with many, many more. I've also burned some bridges and fucked up along the way, as is natural on the path to mastery.

And last night at the bars, I had many girls tell me various things

"I heard about your game...you're quite the player"

"I heard you're a man-whore now. You sleep with anyone you can get."

"I heard you're taking the machine-gun approach to dating and just going after everyone"

"I've talked to the girls you've slept with"

The last comment was from a girl I'd already slept with when she had a boyfriend; she's single now and was really into me before her friends kept cockblocking in favor of a "nice guy" she's going to date soon.

Derivations of this are abound in my interactions now. The "man-whore" comment I inquired about and the girl told me that she'd heard it from guys in one of the fraternities on campus. Why are guys talking about me to girls? I presume jealousy. Now, I'm a pretty popular/well-liked guy and have many friends who actively help me during interactions, but as is natural when you climb up the social ladder (though I'm not intentionally "social-ladder climbing" in the competitive sense), is that you'll acquire "haters" (I need to start rapping now).


There are various cons and pros about this reputation


Pros

- Preselection; people know I date and sleep with lots of women.

- Skill; when I interact with girls, they'll expect me to know what I'm doing

- Social value; I inevitably make lots of friends and allies being as social as I am

- Abundance mentality

- Sexual preselection; I've heard many rumors about my escapades in bed and my proficiency


Cons

- Girls have their walls up and are guarded about my intentions, even though they fully know my intentions

- Other jealous girls can EASILY cockblock me by giving the girls a few snippets of "he's just gonna try and sleep with you" (even if this would normally help me, to save face and maintain a "pure" or boyfriend-seeking appearance, girls will reject me - they don't want to be seen as "another number" by sleeping with me)

- If I DO fuckup, girls will also hear about this, and likely they'll hear about more of these than my successes

- Jealous guys will also run frequent interference




Solution?

I have a few things in my favor: lots of allies, generally well-liked, and very well known.

But I need something more. Should I just delete Facebook (I already don't post anymore, but it's a VERY helpful tool for staying in contact with European friends)? I've already deleted snapchat and cut down my texting game BIG TIME to make myself seem more scarce and mysterious. I'm starting to read reputation management books; I'm creating more bonds and allies in other organizations; I'm very polite with girls who I don't want to sleep with but who chase me hard; I've learned my lesson about boasting of conquests and vow to not speak about girls with anyone who doesn't first bring it up.

But I need something more...something that can prevent the "man-whore" status' negatives from trumping the positives. Do I need to slow down and be more selective with who I date? Am I making girls not feel special when I approach them, especially if they're friends with other girls I've approached?


I need to construct a smart response to when girls say this. One for girls I want to sleep with and one for girls who I don't.


To girls I want to sleep with: maybe add a vulnerability byronic quality - "It's really unfair for you to judge me like that; I didn't peg you for someone who listens to rumors, most of which are probably untrue." And then after this, act aloof and somewhat disinterested, almost as though you're having second thoughts about her, doubting your attraction.

It's not really defending myself, it's more of appealing to the very pervasive "don't judge me, I am who I am" tone that many songs are now expressing. If you can get the girl in your shoes and understand the injustice of rumors and gossip, it may win her over.


To girls I don't want to sleep with but still want to be polite and friends with: "why are you listening to rumors? Most of them are probably untrue." And then act aloof and disinterested.

It's less focused on yourself, your qualities, and her empathy for you and more focused on social maneuvering.




This is going to be a very arduous journey, but I'm excited for it. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions and comments! I know that my other thread "College Game" in the General boards is very similar to this, but now I have concrete data to work with, and much more specific problems.


May you all become powerful beyond measure,

Anatman

 

[Thedoctor]

Anatman,

First, if Facebook isn't that important to you, then yes delete it. I have found myself to be a happier person since I did. I won't go into it too much cause I know it's been discussed lots on this site: How not being on social media builds intrigue for you etc.

Second, it sounds like you've gotten the "player" label within your social circle. That's why it's important to cold approach random girls that have no attachment whatsoever to anyone you know. This will address most of your problems. I made a rule long ago that I wouldn't pursue a girl that was connected in any way to people in my life. It helps for a variety of good reasons.

Last, how are you ending your interactions with these girls? If they had a great time with you and you didn't build up their expectations in what you offering, then there really shouldn't be much backlash. That's why it's important to "screen" for the right girls who are on the same page as you. Lest you want to deal with a bunch of drama and fallout afterward. For example, if you know a girl wants a relationship and you imply (however subtly) that you are offering one, she'll feel hurt when it doesn't happen. She'll feel like you've used her and that's where the rumours start spreading.

