how to set the right goals for your level of game?

[mike james]

I have trouble setting specific goals for myself.

First off, I think you guys should know couple of things about me:

Never had a GF
virgin
approached hundreds of girls, so I have almost none approach anxiety
kissed 2 girls in my life

Of course, I know that I need to get as much xp as I can ASAP, but I have trouble escalating and closing.

Due to my job and other life activities, Im not so flexible and able to do night game more than once per week.

Im working on my IG profile, and its almost done, but thats not fruitful source of experience and results for me.

I have done my first 100 approaches on the street (daygame), but I havent got tangible results except from massive transformation in confidence, and calmness (which are good things but not actual results with girls i.e. kissing, fucking, dates, relationships...)

On my uni, Im pretty popular, and since is 90% girls there, I had a lot of easy opportunities, but I didnt capitalize because of my limiting beliefs, and wrong mindsets. Thankfully, I have identified them, and now I need to start getting that tangible results.

Since my biggest obstacle is escalating and closing, what is your idea of setting goals to overcome this?

For example my last month goals were:

2 kiss closes
2 dates
3 IGs every week
go out once a week

Goal for the night out was - try to kiss 1 girl i.e. lean in to kiss her.


I completed half of them, but im not that satisfied, since I know there is a lot more for me.

Do you have some ideas on how to set specific goals, or some advice regarding this post?

Thanks for reading.

 

[Mikedee]

Do you have some ideas on how to set specific goals, or some advice regarding this post?

Don't try to do everything at once—think of this as a marathon, not a sprint. Here’s a simple plan:

1. Write down your goals.
2. List three activities under each goal that will help you achieve it.
3. Rank the activities by difficulty:
   • 1 = Easiest (something you're already doing or can start right away).
   • 2 = Medium difficulty (requires effort but doable).
   • 3 = Hardest (a real challenge that pushes you).

Now, group all your 1s, 2s, and 3s together.

For the first week, focus only on your 1s—start small and build confidence. Once you’ve mastered those, move on to the 2s, and then the 3s when you're ready.

Take it step by step, and you’ll make real progress.

 

[KJ Francis]

Given your situation, I would do:

Goal 1: maintain a high level of approaching

Goal 2: since you are at high volume, ensure you're teasing, touching, and physically moving girls like a few feet out the way of the sidewalk, hallway, etc.

Goal 3: proposing the date to every girl who hooks (this can be your measured key performance indicator - ratio of proposals to approaches... and secondary ratio of date she shows up to vs. approaches). contact information is simply in service to this, and only after she accepts.

 

[Will_V]

I have trouble setting specific goals for myself.

First off, I think you guys should know couple of things about me:

Never had a GF
virgin
approached hundreds of girls, so I have almost none approach anxiety
kissed 2 girls in my life

Of course, I know that I need to get as much xp as I can ASAP, but I have trouble escalating and closing.

Due to my job and other life activities, Im not so flexible and able to do night game more than once per week.

Im working on my IG profile, and its almost done, but thats not fruitful source of experience and results for me.

I have done my first 100 approaches on the street (daygame), but I havent got tangible results except from massive transformation in confidence, and calmness (which are good things but not actual results with girls i.e. kissing, fucking, dates, relationships...)

On my uni, Im pretty popular, and since is 90% girls there, I had a lot of easy opportunities, but I didnt capitalize because of my limiting beliefs, and wrong mindsets. Thankfully, I have identified them, and now I need to start getting that tangible results.

Since my biggest obstacle is escalating and closing, what is your idea of setting goals to overcome this?

For example my last month goals were:

2 kiss closes
2 dates
3 IGs every week
go out once a week

Goal for the night out was - try to kiss 1 girl i.e. lean in to kiss her.


I completed half of them, but im not that satisfied, since I know there is a lot more for me.

Do you have some ideas on how to set specific goals, or some advice regarding this post?

Thanks for reading.

Focus on the end goal. The end goal is to have her in your bed.

What are the key steps to get from approach -> sex?

1. Approach and get a conversation started
2. Grab the number
3. Set up a date on text
4. <On the date> escalate and set a sexual frame
5. Pull
6. <At home> transition to sex.

These are the critical ones because it's easy to get stuck on any of them from lack of experience or knowledge. They represent transition points where you are asking her to commit, in a big or small way, to the possibility of sex.

What you want to do is make sure you are improving at all of them (or at least the ones you can reach right now).

