How to pull back from an interaction if I've pushed too much?

[Calibration]

Yet another post relating to texting lol
Some of you here know that I'm not good at texting but the good news is, I think I'm improving...

One of the big breakthrough for me to know that I was writing lengthy texts which came across very logical. Anyway, after @DoWhatWorks pointed out this, I went back to my old texts and saw that I was always doing this mistake. I looked into some of @Skills threads and watched a lot of videos from PWF and I think it's helping but I'm not there yet cos in the below interaction I again failed the shit test and came across needy. I would always think and text but that day she texted me right after I sent her a text and I panicked not knowing what to respond and ended up sending a needy text and she stopped responding to me. PWF suggests being persistent and I was persistent with this girl since she was answering after every double text until the last text I sent. How do I now pull back so that she responds or what text to send her or is it over?

In fact, I want to know how do I pull back even in real life interaction if I've pushed too much for kissing or fucking? Sometimes when I withdraw completely, they just leave

https://imgur.com/a/KV721pi

 

[Rakehell]

Dude honestly now that i’m seeing your texts in their full capacity, they’re kind of creepy imo. The Ryan Gosling pic u sent looks super outdated (not sure if you sent it ironically) and you double text plenty.

You send big blocks of text that aren’t very aesthetically pleasing. And you double text before giving her a chance to respond to it. You undermine what you ask by double texting and letting her off the hook.

Your texts should be concise, eliciting big blocks of texts from HER. Which allows you to send bigger blocks of texts to respond.

You should work on getting them to respond in the first place instead of trying to force a pull back as the dynamic you’ve set up doesn’t allow for you to pull back. If you double texted and she doesn’t respond there is no “pull back text”. You’d still be chasing her response.

 

[Rakehell]

The pull back should’ve happened here

“Omgosh yes I do remember! U had nice hair tied back in a headband”

“The festival was amazing wasn’t it?”

This was her response to your much longer chain of text. Although the length of the text you sent before matched the length of her previous one, her next response was much less investment than yours.

Here you should’ve responded with something like “yeah it was definitely a fun time, what was your favorite part?”

Instead you sent a big block of texts, soft closed, and gave her way too much to respond to.

 

[Calibration]

Dude honestly now that i’m seeing your texts in their full capacity, they’re kind of creepy imo. The Ryan Gosling pic u sent looks super outdated (not sure if you sent it ironically) and you double text plenty.

You send big blocks of text that aren’t very aesthetically pleasing. And you double text before giving her a chance to respond to it. You undermine what you ask by double texting and letting her off the hook.

A few things... Firstly, my first few texts I sent were when I didn't have a good understanding of texting structure and I got a pointer about my long ass texts from @DoWhatWorks and after this,I was more mindful

Your texts should be concise, eliciting big blocks of texts from HER. Which allows you to send bigger blocks of texts to respond.

You should work on getting them to respond in the first place instead of trying to force a pull back as the dynamic you’ve set up doesn’t allow for you to pull back. If you double texted and she doesn’t respond there is no “pull back text”. You’d still be chasing her response.

Secondly, I'm double-texting only after 2-3 days (pwf suggests this in his videos). Is it still bad?

 

[Rakehell]

Secondly, I'm double-texting only after 2-3 days (pwf suggests this in his videos). Is it still bad?

Ideally you shouldn’t have to double text at all. Once is okay but doing it multiple times when she doesn’t respond in a certain time frame is definitely a no go.

And when you do double text, she should immediately be investing more in the interaction because not responding is a faux paux on her part. If she immediately goes back to not responding that is a lack of interest and double texting again will only compound that.