Anytime I've been called a man whore, I just give a cocky smile and deflect the conversation elsewhere.

-John

 

[Zoro]

I've learned my lesson about boasting of conquests and vow to not speak about girls with anyone who doesn't first bring it up.

It might be a good idea to keep your escapades to yourself, even if others bring it up. Speaking about it generally may be okay, but remember since your name is being passed around a lot, the girls you sleep with are at risk of having their names passed around too.

You probably don't want girls having to worry about that and instead be able to follow their curiosity of this legendary man they have been hearing about. If girls know that they can keep you their dirty little secret, I'm sure they will be more likely to have some fun with you.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Anatman,

First, if Facebook isn't that important to you, then yes delete it. I have found myself to be a happier person since I did. I won't go into it too much cause I know it's been discussed lots on this site: How not being on social media builds intrigue for you etc.

Second, it sounds like you've gotten the "player" label within your social circle. That's why it's important to cold approach random girls that have no attachment whatsoever to anyone you know. This will address most of your problems. I made a rule long ago that I wouldn't pursue a girl that was connected in any way to people in my life. It helps for a variety of good reasons.

Last, how are you ending your interactions with these girls? If they had a great time with you and you didn't build up their expectations in what you offering, then there really shouldn't be much backlash. That's why it's important to "screen" for the right girls who are on the same page as you. Lest you want to deal with a bunch of drama and fallout afterward. For example, if you know a girl wants a relationship and you imply (however subtly) that you are offering one, she'll feel hurt when it doesn't happen. She'll feel like you've used her and that's where the rumours start spreading.

Anytime I've been called a man whore, I just give a cocky smile and deflect the conversation elsewhere.

-John

All of this is great! Everything at my school is social circle, unfortunately. People are hearing about my cold approaches, and I know this because friends of friends tell me they heard about it. I do need to make sure I imply that I'm not looking for anything serious, so that girls don't expect much from me in that department. But maybe my man-whore reputation will do that for me

It might be a good idea to keep your escapades to yourself, even if others bring it up. Speaking about it generally may be okay, but remember since your name is being passed around a lot, the girls you sleep with are at risk of having their names passed around too.

You probably don't want girls having to worry about that and instead be able to follow their curiosity of this legendary man they have been hearing about. If girls know that they can keep you their dirty little secret, I'm sure they will be more likely to have some fun with you.

Definitely agree with this. Also, apparently some girls know that I read articles on picking up girls, because I'm retarded, told a few fraternity brothers, and they often joke about it (luckily they don't know the name of the site or my username. If that happened and somehow started reading my reports, I would leave school IMMEDIATELY).

I am playing with fire.

 

[Verisimilitude]

Definitely agree with this. Also, apparently some girls know that I read articles on picking up girls, because I'm retarded, told a few fraternity brothers, and they often joke about it (luckily they don't know the name of the site or my username. If that happened and somehow started reading my reports, I would leave school IMMEDIATELY).

I am playing with fire.

This is one of my biggest fears. I try to manage this by keeping some time between the interactions and posting the reports (but still writing them asap), changing my username every now and then, not revealing my actual name, and changing details of my reports that do not affect the overall quality (girl's hair color, sorority, minor text changes).

Anyone else got any other ideas for keeping this safe?

 

[maximus6004]

I dont talk about this site to anyone. I was curious on how to.pick up girls so.i went looking by myself if someome desperately asks me and i trust them i will send them the link. That never usually happens though.

What happens on.girlschase stays on girlschase

 

[TheWiseFool]

I honestly wouldn't be bothered if they found out. If a girl is going to give me crap I'm just gonna tell it to her straight, "Would you prefer being with a guy who doesn't know what he's doing or would you want a guy who knows how to please you and knows you almost as much, if not better than yourself?" It always helps to create the perception that you know what you're doing, but if a girl(s) find out so what. Handle it with grace. I'd assume that if I hear girls have found out that I go online to learn how to pick up girls and I start to get all nervous around her, then it's just gonna show that I'm hiding behind a mask rather than really becoming this new and improved guy who embodies confidence and sexuality, etc. etc. That's just my opinion. I told my one frat brother who is pretty much the big man on campus and he gave me crap because he thought I'd be above it but after I explained to him my reasoning without coming off as being fazed by his judgement, he was cool about it and understood that it made sense.

