- Joined
- Nov 21, 2021
- Messages
- 337
I'm not sure if this fits in the FU section, as you'll see below.
Anyway, I met this cute chic a month ago in a supermarket. Had a brief interaction but she was into me I guess. I just opened with my name with a winky face over text but she wrote a whole paragraph about how she enjoyed our conversation. However, without good text game I would've spoiled it.
Some of you here might know that I have been struggling with text game for a long time and have lost a lot of girls but finally with a lot of trial and error, help from PWF and @Skills ' (thanks man) texting advice, I was able to get the girl out. I think this was my first success to get a girl out on date with good text game. All my previous dates and lays have come through instant dates and texts where the girl also wasn't into texting or she was super into me right off the bat with open > hard close.
After a lot of conflicting schedules, we finally met today in a chic restaurant near my apartment. I invited her directly to my apartment over text but she refused and said "she doesn't go to guys' house on the first date". I think this created premeditated resistance before she even met me today. She was uptight ever since I asked her to come over to my place.
She was 5 mins earlier than me and was sitting in the restaurant. I went and greeted her with a hug. We were sitting across each other for the first 5 mins and then I suggested we move to the table nearby with tall stools where we can sit next to each other and we went sat there.
With some teasing and touching, she became more relaxed and comfortable quickly. I was just looking for an opportunity to segue into sex talk but couldn't for almost 30-40 mins and then I remembered a sexual meme that I had sent over text which she didn't like. I brought that up and started talking about sex and there was no resistance to it. I asked her why she didn't like the meme and in her opinion sex is something that you don't take lightly or as a joke or do it casually. I agreed with her and said, ya there needs to be chemistry and connection otherwise there is no fun. There must be passion in sex and just not a physical activity and she agreed. I also said, it's sad how society has stigmatized sex and made it a taboo that women can't enjoy having sex freely to which she totally agreed. Then I went on to explain how women are anatomically designed better to enjoy sex than men etc. This went on for another 10-15 mins.
Suddenly she started resisting the idea of casual sex and didn't like the idea of casual sex anymore since she had done that in the past and it only led her to hurt feelings where she's dependant on the other person only for sex and there's nothing else in the relationship and she couldn't even leave the relationship cos she was so invested. She was having unhealthy attachments and due to oxytocin release, she felt bonded etc. I tried to pull her back to my frame saying, maybe she didn't have chemistry and she was with wrong people. Good sex would involve emotions and passion. She realized what I was getting at and she continued to disagree and started to show resistance. I thought it'd be too much if I push any further and thought I'll just bounce. So, I said let's go for a walk and we left after I paid up.
Outside the restaurant I asked her ideal sexual world? She said she doesn't know for which I replied, if you don't like certain aspects of sex, there must be aspects that you think would be ideal. She again said she hasn't thought about that. I should've dropped it there and changed the subject but since she was responding, I continued with "you should be thinking of what you want, if you know what you don't want".
She was super annoyed all of a sudden and retaliated saying, "I told you I don't know and you keep asking me the same and I'm not going to answer you". She looked really angry. I tried to calm her down by laughing it off and pulled her to hug her but she pushed me away. Until this point, there was lot of touching, so it was not awkward for me to hug her. Then I went quiet for a minute and changed the subject and started talking about her recent travel. She started answering in one word. I looked at her and said, "are you going to be like this for the rest of the evening?" She didn't say anything.
So I told her if she's going to be like this, we should just stop here and go back. She said, "but you wanted to go for a walk?". I told her that I'm not having fun if she's going to be like this and I don't like it for which she told, all evening I'm only talking about her and didn't tell her anything about me and I've been asking a lot of questions and she doesn't know anything about me and this is why she's annoyed.