 

[TomInHo]

I agree with @SunKing your texting is way too chasey and overeager. So worrying about a pull back is not in the question because you have noting to pull back from

I know we all have different texting styles but there are some things I think you could improve

1) Rectify Power Imbalances

If you look closely, you can see that she is dominating the frame by making you qualify to her

Her: I like the peacock girl thing, blah,blah blah, I don't remember you
You: I was wearing my heart on my sleeve

Her response should have alerted you that she thinks she is better than you. And you mistakenly rewarded her by supplicating and showing you like her more than she likes you. Sarcasm doesn't translate well over text, and if that was your intention, be more wary about not rewarding her indifference

A better response could have been

You: Yeah! You were pretty smashed when I was talking to you and your asian friend. But good to know you made it out alive

It's more neutral and paces her response

And further into the interaction, you shift the frame to qualifying her more than she does you

2) Add more intrigue before soft closing

Another thing I noticed was you going for the soft close without building any curiosity in her. So because she is not invested in the interaction it is easy for her to ghost you

Because after you sent the Gosling Meme you went straight for the soft close again....BAD

She ghosted you for a reason so you need to build some investment before going for the close again. A better response could have been

You: My weekend has been one to remember. Spent quality time with an old friend and just wrapped up a gym session to get fit for an important event. How about yours?

This is better because it gives her options and get her mind spinning. Why is his weekend one to remember? Quality time with an old friend, could it be a guy or girl? He's working out for an important event... I wonder what it is?

So many options to spin off and build more investment from her, while also framing you as a guy that actually has a life... WIN WIN

3) Take it easy on the hard pushes and over using persistence

Persistence is definitely an important trait to implement into your text game, but you have to understand why you use it. Because if you're using it too much it means your texts are coming off as boring, try-hard, over-eager or lacking direction.

Whenever you need to persist, always assume you made a mistake and try not to make it again in the next round of texting using the format Banter > Soft Close > Hard Close

 

[Calibration]

I agree with @SunKing your texting is way too chasey and overeager. So worrying about a pull back is not in the question because you have noting to pull back from

I know we all have different texting styles but there are some things I think you could improve

1) Rectify Power Imbalances

If you look closely, you can see that she is dominating the frame by making you qualify to her

Her: I like the peacock girl thing, blah,blah blah, I don't remember you
You: I was wearing my heart on my sleeve

Her stating that should have alerted you that she thinks she is better than you. And you rewarded her by supplicating and showing you like her more than she likes you. Sarcasm doesn't translate well over text if that was your intention so be more wary about not rewarding her indifference

All good points.. I'm guilty of showing off my cheesy flirtatious lines. Although I've improved a lot, I still falter from time to time

A better response could have been

You: Yeah! You were pretty smashed when I was talking to you and your asian friend. But good to know you made it out alive

It's more neutral and paces her response

And further in the interaction you want to shift the frame to where you are qualifying her

2) Add more intrigue before soft closing

Another thing noticed was that you go for the soft close without building any curiosity in her. So because she is not invested in the interaction it is easy for her to ghost you

Because after you sent the Gosling Meme you went straight for the soft close again....BAD

She ghosted you for a reason so you need to build some investment before going for the close again. So better response could have been

You: My weekend has been one to remember. Spent quality time with an old friend and just wrapped up a gym session to get fit for an important event. How about yours?

This is better because it gives her options and get her mind spinning. Why is his weekend one to remember? Quality time with an old friend, could it be a guy or girl? He's working out for an important event... I wonder what it is?

So many options to spin off and build more investment from her, while also framing you as a guy that actually has a life... WIN WIN

Hmm.. I think this is a good pointer too; to become goal-oriented and subcommunication

3) Take it easy on the hard pushes and over using persistence

Persistence is definitely an important trait to implement into your text game, but you have to understand why you use it. Because if you're using it too much it means that your texts are coming off as boring, try-hard, over-eager or lacking direction.

So whenever you need to persist, always assume you made a mistake and try not to make it again in the next round of texting using the format Banter > Soft Close > Hard Close

Thanks guys for your inputs

 

[Calibration]

3) Take it easy on the hard pushes and over using persistence

Persistence is definitely an important trait to implement into your text game, but you have to understand why you use it. Because if you're using it too much it means that your texts are coming off as boring, try-hard, over-eager or lacking direction.

So whenever you need to persist, always assume you made a mistake and try not to make it again in the next round of texting using the format Banter > Soft Close > Hard Close

If she dodges a soft-close and I continue to banter, should I try again to move towards the close or wait for her to bring it up?