I also remember Chase's story (Chase, if you read this, correct me if I'm wrong) where he went to the bathroom while a girl was waiting for him in his hotel room looking over some book of his regarding being a great lover in bed. He comes back and this girl is naked and just waiting for him to take her.

So.... I think his story is pretty much the same thing as a girl finding out that you are reading how to seduce a woman. You're working to mold yourself into a high-value man, you're upgrading yourself.

I could be wrong though since things are situational. I'm at a bigger state university now, but if I was still at a smaller school again, I'd be much more careful than I am now. But, I'd assume it's bound to happen so I'd rather be the master of my domain rather than people being the master of me.

Just my two cents,
- TWF

 

[maximus6004]

I agree, if people found out, handle it with grace. Bragging about it I don't agree with. At work people see me talking to the flight attendants all the time. One guy asked how do you do it? I said I work on my game all the time, read a lot on psychology. He said cool and walked on his way. Truth is a very small percentage of the population wants to better themselves there is what now 7 billion in the world approximately so far I have seen the top read pussy of a couple thousand. If you go to google and type in how to become better with woman. Well this site is In the top picks now.

So to sum it up, yea it is exciting to talk about your new found glory and share with everyone. It comes off as bragging and will intimidate people. Also chase talks about how you don't really want to bring anything up unless it's relating to something or, someone asks you specifically. Even with your buddies, it keeps you mysterious. I'm sure chase would disagree because he is trying to run a business. It really truly ends on your perspective and beliefs. Id everyone could get into Harvard though, would it really be that prestigious?

 

[Grand Pooba]

Anatman, I think you've discovered the upsides and the downsides of what happens when you kiss and tell. Especially in college, even telling your frat brothers...rumors and word spreads like wildfire. What I imagine is better is that you don't tell anyone intimate details about what you're doing (practicing seduction or the girl you banged last night), but let people find out on their own and build up their imagination of you. What's more sexy than a guy that GETS LOTS OF WOMEN, but DOESN'T TALK about any of them!? Yet he'll still have an aura and people will just know. Girls definitely feel safer when they know they can be sexual with you without the repercussions of society.

On the flip side, you're probably getting a reputation of being good in bed, so I'm sure that's going to make some more adventurous girls more curious about you. My hunch is that also means some of them will screen you harder and play more games. And people inherently know you're a popular guy with the ladies. In the long run I don't think this is a bad thing at all.

Plus, you can take these skills with you after college to some other city and you won't see many of the same people again unless you choose to.

I recommend reading this:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/secret-lover

Keep it up man, I hope I get to your level of problems soon ;-).

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

I believe my response to accusations with go as such


1st layer defense - deflection (e.g., "hahahahaa, I'm hearing a lot of talk about me lately; I guess I should be flattered how popular I am") Additionally, if their accusation is very aggressive, I'll respond in two ways: if they're a girl (e.g., "so what you're saying is you want to fuck me?") and if they're a guy (e.g., "I'm guessing you need some help? Let's wingman, dawg"). The former will be very true to how I act normally with girls, and the latter might even make the guy my friend. I have a very good history of turning around people who don't initially like me.

2nd layer defense - if they pursue the questioning past my deflection, I'll say something like "Why are you so interested in my life?" which puts them in a VERY hot seat.


3rd layer defense - if they make it past that with some incredible social calibration, I'll probably just say something vague like "yeah, I've read a bit on the psychology of attraction; pretty fascinating stuff."

I highly doubt fuckers will have the balls to straight up ask me; so far the accusations to my face have simply been "I heard you're a man-whore now," etc.


The reason I take such interest in this topic is because I'm staying here at school for a few more years now, since I switched my major.


Ozzo, V, Maximus, TWF, all of your responses are awesome and help clarify this subject for me. I really hope I have a similar experience to Chase's hotel shenanigans.

 

[maximus6004]

You remind me of me anatman, i went through that stage of yes im getting all this attention i gotta brag about it. It is normal! enjoy it. it will wear off though as it happens more your just like meh new stage of my life!

A lot of flight attendants ask me this all the time, there like people talk about you.

I say oh yeah good or bad?

Her "well your a player"

Me "i disagree, a player will hide from everyone and play with emotions and everyones life. i just know what i want and am honest about it" this can be qualifying yourself to her so you change it up in the next sentence with something to qualify her or just be straight forward and flirty.