It came as a surprise to me since I didn't think she wanted to know about me cos whenever I asked her something, she just answered and never asked me anything back. I did tell a few things about me but she apparently felt like I was directing the conversation back to her always (which I indeed was). Anyway, I told her that she didn't ask me anything about me and so I didn't talk a lot about myself. I also told, I used to be someone who'd talk a lot about myself when I was younger and now I enjoy knowing about others. Then she started teasing playfully that I've gone to the other extreme. I also playfully called her out that she didn't ask anything about me and it's an awkward conversation if I only asked her questions and also tell about myself without her asking me anything.
After this, she got back to normal mood and asked me to tell me a few things about my adventures, my travel etc. I told her a few crazy stories of my travels and she was enjoying it. I knew she's not going to come back to my place after all that happened and thought I'd at least go for a makeout and I can turn around the situation. We were sitting at the harbour on a bench and by this point I had got super comfortable touching her and I slowed down my voice and looked into her eyes and brushed her hair across her face and I slowly started running my fingers through her hair and she knew what was coming and resisted slightly. To soften the awkwardness, I asked if she doesn't like her hair touched and she said no that's fine it's just our first date. I knew at this point it's over and there is no more seduction left. I could've just left but continued teasing about how cute she's when she's angry and it's funny and she was playing along for a while but she wanted to leave and I was done as well. So, we left from the harbour and walked to her car park and I just tested to see if she's up for second date with some future projection but I couldn't read whether she was in or out, hugged and bid goodbye. Date lasted for nearly 2 hrs.
Overall, there were a few wins:
1. My text game has improved. I'm able to get a girl out on a date.
2. I turned around the awkward situation when she got angry
3. It ended better than what it could've been
4. I'm rusted after covid and this is perhaps the first time I felt like I'm back in my good form
However, I have a few things which is bothering me:
1. If the girl already knows that she can't be seduced with her strong resistance to lover frame, is there anything that I can still do?
2. When she told me that how she has been in such relationships and has been hurt, I actually felt bad doing more damage to her. It's perhaps the nice guy in me thinking that way but I genuinely felt that I should leave someone in a better position than they were already and not make them feel bad later. Maybe I'm missing something?
Anyway, I met this cute chic a month ago in a supermarket. Had a brief interaction but she was into me I guess. I just opened with my name with a winky face over text but she wrote a whole paragraph about how she enjoyed our conversation. However, without good text game I would've spoiled it.
Some of you here might know that I have been struggling with text game for a long time and have lost a lot of girls but finally with a lot of trial and error, help from PWF and @Skills ' (thanks man) texting advice, I was able to get the girl out. I think this was my first success to get a girl out on date with good text game. All my previous dates and lays have come through instant dates and texts where the girl also wasn't into texting or she was super into me right off the bat with open > hard close.
After a lot of conflicting schedules, we finally met today in a chic restaurant near my apartment. I invited her directly to my apartment over text but she refused and said "she doesn't go to guys' house on the first date". I think this created premeditated resistance before she even met me today. She was uptight ever since I asked her to come over to my place.
She was 5 mins earlier than me and was sitting in the restaurant. I went and greeted her with a hug. We were sitting across each other for the first 5 mins and then I suggested we move to the table nearby with tall stools where we can sit next to each other and we went sat there.
With some teasing and touching, she became more relaxed and comfortable quickly. I was just looking for an opportunity to segue into sex talk but couldn't for almost 30-40 mins and then I remembered a sexual meme that I had sent over text which she didn't like. I brought that up and started talking about sex and there was no resistance to it. I asked her why she didn't like the meme and in her opinion sex is something that you don't take lightly or as a joke or do it casually. I agreed with her and said, ya there needs to be chemistry and connection otherwise there is no fun. There must be passion in sex and just not a physical activity and she agreed. I also said, it's sad how society has stigmatized sex and made it a taboo that women can't enjoy having sex freely to which she totally agreed. Then I went on to explain how women are anatomically designed better to enjoy sex than men etc. This went on for another 10-15 mins.
