How to open up a girl quickly when girl is neutral

[vicknick]

One of the problem I encounter after opening a girl is, the girl will be responsive but her emotion will be neutral and talk just a little. I tried using the keywords the girl gives to create rapport to open her up more, but I am not sure if I did it correctly.

Saw a girl wearing earphones in a clothing store while I was buying clothes, so I approached her.

Me: "Sorry are you listening to music?"
Her: "(Took off her earphones and look at me) No no"
Me: "I think you look quite stylish today, so come and say hi"
Her: "Oh hi"
Me: "Today is off day so you come shopping?"
Her: "Yes. I am still a student"
Me: "I see. What are you studying?"
Her: "Actuarial science"
Me: "Sounds like very complex subject. You interested in numbers, that's why you choose to study this?" (Try to create connection)
Her: "Yes"
Me: "Interesting. Because I rarely heard girls choose a subject related to math, some choose it because the pay is quite good. Why are you interested in numbers?" (Try to create connection again)
Her: "Hmm.. not sure"
Me: "(Feel that she is not interested in this convo, so tried to switch topic. I tried to create a false time constraint so that she won't be nervous) I will be meeting my friends very soon after I have done shopping"
Her: "Are you local?"
Me: "So you think I am not local, why do you say so?"
Her: "Haha, because from your accent sounds not local"
Me: "I am curious where do you think I am from"
Her: "Taiwan"
Me: "This is the first time someone says I am from Taiwan. Most of the people will think I am from China, but actually I am local"
Me: "I guess you usually watch Taiwanese drama?"
Her: "No I watch Chinese TV shows more." (Should I expand more on Chinese show? I felt the topic is quite "friendly" and not conducive for man-woman)
Me: "But how do you know about Taiwanese accent. I am guessing you must have a lot of Taiwanese friends?" (Not sure why I ask this question, but looking back it's a bit nonsense since it's not related to her)
Her: "No"

The girl gave a few keywords that I felt I can expand on, but I was not sure if I did it correctly.

 

[Will_V]

One of the problem I encounter after opening a girl is, the girl will be responsive but her emotion will be neutral and talk just a little. I tried using the keywords the girl gives to create rapport to open her up more, but I am not sure if I did it correctly.

Saw a girl wearing earphones in a clothing store while I was buying clothes, so I approached her.

Me: "Sorry are you listening to music?"
Her: "(Took off her earphones and look at me) No no"
Me: "I think you look quite stylish today, so come and say hi"
Her: "Oh hi"
Me: "Today is off day so you come shopping?"
Her: "Yes. I am still a student"
Me: "I see. What are you studying?"
Her: "Actuarial science"
Me: "Sounds like very complex subject. You interested in numbers, that's why you choose to study this?" (Try to create connection)
Her: "Yes"
Me: "Interesting. Because I rarely heard girls choose a subject related to math, some choose it because the pay is quite good. Why are you interested in numbers?" (Try to create connection again)
Her: "Hmm.. not sure"
Me: "(Feel that she is not interested in this convo, so tried to switch topic. I tried to create a false time constraint so that she won't be nervous) I will be meeting my friends very soon after I have done shopping"
Her: "Are you local?"
Me: "So you think I am not local, why do you say so?"
Her: "Haha, because from your accent sounds not local"
Me: "I am curious where do you think I am from"
Her: "Taiwan"
Me: "This is the first time someone says I am from Taiwan. Most of the people will think I am from China, but actually I am local"
Me: "I guess you usually watch Taiwanese drama?"
Her: "No I watch Chinese TV shows more." (Should I expand more on Chinese show? I felt the topic is quite "friendly" and not conducive for man-woman)
Me: "But how do you know about Taiwanese accent. I am guessing you must have a lot of Taiwanese friends?" (Not sure why I ask this question, but looking back it's a bit nonsense since it's not related to her)
Her: "No"

The girl gave a few keywords that I felt I can expand on, but I was not sure if I did it correctly.

I'm going to be blunt. Conversation is boring, too many random questions/fishing, nothing emotional. There is no part of this interaction that she would think about later with a sense of excitement or anticipation.

The problem here is not her neutrality, it's your lack of leading things quickly to something that turns her on.

 

[vicknick]

I'm going to be blunt. Conversation is boring, too many random questions/fishing, nothing emotional. There is no part of this interaction that she would think about later with a sense of excitement or anticipation.