Me "but isn't it funny how, i havent mentioned anything about the girls i have been with, seems all the girls are gossiping about me. so when we go out its your choice if you want to brag or not i think its better if we kept it a sexy little secret" smile and wink.

Her " how many girls have you been with?"

Me "which girlfriend do you want to be?"

Me "tell you what, i have room for a mistress!"

Her " a mistress is a whore who just sleeps with guys behind the wifes back!"

Me "or, she knows what she wants in life and it isn't a relationship. she lives life on the edge, never leaving the honeymoon period.... if someone was truly happy don't you think they wouldn't cheat? if you had kids and a huge commitment and a house, still being comfortable in the relationship but the spark just wasnt there, would you rather just find something else to do or go through a emotional process of splitting the family apart splitting everything fighting and just all the stress?"

I'm just jumping around here with responses from situations i have been in, in a way you get their perspective deep dive a little bit. or you could just keep flirting. im still experimenting with it. Let me know what you think or would change

 

[TheWiseFool]

Anatman and other guys,

Adding a bit more information if anything else comes up.

If you haven't already, I suggest reading Chase's article Handling Women's Accusations and "#5 Meta It" from The 5 Ways to Answer a Challenge in Social Situations.

I highly doubt fuckers will have the balls to straight up ask me; so far the accusations to my face have simply been "I heard you're a man-whore now," etc.

I definitely agree that people will try to avoid directly accusing you of said rumors. I believe that women's purpose for screening you hard is due to testing to see if you are of the caliber that they've heard of. Think of how people will ask for tons of proof from car salesmen when purchasing a REALLY expensive, high quality car (any high quality product for that matter). People invest time and effort in order to earn money, and that money is invested into other things to for pleasure or productivity. If you invest $1000000 into a car that looks amazing, has state of the art tech, and customized for high performance, yet it causes you more trouble than what you paid for, was that car worth the investment? I would say no, not worth the investment at all.

I believe that may be what's going on with you as well. Women (consumers) are accusing (testing) you based on rumors (reviews) spread over whatever communication they've received their info from. Men who talk shit about you are equivalent to other competitive companies in your said business and guys who want to be your wingman are companies who want to partner up with you (which is somewhat iffy to me simply because they are either lower status or they are trying to take you out/your spot. I am usually an optimistic person, but strategically speaking, how often do business owners work together simply because they "just want to help you out"? BUT, it's always great to study from a guy who really knows his stuff and isn't too worried to take someone under his wing).

1st layer defense - deflection (e.g., "hahahahaa, I'm hearing a lot of talk about me lately; I guess I should be flattered how popular I am") Additionally, if their accusation is very aggressive, I'll respond in two ways: if they're a girl (e.g., "so what you're saying is you want to fuck me?") and if they're a guy (e.g., "I'm guessing you need some help? Let's wingman, dawg"). The former will be very true to how I act normally with girls, and the latter might even make the guy my friend. I have a very good history of turning around people who don't initially like me.

2nd layer defense - if they pursue the questioning past my deflection, I'll say something like "Why are you so interested in my life?" which puts them in a VERY hot seat.


3rd layer defense - if they make it past that with some incredible social calibration, I'll probably just say something vague like "yeah, I've read a bit on the psychology of attraction; pretty fascinating stuff."

I think this is really good. I'd like to suggest an alternative strategy. It is only 1 step shorter and I think it is highly effective. My strategy follows this quote here from Ender's Game:

Colonel Graff: Tell me why you kept on kicking him. You had already won.
Ender Wiggin: Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too. So they'd leave me alone.

Rather than winning one fight and having backup plans in case of additional "attacks," why not win the first fight and make it clear that there will be no next time?

How? By attacking the heart of their strategy: what people are too scared to say. Why save the boss battle last when you can drop it right on them when they are still at level 1? Why not call out the elephant in the room.


For those of you who are still with me, I suggest watching this video ALONG WITH what I've written below. In my opinion, watching the video in tandem with my explanations is very important to understanding why I think that my strategy is much more effective.

