- Joined
- Oct 8, 2015
- Messages
- 507
Sup gents -
Hope you are all having a good start to the week. I have a quick little tactic to share today.
Sometimes when my wit is just on fire for whatever reason, girls will bring up how smooth I am. This can be a good thing if you can tell the girl is enthralled by it, but it can also be the girl framing you as a playboy trying hard to get in her pants, and by pointing it out she is framing herself as above you and resistant.
I used to never know how to respond to the latter girls. At first I would qualify myself by trying to act even more smooth and steamroll them with my acuity, but of course that plays into their frame and cements you as chasing them. Then I started trying the opposite by laughing and defusing the tension and dialing down the wit, but that is no fun and is reactive. I eventually settled on cocky, skeptical nonverbals and then a thread cut which is good, but I think I now have something better:
"Nah, I'm actually very rough"
The way you say it is matter of fact, a self-deprecating personal reflection more than you trying to convince her. But you also give her strong eye contact and a faint smile. You then pause and let the tension build for a couple seconds before getting back to the original conversation (a tactic known as fractionation, Alek has some excellent articles on it).
Downplaying her frame reasserts yourself as the one in command while also showcasing humility, except you are simultaneously making a sexual innuendo, which in fact is very smooth, and shows you own this aspect of yourself (as well as owning your tastes in the bedroom).
Enjoy!
Hope you are all having a good start to the week. I have a quick little tactic to share today.
Sometimes when my wit is just on fire for whatever reason, girls will bring up how smooth I am. This can be a good thing if you can tell the girl is enthralled by it, but it can also be the girl framing you as a playboy trying hard to get in her pants, and by pointing it out she is framing herself as above you and resistant.
I used to never know how to respond to the latter girls. At first I would qualify myself by trying to act even more smooth and steamroll them with my acuity, but of course that plays into their frame and cements you as chasing them. Then I started trying the opposite by laughing and defusing the tension and dialing down the wit, but that is no fun and is reactive. I eventually settled on cocky, skeptical nonverbals and then a thread cut which is good, but I think I now have something better:
"Nah, I'm actually very rough"
The way you say it is matter of fact, a self-deprecating personal reflection more than you trying to convince her. But you also give her strong eye contact and a faint smile. You then pause and let the tension build for a couple seconds before getting back to the original conversation (a tactic known as fractionation, Alek has some excellent articles on it).
Downplaying her frame reasserts yourself as the one in command while also showcasing humility, except you are simultaneously making a sexual innuendo, which in fact is very smooth, and shows you own this aspect of yourself (as well as owning your tastes in the bedroom).
Enjoy!