The problem here is not her neutrality, it's your lack of leading things quickly to something that turns her on.

Yes, but I am not sure which part to change though. I am wondering how would you change the convo? For example, she mentioned she studied actuarial science, so I tried to create rapport by asking her if she is interested in numbers?

 

[Conquistador]

Yes, but I am not sure which part to change though. I am wondering how would you change the convo? For example, she mentioned she studied actuarial science, so I tried to create rapport by asking her if she is interested in numbers?

…that’s not how rapport and similarity work.

 

[vicknick]

…that’s not how rapport and similarity work.

Just curious, how do you build rapport if she said she worked in actuarial science?

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

TBH, Does not read like you've read anything about seduction before. Like you want us to spoon feed the game to you, without doing any homework, any of the essential reading. Moreover, your expectations are totally out of line with the scenario.

Like you're at a clothing store, but your mind goes to asking her "getting to know you" type questions?

 

[vicknick]

TBH, Does not read like you've read anything about seduction before. Like you want us to spoon feed the game to you, without doing any homework, any of the essential reading.

I have tried to read all the materials, and then apply outside in real life. And if there is a problem that I couldn't solve by myself or by referencing the materials, I would write on the forum to see if there are any others advice on it, by laying out my reasoning behind the words or action I took.

Or you have a better way to solve a problem? Would like to hear about it.

Moreover, your expectations are totally out of line with the scenario.

I am not sure what you mean by this. What do you mean by "expectation out of line"?

Like you're at a clothing store, but your mind goes to asking her "getting to know you" type questions?

Not too sure what you mean. Do you mean I shouldn't ask her "getting to know you" questions? What will you ask in this scenario?

 

[James D]

Me: "I think you look quite stylish today, so come and say hi"

How did you deliver that line?

Cuz it affects the starting point of the conversation, emotion-wise.

The way you deliver the compliment impacts how the compliment lands.

I think you have a problem with the energy behind your words.

If you'll open with compliments, the sincerity behind the compliment must be felt or else the compliment does not land.

For the conversation, think "curiosity". You must be genuinely curious about this beautiful girl you're interacting with. This curiosity is the energy backing your words and will massively change the tone of the conversation.

Girls Chase is great in many ways but one of the ways it absolutely stands out is through its material on conversation.

You won't find anything that comes close to how GC teaches conversation.

This is fantastic news. You should absolutely check out everything on the site about conversation and better yet, get One Date, TDA module 2 is enitrely on conversation and if I remember correctly, one of the lessons is about mistakes in conversation.

Here's my 2 cents on what you could improve ASAP:

1. You ask way too many questions in succession. It feels more like an interview than a flirtation.
2. One of the worst ways to build rapport is to force rapport. The girl can feel it and it's no good.
3. Read LRs from tribal elders on the forum and focus on their early conversations with their girls. Try to feel the energy behind the conversation.
4. Re-think the energy behind your words and overall interactions. The energy conveyed is what she'll remember anyway. Seems the energy in this interaction was "random guy approached me and asked a bunch of questions". Rather, she should remember the energy behind your opening compliment (read: sincerity) and overall curiosity about her before closing. In which case, she would remember something like "that guy who made my day with this compliment and had a really interesting conversation which makes me want to get to know him more"

I can tell you from having approached 4 girls a day for the past 18 days (I'm on Chase's approach challenge), the biggest factor of how well an interaction goes (asides from not making mistakes in the conversation) is the energy behind everything from the opening compliment to the conversation to the close.

 

[Will_V]

Yes, but I am not sure which part to change though. I am wondering how would you change the convo? For example, she mentioned she studied actuarial science, so I tried to create rapport by asking her if she is interested in numbers?

Asking a very simple question is not the same as creating rapport. It is only when your phrasing of the question shows understanding, perception, and playfulness that she feels like you really understand her and that there is something connecting you two.

The way I look at it, the less I have in common with a girl, the more sexual and teasing I get. The more we have in common, the more subtle I can be while creating intimacy (by establishing rapport through something shared). Because intimacy can work in many different ways. But there must never be a 'normal, boring' conversation at any point, because a normal, boring conversation is nothing more than a facade on top of an empty space that tires everyone out.

You must stop thinking about talking to girls in terms of these mechanistic techniques, but think of every conversation in terms of how you would talk to her after you've had sex with her. Because at that point there is no facade, there is no 'trying', there is nothing forced. You are simply lying there talking to her the way you've always wanted to talk to girls, expressing yourself the way you've always wanted to express yourself to her, saying whatever silly stuff you want.

