how to reply to her "not wanting to waste my time"?

[greenjade816]

this is a girl i met from night game, number closed, as she was with her only other friend and i had no wing so i couldnt isolate her...
after a failed soft close/maybe hard close haha as i asked for a schedule, i was left on read, i send her the infamous "if you're too nervous, i'd understand" (credit to playing with fire) only to get her: "it's not that i just dont want to waste your time"
how would you go about this? i was thinking calling her out by saying somthing along the lines of her being attracted in the first place otherwise she wouldn't have responded me... thoughts?

 

[Skills]

She is telling you she is not interested

 

[greenjade816]

She is telling you she is not interested

it turns out she's just not looking for a relationship, i soft closed by saying "cool i think we're on the same page then. how do you feel about splitting some mojitos together?"

her: "that sounds lovely to me"

i then asked what days she's free and she hasnt responded... still not interested? or just too busy this week

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

So she tried to soft reject, and is now trying to reject through inaction.

And all done by text.

Imo, She's 0.5 out of 10 interested and approaching zero, negative shortly.

We weren't there for the number grab, but so far nothing here looks like she was super keen and just has a scheduling issues.

You can obviously keep going, but there are no silver bullets, especially over text.

 

[greenjade816]

she responded just now over 2.5hrs saying shes free saturday night (was probably checking if her other leads are open). i guess persistence does pay off for now...
but i know a flake is always highly possible given how shes acted so far

 

[Skills]

she responded just now over 2.5hrs saying shes free saturday night (was probably checking if her other leads are open). i guess persistence does pay off for now...
but i know a flake is always highly possible given how shes acted so far

Or was probably busy good job you flipped her..

 

[orkie123]

she responded just now over 2.5hrs saying shes free saturday night (was probably checking if her other leads are open). i guess persistence does pay off for now...
but i know a flake is always highly possible given how shes acted so far

Nicely done, I think no matter the outcome, you managed to find out what her concern was and do your best to remove the objection.

But seriously context is everything on how long it takes for someone to reply. If a girl responds every 5 mins consistently for couple of days, then suddenly its always taking hours, sure you can see that something has changed. But if a girl that has only ever spoken to you for a few minutes in RL is responding, even if sometimes it takes days is a good sign. 2.5 hrs? Some people have lives (or cba to respond cos they are too busy watching funny short #345)

 

[fog]

It’s not unusual behavior for a certain type of girl to want to clarify expectations with a man

When faced with expectation setting early on, you have 3 options:

1. Screen yourself out by interpreting it as rejection
2. Explore each other’s expectations and screen each other out because you don’t meet each other’s expectations
3. Screen yourself in by strategically establishing mutuality

greenjade has screened himself in by asking into her expectations and then establishing mutuality, which allowed him to progress to her agreeing to a date for Saturday. In other words, he acted like a guy this girl finds herself with. I’ll be curious to see if it goes through. I'd look at any flakiness from her as a value issue

 

[greenjade816]

sorry to disappoint boys, she flaked eventually. she sent me a text the night prior apologizing that she wouldn't be able to make it, and asked if we could postpone perhaps and i just said no worries...

honestly i saw this coming, it most definitely is a value issue. i didn't make a good impression when i was getting her number. i wasn't expecting to go out that night so i didnt really dress on point, but probably also had to do with my deliver too, not as man to woman...

her saying not wanting to waste my time was probably because i was also too friendly during our text exchanges making her thinking i was going to wine and dine her or something so when i tried to play it cool by saying im not looking for anything serious, it was very heavy incongruence on my end.

to be frank when we finally confirmed the date, i thought maybe this is it, i might not end up getting flaked on anyways... because i had to go through so many hurdles lol... she kept on saying she'll be off from work and is gonna be tired and that she's worried i wont have as much fun, and asked if i could put up with her bad mood, etc...

either way, she's really cute and is my type so i will probably persist again, i don't think i have anything to lose but gain in this scenario

 

[Skills]

this is a girl i met from night game, number closed, as she was with her only other friend and i had no wing so i couldnt isolate her...
after a failed soft close/maybe hard close haha as i asked for a schedule, i was left on read, i send her the infamous "if you're too nervous, i'd understand" (credit to playing with fire) only to get her: "it's not that i just dont want to waste your time"
how would you go about this? i was thinking calling her out by saying somthing along the lines of her being attracted in the first place otherwise she wouldn't have responded me... thoughts?

Well, if you notice here there is something you can learn if you fail in the soft close, you don't go then and ask for schedule, you start from 0 so you don't work from negative compliance... Because is low odds as you witness right here, which is why i was surprised you flipped it... though sometimes it could works is not really the best let me show you:

open>banter>soft close = here she gives negative compliance and you plow is lower odds (sometimes it works) pwf those this a lot, (i do teach it but i dont like it), i teach it for guys that hate texting...

open>banter>soft close if negative compliance start back from 0, at high point of interaction soft close> then only if the soft close is positive hard close is betters odds...and avoids flakiness more...(i barely get flakes back in the days never got flakes now a days i get a tiny more but minimal)

P.s. Next time post complete interaction for context....

 

[greenjade816]

Well, if you notice here there is something you can learn if you fail in the soft close, you don't go then and ask for schedule, you start from 0 so you don't work from negative compliance... Because is low odds as you witness right here, which is why i was surprised you flipped it... though sometimes it could works is not really the best let me show you:

open>banter>soft close = here she gives negative compliance and you plow is lower odds (sometimes it works) pwf those this a lot, (i do teach it but i dont like it), i teach it for guys that hate texting...

open>banter>soft close if negative compliance start back from 0, at high point of interaction soft close> then only if the soft close is positive hard close is betters odds...and avoids flakiness more...(i barely get flakes back in the days never got flakes now a days i get a tiny more but minimal)

P.s. Next time post complete interaction for context....

i dont think im allowed to upload pictures, cause im too lazy to type out the texts lol