From 0:00 to 0:48: What does this look like? Will, the politician in the middle, is being bombarded with questions and is constantly deflecting each with quick, cunning and clever wit and humor. The professor isn't too flustered by Will's behavior, since he has a reputation (what does that sound like?), but you can tell the professor shows bits of agitation due to his inability to coerce out of Will (the middle politician) what he really wants, which is later defined as "a human moment" (Be real with us). Since, the situation fails to move towards the desired outcome, the professor says, "Let's move on to the next question." The problem has been avoided, but has the problem been solved? No. I bet you can expect the professor is going to go at it again, just as Anatman has to continually deal with girls (same or different) who test him again and again, wanting him to crack but he doesn't. Sure Anatman can just avoid it, but that isn't solving the problem, it is avoiding it. We want to solve the problem once and for all.

0:48-0:58: You could see it as just a simple question, but if that girl really believed in America being the greatest country in the world do you think she would have asked it? No. But she asks it because she wants to know which politician is best for her, which one knows what's up and isn't afraid to say it, which one is going to steer her and the U.S. nation back onto the right path; the path to safety, security, progress, freedom, and most of all, happiness. Very similar to how girls will ask questions or make accusations when they are scared, nervous, or unsure. Not that she doesn't want to fuck you, she just isn't sold yet, as one of the articles states.

1:14-5:21 This is where it really matters. And I think it matters because if one wants to end all subsequent battles, he needs to drop the hammer, call in the tactical nuke. Will first gives his usual spiel, but then he just says what everyone wants to hear, giving it to the people straight no chaser. He does not stop, unrelentingly presents his case until it is finished. "You want me to play your game, okay I will." The U.S. is not the greatest country in the world (Addresses their fears/the heart of their question). He takes it one step further and compares qualities of the U.S. to that of other countries (We are not the only ones doing it). Then, he brings everyone back down by walking down the moral road by saying what the U.S. used to be, a country of doing what was right and just and honorable (This is what I want for us). Lastly, he presents the direction he wants to take things, "First step to solving any problem is recognizing there is one" (This is what we need to do if we want to get where we want to be). Gee gee.

At the beginning people are like, "Oh no he didn't!" but then people actually pay attention because Will is just drawing them in with his human moment. I could be wrong, but a "human moment" wins the first battle and all subsequent battles. So...

The strategy or model for shutting down slut and player shamers:
1. Bait with witty comment
2. Human Moment

• a. Address her fears.
  b. Present the reality of the situation.
  c. Your actual intentions.
  d. Present her with the opportunity of a lifetime.

What each step does?
1. Pretend you are not taking her seriously, she thinks you do this with every girl aka she thinks you're a typical player
2. Complete 180 by taking her seriously and transforming her perception of you

• a. Indicate you understand her
  b. presenting a new frame for her to accept that justifies what you do (reframe her perception)
  c. making a clear distinction between who you are and who you are not
  d. You are giving her a choice, not pressuring her into anything

Example
"Oh I see what this is about."
*Smirk/smile as if you knew what she was feeling before she even knew it*
"The only time a girl ever says something like this to me is when she's scared I'm going to end up hurting her." (She will try to deny it, ignore her and continue on) *Ask her a sarcastic question*
"Do you think I'm the only person in the entire world doing this? That there aren't other guys and girls on campus doing the same thing I'm doing. Men and women across the U.S., France, Germany, Italy, Japan, China who are like me, who do what I do? Do you think we're all perfect, prudes who do exactly what society tells us to do? People who sit when told to sit, jump when he says jump, roll over when she says roll over? Follow the rules for what? A little treat and some validation so I keep doing what I'm doing like some dog? I'm not sleeping with of girls because I just want to use them like pieces of meat, some conquest, or emotional validation. I'm not some player and I am certainly not a liar. I, am not some guy who speaks sweet nothings into a girl's ear, stringing her along, and ends up leaving her high and dry when he's through with her. No. That ain't me. I am not going to do that.
"I am going to give a woman absolutely hands-down the best experience I can possibly give her. I am going to let her know during it that she is a wonderful creature; I’m going to tell her what it is I like and respect most about her; and I’m going to go out of my way to make her feel like the luckiest woman on Earth. I’ll be insatiable with my lust toward her, because women feel happiest when they feel most desired, and I’ll give her the best experience between the sheets of her life, because I want her to feel the joy and pleasure that’s possible when she ends up with a man who actually knows what he’s doing. And should things end, I will end things with the utmost grace, letting the girl know that I cared for her deeply and wanted to be with her, and things will only end with an amazing woman because she chooses to end them. It will be her choice; she will feel in control of her own life when she chooses to walk away. So she will not look back with sadness or bitterness; she will know it was her own decision.”
*Pause for dramatic effect as well as letting her realize how fucking awesome you are*
"Now that we've gotten that out of the way," *Sigh/laugh/smile like a big weight has been lifted off of your shoulders*. "are you going to join me for *insert what you want to do*?"