How is it that you want to talk and express yourself to women? What do you enjoy saying to girls, regardless of their perception of you? Seduction techniques are there not to replace that, but simply to give you a roadmap of how to use it to actually get somewhere.

Otherwise you will simply end up being a repository of techniques that more or less function, but never give her a real sense of you and your personality and character.

 

[fog]

Me: "I see. What are you studying?"
Her: "Actuarial science"
Me: "Sounds like very complex subject. You interested in numbers, that's why you choose to study this?" (Try to create connection)
Her: "Yes"
Me: "Interesting. Because I rarely heard girls choose a subject related to math, some choose it because the pay is quite good. Why are you interested in numbers?" (Try to create connection again)
Her: "Hmm.. not sure"

It's good that you are discussing this light topic after your opener. it helps to break the ice further and lets you get into a better position.

however you are a bit clumsy in how you approach it. for example you are getting too deep too quickly and not relating to her

there is one ideal way to structure it. it looks like this in its most basic form:

1. ask her what she's studying
2. find out if she likes it
3. ask why she likes it on an emotional level. provide listing of emotional states
4. relate to her on the emotional state she provided

Like so:

Me: I see. What are you studying?
Her: Actuarial science
Me: Oh, interesting. Do you like it?
Her: Yeah, I'm so passionate.
Me: What is it about actuarial science that really does it for you? Does it give you a feeling of escape? Or maybe equations make you excited?
Her: it gives me a feeling of escape to get all caught up in numbers
Me: I feel the same way when im acting
Her: You act!??
Me: yeah i do! when I get on stage…its like the more I act, the more I feel this sense of escape!

use this structure in your next approach session and watch as the doors open to better reactions and hooks

 

[vicknick]

Here's my 2 cents on what you could improve ASAP:

1. You ask way too many questions in succession. It feels more like an interview than a flirtation.
2. One of the worst ways to build rapport is to force rapport. The girl can feel it and it's no good.
3. Read LRs from tribal elders on the forum and focus on their early conversations with their girls. Try to feel the energy behind the conversation.
4. Re-think the energy behind your words and overall interactions. The energy conveyed is what she'll remember anyway. Seems the energy in this interaction was "random guy approached me and asked a bunch of questions". Rather, she should remember the energy behind your opening compliment (read: sincerity) and overall curiosity about her before closing. In which case, she would remember something like "that guy who made my day with this compliment and had a really interesting conversation which makes me want to get to know him more"

Seems like "energy" is the problem I am facing. Some of my peers said my voice is a bit deep, so the girls would feel that I have low energy/ low vibe. Have to raise my voice louder sometimes.

 

[vicknick]

The way I look at it, the less I have in common with a girl, the more sexual and teasing I get. The more we have in common, the more subtle I can be while creating intimacy (by establishing rapport through something shared). Because intimacy can work in many different ways. But there must never be a 'normal, boring' conversation at any point, because a normal, boring conversation is nothing more than a facade on top of an empty space that tires everyone out.

Thanks! Nowadays, I try to learn to always build rapport during cold approaches to open her up, especially when the girl is neutral.

However, you mentioned that the less common you both have, the more you teasing you get. Wouldn't the girl be more closed off if she is not open yet? Because from what I experienced, teasing is a form of "push". For me, I would continue to ask questions and give statements about her to build rapport with the girl. Once she has opened up, then I will consider teasing her etc. Would like to hear your opinion about this.

 

[vicknick]

however you are a bit clumsy in how you approach it. for example you are getting too deep too quickly and not relating to her

there is one ideal way to structure it. it looks like this in its most basic form:

1. ask her what she's studying
2. find out if she likes it
3. ask why she likes it on an emotional level. provide listing of emotional states
4. relate to her on the emotional state she provided

This is a better approach. Looking back at my convo, I think I asked many questions but didn't relate back to her.

Btw, what topic will you switch to if she said she is "not really interested"? I usually will just ask what she like to do at free time, but felt a bit weird because it's like asking too many questions. For example:

Me: I see. What are you studying?
Her: Actuarial science
Me: Oh, interesting. Do you like it?
Her: Hmm not really
Me: I see. Sounds like a very difficult subject to study. What do you like to do when you are free then? (a bit awkward since I ask 3 questions in a row, but have to do so to switch topic)