How to Proceed

[Kvothe]

So interaction with the girl is here: viewtopic.php?f=15&t=15673&start=50#p83312

I texted her telling her we should meet on Sunday. She suggested that we grab our friends and all go grab drinks or something. I'd rather just meet with her one on one.

The vibe during the interaction was lacking sexual tension if you ask me. It felt a little platonic, even though I was giving compliments and being physical. My plan at the moment is to just ignore the message and reply on Sunday seeing if she wants to meet in the evening nearby and see what to do from there, and then suggest that we grab wine at my place. Worst case I would go with her and her friends for the reference point, and see if I can pull her from that situation.

Any advice from the board on the best way to salvage the situation?

 

[Atlas]

Hey Kvothe, since you have (very recently) given me some good advice, I would like to be able to do the same. I doubt anything I'm going to say here will be massively groundbreaking, but I'm hoping you can get some use out of it.

So after dissecting your Journal post, you state that you have normal boring phone conversations. I have gotten really good at texting girls, and I think that might be part of your "problem" of seeming platonic. I always try to throw some talk about sex or some innuendos in to sorta set the tone for an interaction. I think avoiding being boring in texts might help, especially if you didn't talk to this girl much on your way to work that day. I've found that expectations are hard things to break, and if you come to expect someone to be funny and sexy (which you can do over texts messages if you have some skill) then she will see you as that type of person throughout the rest of your time together. The way I run my text message game is a small amount of deep diving that provides just enough info to have some fun with if that makes sense. If you could give examples of your texts messages I may be able to help.

But other than text messages, a way to get a sexual vibe is to, well, talk about sex. It's kinda hard thinking of a tactful way to bring it up, but if you can its fun and helps you out later if you try to get her in bed.

Moving on to what you want to do on Sunday, I would agree with your suggestion of not going with friends. If it were me, I would just be honest and say something like "you know, I was thinking we spend some time with just us, how about we grab wine at my place" or something to that effect. I don't believe ignoring it is the way to go, even though I remember reading an article before about ignoring girls messages if you don't agree with them. Just a side note, also in your journal I saw that the girl said she had to go home to walk her friend's dog. I think you could've exploited that and offered to help in a social savvy way and it might've been a good opportunity to try to get back at her place if that was something you were after.

Hope some of this info helps,
Atlas

 

[Kvothe]

Man I don't know why I didn't think of going to her place LOL. That is definitely what I should have done. Next time I'll try to remember. I could have suggested bringing some wine and that could've worked.

Yeah that's what I'll probably do on Sunday. I'll start off with the ignoring and if she brings up the friends, then I'll follow what you wrote.

Thanks!
Kvothe