Hopefully, Chase doesn't mind, but the quote in italics is part of a quote I have up in my room to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing in regards to learning seduction, the kind of man I must become. I'm not saying you should memorize the example word for word, but when you read it, understand the idea, the purpose and intent behind the words.

There is the chance that after all this she acts like she doesn't care about what you just said, but don't get flustered. Just be like, Juan Antonia @3:15. "Aight, well, it is what it is. I gave you the best I got, I'm gonna go over there, come find me later after thinking about what I said." And there is, without a doubt, that she heard you loud and clear and understood every single word that came out of your mouth. It will definitely sink like venom from a rattle snake bite. In addition, if there are other girls around, it will sink in to. And they might act totally shocked or floored, others might be like, "What a total loser," but later on their gonna be like, "Holy shit he is so romantic!" If you are at a small school and have this problem, there is bound to be talk about it between the girls and it'll spread within 2-3 days. Maybe some of them will defend you when guys talk shit about you. I really hope it works for those who test it out!

If there are flaws in the method, let me know! Otherwise, I hope this helps,
- TWF

 

[maximus6004]

just.... wow. you almost had me seduced my friend. should i take my pants off now or would you prefer for me to tease you. Lol j/k i dont think this could be put into perspective any better. i will start doing that right away! It has been exactly that battle after battle. I completely forgot about those articles and this is why we do this, so we can guide each other back to places and help fix our problems.

Bravo.

Amazing, will be put to use straight away!

Max

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Anatman and other guys,

Adding a bit more information if anything else comes up.

If you haven't already, I suggest reading Chase's article Handling Women's Accusations and "#5 Meta It" from The 5 Ways to Answer a Challenge in Social Situations.

I highly doubt fuckers will have the balls to straight up ask me; so far the accusations to my face have simply been "I heard you're a man-whore now," etc.

I definitely agree that people will try to avoid directly accusing you of said rumors. I believe that women's purpose for screening you hard is due to testing to see if you are of the caliber that they've heard of. Think of how people will ask for tons of proof from car salesmen when purchasing a REALLY expensive, high quality car (any high quality product for that matter). People invest time and effort in order to earn money, and that money is invested into other things to for pleasure or productivity. If you invest $1000000 into a car that looks amazing, has state of the art tech, and customized for high performance, yet it causes you more trouble than what you paid for, was that car worth the investment? I would say no, not worth the investment at all.

I believe that may be what's going on with you as well. Women (consumers) are accusing (testing) you based on rumors (reviews) spread over whatever communication they've received their info from. Men who talk shit about you are equivalent to other competitive companies in your said business and guys who want to be your wingman are companies who want to partner up with you (which is somewhat iffy to me simply because they are either lower status or they are trying to take you out/your spot. I am usually an optimistic person, but strategically speaking, how often do business owners work together simply because they "just want to help you out"? BUT, it's always great to study from a guy who really knows his stuff and isn't too worried to take someone under his wing).

1st layer defense - deflection (e.g., "hahahahaa, I'm hearing a lot of talk about me lately; I guess I should be flattered how popular I am") Additionally, if their accusation is very aggressive, I'll respond in two ways: if they're a girl (e.g., "so what you're saying is you want to fuck me?") and if they're a guy (e.g., "I'm guessing you need some help? Let's wingman, dawg"). The former will be very true to how I act normally with girls, and the latter might even make the guy my friend. I have a very good history of turning around people who don't initially like me.

2nd layer defense - if they pursue the questioning past my deflection, I'll say something like "Why are you so interested in my life?" which puts them in a VERY hot seat.


3rd layer defense - if they make it past that with some incredible social calibration, I'll probably just say something vague like "yeah, I've read a bit on the psychology of attraction; pretty fascinating stuff."

I think this is really good. I'd like to suggest an alternative strategy. It is only 1 step shorter and I think it is highly effective. My strategy follows this quote here from Ender's Game:

Colonel Graff: Tell me why you kept on kicking him. You had already won.
Ender Wiggin: Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too. So they'd leave me alone.

Rather than winning one fight and having backup plans in case of additional "attacks," why not win the first fight and make it clear that there will be no next time?

How? By attacking the heart of their strategy: what people are too scared to say. Why save the boss battle last when you can drop it right on them when they are still at level 1? Why not call out the elephant in the room.