 

[DoWhatWorks]

3) Take it easy on the hard pushes and over using persistence

If she dodges a soft-close and I continue to banter, should I try again to move towards the close or wait for her to bring it up?

@SunKing & @TomInHo advice is spot on.

To your last point if a girl doesn’t bite after the soft close assume she’s not available so end the interaction in a socially graceful way that leaves her texting last so you can Ping again in a week.

My personal rule is I don’t try & arrange a date more than 2-3 times regardless of her investment level.

Example:

You: Be cool to get that drink sometime

Her: Would love to but super busy with family who’ve came to visit

You: Nice, have fun & don’t get them too drunk

Her: Hahaah thanks I’ll try! Enjoy your weekend

*No reply from you until you ping her later*

That’s how persistence is done right.

 

[Skills]

You did ok, one thing you are notvdoing is not pausing to read the texts and then respond to her questions... she said her name was sarah, there u should have answer with, yeah i remember ur name sarah aka linda, i am shawn your next upcomming heart tattoo, i know the memes come from pwf, i am personally not a fan of memes.... she also ask you for your birthday and u did not answer... my point is pay attention to the text and answer with a bit of flirt... u are doing good, your text were not boring, also wait for replies and just use the morning or eyes pings i recommend. Why you guys cant replicate the correct word " at the gym trying to get fit and jacked for our upcomming date" .... you are doing good just need more practice... read my post on morning ping and how to deal with flakes and radio silence...also read the soft close post.... you jump the soft close stuff...

 

[Skills]

I agree with @SunKing your texting is way too chasey and overeager. So worrying about a pull back is not in the question because you have noting to pull back from

I know we all have different texting styles but there are some things I think you could improve

1) Rectify Power Imbalances

If you look closely, you can see that she is dominating the frame by making you qualify to her

Her: I like the peacock girl thing, blah,blah blah, I don't remember you
You: I was wearing my heart on my sleeve

Her stating that should have alerted you that she thinks she is better than you. And you rewarded her by supplicating and showing you like her more than she likes you. Sarcasm doesn't translate well over text if that was your intention so be more wary about not rewarding her indifference

A better response could have been

You: Yeah! You were pretty smashed when I was talking to you and your asian friend. But good to know you made it out alive

It's more neutral and paces her response

And further in the interaction you want to shift the frame to where you are qualifying her

2) Add more intrigue before soft closing

Another thing noticed was that you go for the soft close without building any curiosity in her. So because she is not invested in the interaction it is easy for her to ghost you

Because after you sent the Gosling Meme you went straight for the soft close again....BAD

She ghosted you for a reason so you need to build some investment before going for the close again. So better response could have been

You: My weekend has been one to remember. Spent quality time with an old friend and just wrapped up a gym session to get fit for an important event. How about yours?

This is better because it gives her options and get her mind spinning. Why is his weekend one to remember? Quality time with an old friend, could it be a guy or girl? He's working out for an important event... I wonder what it is?

So many options to spin off and build more investment from her, while also framing you as a guy that actually has a life... WIN WIN

3) Take it easy on the hard pushes and over using persistence

Persistence is definitely an important trait to implement into your text game, but you have to understand why you use it. Because if you're using it too much it means that your texts are coming off as boring, try-hard, over-eager or lacking direction.

So whenever you need to persist, always assume you made a mistake and try not to make it again in the next round of texting using the format Banter > Soft Close > Hard Close

You are one of the dudes that gets and explain the method the best, good job...

 

[Skills]

@SunKing & @TomInHo advice is spot on.

To your last point if a girl doesn’t bite after the soft close assume she’s not available so end the interaction in a socially graceful way that leaves her texting last so you can Ping again in a week.

My personal rule is I don’t try & arrange a date more than 2-3 times regardless of her investment level.

Example:

You: Be cool to get that drink sometime

Her: Would love to but super busy with family who’ve came to visit

You: Nice, have fun & don’t get them too drunk

Her: Hahaah thanks I’ll try! Enjoy your weekend

*No reply from you until you ping her later*

That’s how persistence is done right.

Correct