Suddenly she started resisting the idea of casual sex and didn't like the idea of casual sex anymore since she had done that in the past and it only led her to hurt feelings where she's dependant on the other person only for sex and there's nothing else in the relationship and she couldn't even leave the relationship cos she was so invested. She was having unhealthy attachments and due to oxytocin release, she felt bonded etc. I tried to pull her back to my frame saying, maybe she didn't have chemistry and she was with wrong people. Good sex would involve emotions and passion. She realized what I was getting at and she continued to disagree and started to show resistance. I thought it'd be too much if I push any further and thought I'll just bounce. So, I said let's go for a walk and we left after I paid up.
Outside the restaurant I asked her ideal sexual world? She said she doesn't know for which I replied, if you don't like certain aspects of sex, there must be aspects that you think would be ideal. She again said she hasn't thought about that. I should've dropped it there and changed the subject but since she was responding, I continued with "you should be thinking of what you want, if you know what you don't want".
She was super annoyed all of a sudden and retaliated saying, "I told you I don't know and you keep asking me the same and I'm not going to answer you". She looked really angry. I tried to calm her down by laughing it off and pulled her to hug her but she pushed me away. Until this point, there was lot of touching, so it was not awkward for me to hug her. Then I went quiet for a minute and changed the subject and started talking about her recent travel. She started answering in one word. I looked at her and said, "are you going to be like this for the rest of the evening?" She didn't say anything.
So I told her if she's going to be like this, we should just stop here and go back. She said, "but you wanted to go for a walk?". I told her that I'm not having fun if she's going to be like this and I don't like it for which she told, all evening I'm only talking about her and didn't tell her anything about me and I've been asking a lot of questions and she doesn't know anything about me and this is why she's annoyed.
It came as a surprise to me since I didn't think she wanted to know about me cos whenever I asked her something, she just answered and never asked me anything back. I did tell a few things about me but she apparently felt like I was directing the conversation back to her always (which I indeed was). Anyway, I told her that she didn't ask me anything about me and so I didn't talk a lot about myself. I also told, I used to be someone who'd talk a lot about myself when I was younger and now I enjoy knowing about others. Then she started teasing playfully that I've gone to the other extreme. I also playfully called her out that she didn't ask anything about me and it's an awkward conversation if I only asked her questions and also tell about myself without her asking me anything.
After this, she got back to normal mood and asked me to tell me a few things about my adventures, my travel etc. I told her a few crazy stories of my travels and she was enjoying it. I knew she's not going to come back to my place after all that happened and thought I'd at least go for a makeout and I can turn around the situation. We were sitting at the harbour on a bench and by this point I had got super comfortable touching her and I slowed down my voice and looked into her eyes and brushed her hair across her face and I slowly started running my fingers through her hair and she knew what was coming and resisted slightly. To soften the awkwardness, I asked if she doesn't like her hair touched and she said no that's fine it's just our first date. I knew at this point it's over and there is no more seduction left. I could've just left but continued teasing about how cute she's when she's angry and it's funny and she was playing along for a while but she wanted to leave and I was done as well. So, we left from the harbour and walked to her car park and I just tested to see if she's up for second date with some future projection but I couldn't read whether she was in or out, hugged and bid goodbye. Date lasted for nearly 2 hrs.
Overall, there were a few wins:
1. My text game has improved. I'm able to get a girl out on a date.
2. I turned around the awkward situation when she got angry
3. It ended better than what it could've been
4. I'm rusted after covid and this is perhaps the first time I felt like I'm back in my good form
However, I have a few things which is bothering me:
1. If the girl already knows that she can't be seduced with her strong resistance to lover frame, is there anything that I can still do?
2. When she told me that how she has been in such relationships and has been hurt, I actually felt bad doing more damage to her. It's perhaps the nice guy in me thinking that way but I genuinely felt that I should leave someone in a better position than they were already and not make them feel bad later. Maybe I'm missing something?
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