For those of you who are still with me, I suggest watching this video ALONG WITH what I've written below. In my opinion, watching the video in tandem with my explanations is very important to understanding why I think that my strategy is much more effective.

From 0:00 to 0:48: What does this look like? Will, the politician in the middle, is being bombarded with questions and is constantly deflecting each with quick, cunning and clever wit and humor. The professor isn't too flustered by Will's behavior, since he has a reputation (what does that sound like?), but you can tell the professor shows bits of agitation due to his inability to coerce out of Will (the middle politician) what he really wants, which is later defined as "a human moment" (Be real with us). Since, the situation fails to move towards the desired outcome, the professor says, "Let's move on to the next question." The problem has been avoided, but has the problem been solved? No. I bet you can expect the professor is going to go at it again, just as Anatman has to continually deal with girls (same or different) who test him again and again, wanting him to crack but he doesn't. Sure Anatman can just avoid it, but that isn't solving the problem, it is avoiding it. We want to solve the problem once and for all.

0:48-0:58: You could see it as just a simple question, but if that girl really believed in America being the greatest country in the world do you think she would have asked it? No. But she asks it because she wants to know which politician is best for her, which one knows what's up and isn't afraid to say it, which one is going to steer her and the U.S. nation back onto the right path; the path to safety, security, progress, freedom, and most of all, happiness. Very similar to how girls will ask questions or make accusations when they are scared, nervous, or unsure. Not that she doesn't want to fuck you, she just isn't sold yet, as one of the articles states.

1:14-5:21 This is where it really matters. And I think it matters because if one wants to end all subsequent battles, he needs to drop the hammer, call in the tactical nuke. Will first gives his usual spiel, but then he just says what everyone wants to hear, giving it to the people straight no chaser. He does not stop, unrelentingly presents his case until it is finished. "You want me to play your game, okay I will." The U.S. is not the greatest country in the world (Addresses their fears/the heart of their question). He takes it one step further and compares qualities of the U.S. to that of other countries (We are not the only ones doing it). Then, he brings everyone back down by walking down the moral road by saying what the U.S. used to be, a country of doing what was right and just and honorable (This is what I want for us). Lastly, he presents the direction he wants to take things, "First step to solving any problem is recognizing there is one" (This is what we need to do if we want to get where we want to be). Gee gee.

At the beginning people are like, "Oh no he didn't!" but then people actually pay attention because Will is just drawing them in with his human moment. I could be wrong, but a "human moment" wins the first battle and all subsequent battles. So...

The strategy or model for shutting down slut and player shamers:
1. Bait with witty comment
2. Human Moment

• a. Address her fears.
  b. Present the reality of the situation.
  c. Your actual intentions.
  d. Present her with the opportunity of a lifetime.

What each step does?
1. Pretend you are not taking her seriously, she thinks you do this with every girl aka she thinks you're a typical player
2. Complete 180 by taking her seriously and transforming her perception of you

• a. Indicate you understand her
  b. presenting a new frame for her to accept that justifies what you do (reframe her perception)
  c. making a clear distinction between who you are and who you are not
  d. You are giving her a choice, not pressuring her into anything

Example
"Oh I see what this is about."
*Smirk/smile as if you knew what she was feeling before she even knew it*
"The only time a girl ever says something like this to me is when she's scared I'm going to end up hurting her." (She will try to deny it, ignore her and continue on) *Ask her a sarcastic question*
"Do you think I'm the only person in the entire world doing this? That there aren't other guys and girls on campus doing the same thing I'm doing. Men and women across the U.S., France, Germany, Italy, Japan, China who are like me, who do what I do? Do you think we're all perfect, prudes who do exactly what society tells us to do? People who sit when told to sit, jump when he says jump, roll over when she says roll over? Follow the rules for what? A little treat and some validation so I keep doing what I'm doing like some dog? I'm not sleeping with of girls because I just want to use them like pieces of meat, some conquest, or emotional validation. I'm not some player and I am certainly not a liar. I, am not some guy who speaks sweet nothings into a girl's ear, stringing her along, and ends up leaving her high and dry when he's through with her. No. That ain't me. I am not going to do that.
"I am going to give a woman absolutely hands-down the best experience I can possibly give her. I am going to let her know during it that she is a wonderful creature; I’m going to tell her what it is I like and respect most about her; and I’m going to go out of my way to make her feel like the luckiest woman on Earth. I’ll be insatiable with my lust toward her, because women feel happiest when they feel most desired, and I’ll give her the best experience between the sheets of her life, because I want her to feel the joy and pleasure that’s possible when she ends up with a man who actually knows what he’s doing. And should things end, I will end things with the utmost grace, letting the girl know that I cared for her deeply and wanted to be with her, and things will only end with an amazing woman because she chooses to end them. It will be her choice; she will feel in control of her own life when she chooses to walk away. So she will not look back with sadness or bitterness; she will know it was her own decision.”
*Pause for dramatic effect as well as letting her realize how fucking awesome you are*
"Now that we've gotten that out of the way," *Sigh/laugh/smile like a big weight has been lifted off of your shoulders*. "are you going to join me for *insert what you want to do*?"

