A
Anonymous
Guest
I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible. I’ve been doing a lot of reading over your articles, however I am slightly confused on how to proceed with my dilemma. From what I have read there are methods of how to proceed that are contradicting.
As a preface; I became friends with a women who lives two doors up from me, we became friends with benefits very quickly as there was a lot of attraction on both sides. Neither of us were ready for a relationship at the time as we both got out of marriages 2 years prior. She is 44 years old and I am 30 years old and we both have two kids.
As time transpired we began hanging out a lot more having drinks, then dinners and finally hanging out as a family. About 2 months in we were dating and going on trips together. The next 8 months were amazing; I found here to be a great women and had all that I would want out of a relationship. From what she had told me and mutual friends she felt the same about me. The only problem that I had in this relationship was her moments of emotional distancing, which happened maybe every couple of months. When this happened I was always wondering what was causing this and she keened in on my issues with that. It did cause a few spats. This was the only thing that we even had discussions about, not really arguments.
A few weeks ago we were hanging out and she came to me and said that she just can’t do a relationship at this point that she was not ready and it’s been making her sick. We had a little discussion about it and I let her go. About a week goes by and she comes down for drinks, we talk a little more and she says that she is still feeling sick. As the night goes on we began drinking more and we talk a little more and she says that it’s the age difference that she can’t deal with. She says she loves me more than anything but she feels old around me and can’t do it. Then as the night was ending she ended up staying the night and we had some fun. From there I didn’t hear from her for another week. We hung out again and at that point I decided to finally tell her my feelings on the subject. At that point I needed to get off my chest what I needed to say knowing it might be the end. She told me that she doesn’t think we can remain friends at this point, which I agree with because there is too much there. From that point it’s been about two weeks and I haven’t heard from her, and I haven’t tried to talk to her trying to give her some space to think about things. I do see her at times driving by and she still waves and gives me that flirty look.
In the meantime I have been getting out a lot and meeting new people however I know what I want, and what I want is for this relationship to work out. Do you have any suggestions of how to handle a situation like this or am I fighting a helpless battle?
As a preface; I became friends with a women who lives two doors up from me, we became friends with benefits very quickly as there was a lot of attraction on both sides. Neither of us were ready for a relationship at the time as we both got out of marriages 2 years prior. She is 44 years old and I am 30 years old and we both have two kids.
As time transpired we began hanging out a lot more having drinks, then dinners and finally hanging out as a family. About 2 months in we were dating and going on trips together. The next 8 months were amazing; I found here to be a great women and had all that I would want out of a relationship. From what she had told me and mutual friends she felt the same about me. The only problem that I had in this relationship was her moments of emotional distancing, which happened maybe every couple of months. When this happened I was always wondering what was causing this and she keened in on my issues with that. It did cause a few spats. This was the only thing that we even had discussions about, not really arguments.
A few weeks ago we were hanging out and she came to me and said that she just can’t do a relationship at this point that she was not ready and it’s been making her sick. We had a little discussion about it and I let her go. About a week goes by and she comes down for drinks, we talk a little more and she says that she is still feeling sick. As the night goes on we began drinking more and we talk a little more and she says that it’s the age difference that she can’t deal with. She says she loves me more than anything but she feels old around me and can’t do it. Then as the night was ending she ended up staying the night and we had some fun. From there I didn’t hear from her for another week. We hung out again and at that point I decided to finally tell her my feelings on the subject. At that point I needed to get off my chest what I needed to say knowing it might be the end. She told me that she doesn’t think we can remain friends at this point, which I agree with because there is too much there. From that point it’s been about two weeks and I haven’t heard from her, and I haven’t tried to talk to her trying to give her some space to think about things. I do see her at times driving by and she still waves and gives me that flirty look.
In the meantime I have been getting out a lot and meeting new people however I know what I want, and what I want is for this relationship to work out. Do you have any suggestions of how to handle a situation like this or am I fighting a helpless battle?