Hopefully, Chase doesn't mind, but the quote in italics is part of a quote I have up in my room to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing in regards to learning seduction, the kind of man I must become. I'm not saying you should memorize the example word for word, but when you read it, understand the idea, the purpose and intent behind the words.

There is the chance that after all this she acts like she doesn't care about what you just said, but don't get flustered. Just be like, Juan Antonia @3:15. "Aight, well, it is what it is. I gave you the best I got, I'm gonna go over there, come find me later after thinking about what I said." And there is, without a doubt, that she heard you loud and clear and understood every single word that came out of your mouth. It will definitely sink like venom from a rattle snake bite. In addition, if there are other girls around, it will sink in to. And they might act totally shocked or floored, others might be like, "What a total loser," but later on their gonna be like, "Holy shit he is so romantic!" If you are at a small school and have this problem, there is bound to be talk about it between the girls and it'll spread within 2-3 days. Maybe some of them will defend you when guys talk shit about you. I really hope it works for those who test it out!

If there are flaws in the method, let me know! Otherwise, I hope this helps,
- TWF

1. You had me at "Ender's Game." Seriously, very few books have ever inspired me so much (not to mention the 7 sequels that followed).

2. Brilliant.

3. I actually hope someone confronts me; I'm very good at soapboxing my position concisely and eloquently, but I have to say, I really, really love your exposition.

Ender's Game, Let's Fly To Oviedo - that's a deadly fucking combination. I hope my short response can convey to you how amazing I think your comment is. It's a pleasure to have you on the boards, TWF.

 

[TheWiseFool]

I know the feeling man! In the end, it's not the size of the message, but the meaning behind it ^_^ I hear you and understand you and I am glad to help Had a lot of fun writing this one too cos I was thinking, "This would be so badass if it works!"

3. I actually hope someone confronts me; I'm very good at soapboxing my position concisely and eloquently, but I have to say, I really, really love your exposition.

Remember that if the person is a girl, she is scared that you don't care about her. You want her to know you understand her and you want her to understand you without her balling up into a defensive position because she misunderstood your communication.

But I know you already know what to do from your one LR, particularly this quote:

Friend - "Hmm...and what do you actually know about her? Or is it just sexual?"

Me - "She's spunky." (Baiting her with a simple adjective and then will overdeliver from this under-whelming introduction)

Friend - "What else? That's just a quality lots of girls have."

Me - "Well, what I like most about Amanda is that she wants to be a physical therapist not just because of some vague notion that she likes to help people. She actually has a genuine, emotional story of her shadowing a PT who helped a high-school basketball player make a full recovery. She loved seeing someone recover from such a hard athletic injury as a torn ACL. I can see how this experience inspires her and it's awesome that.."

Friend - "Okay, stop. You passed."

And then she walked away.

Yep, simple as that. She barely engaged me the rest of the night and a minute later Amanda came up to me and said "hey, I heard you passed my friend's test." I then asked her if I could come home with her and she responded "well, let's walk her home together now and then we'll see."

That right there is a movie moment and matches up exactly with Captain CornontheCob's Highschool Comeback LR:

Guy: So you two hooking up or something, haha I did not know you guys hangout
Me: Look at everyone else in the room, what do you see?
Guy:what do you mean what do I see?
Me: Everyone is at their tables in groups of two or three just chatting and having a good time, you tell me what they are doing right after they leave
Guy:I was just kidding man( he patted me on the shoulder)
Her:Hey (guys name), can you do me a quick favor? (She places her hand on his arm)

Outclassed and outframed. The girls defends CC because you won her over. GG no re lol.

Okay, I'll stop talking now! Glad I could help man! Wish you the best,
- The Wise Fool