1. More approaches are turning into conversations
2. More conversations end with getting the number
3. More texting turns into dates
4. You're consistently adding a sexual vibe and frame during dates
5. More girls are coming home with you when you suggest it on the date
6. More girls are having sex with you once they're home with you.

Or to look at it another way, the achievements are the number of:

1. Numbers
2. Dates
3. Pulls
4. Lays

you get in proportion to the number of approaches you make.

If you are doing lots of approaches but getting no numbers, that's one sticking point. If you're getting lots of numbers but no dates, that's another one. And so on.

Everything about the way you approach learning game should be focused on results and incrementally moving your average success along the series of steps that take you there.

 

[POB]

I have trouble setting specific goals for myself.

First off, I think you guys should know couple of things about me:

Never had a GF
virgin
approached hundreds of girls, so I have almost none approach anxiety
kissed 2 girls in my life

Of course, I know that I need to get as much xp as I can ASAP, but I have trouble escalating and closing.

Due to my job and other life activities, Im not so flexible and able to do night game more than once per week.

Im working on my IG profile, and its almost done, but thats not fruitful source of experience and results for me.

I have done my first 100 approaches on the street (daygame), but I havent got tangible results except from massive transformation in confidence, and calmness (which are good things but not actual results with girls i.e. kissing, fucking, dates, relationships...)

On my uni, Im pretty popular, and since is 90% girls there, I had a lot of easy opportunities, but I didnt capitalize because of my limiting beliefs, and wrong mindsets. Thankfully, I have identified them, and now I need to start getting that tangible results.

Since my biggest obstacle is escalating and closing, what is your idea of setting goals to overcome this?

For example my last month goals were:

2 kiss closes
2 dates
3 IGs every week
go out once a week

Goal for the night out was - try to kiss 1 girl i.e. lean in to kiss her.


I completed half of them, but im not that satisfied, since I know there is a lot more for me.

Do you have some ideas on how to set specific goals, or some advice regarding this post?

Thanks for reading.

How old are you?

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Do you have some ideas on how to set specific goals, or some advice regarding this post?

Great post.

Before you set specific goals, clarify what you really want?

• Are you building a pick up artist skill set?
• Are you looking to be the most popular guy on campus?
• Are you looking for a social circle that gives you more access/exposure to the type of girls you like?
• Are you just trying to put P into V the most efficient way possible?
• etc

These are all similar paths, but not the same.

The PUA skillset, imo, is best learned in scenarios with music, alcohol, density of girls, and relative anonymity.

Being a popular guy on campus, is mostly about building a social circle, and funneling people outside of the circle into scenarios where you're top dog.

That's similar to getting into "good social" circles - but maybe you're thing is Goth Girls. Being the most popular guy on campus doesn't necessarily translate to being the most powerful guy in a specific sub group

If you're just trying to get laid - it's a combination of looks maxing, positioning yourself, and going to social spaces/events where guards are down, and basically brute force/numbers game - and refining your approach that way. (which again, is very similar to the PUA skill set, but not exactly the same one). So a PUA might frequent spots where there's a dance floor, but also quieter areas to run more verbal game - smaller clubs and bars.

If you're just trying to smash - the game is less about verbals and bringing the chick through a behavioral system, and more like ramping primal urges - so Spring Break, Mega Clubs, Vegas, Calgary Stampede, EDM events...

All these "goals" are NOT iron clad rules - just guidelines and a STRUCTURED way to think about the game, because I (and most folks that do PUA, in my experience) come from a STEM background, and want control variables and experimental variables. Hypotheses and testing...

You want to know that you're getting better, in an area of life where that's not really possible (i.e. numbers and stats don't truly mean anything), and everything is pretty subjective.

To drill down on the basics of P into V from cold approach...

Do I know where and when your specific type of girl is?

• Do I know how to dress and behave in that environment?

Do I have a logistical plan in place for when things go right?

• I know how to get there
• I know where to park
• I know where's a good place between the venue and my final location
• Is my final location free from obstacles - Mom, Family, Roomies, Dogs, Nosy Neighbors
• Is my bathroom surgically clean?
• Do I have snacks/refreshments?
• Does my place smell good?
• Did I make my bed?

Am I over approach anxiety?

• Am I over escalation anxiety
  • Can I verbally escalate?
    • flirt
      • overtly sexual
    • tell her to move someplace
  • Can I physically escalate?
    • put my hands on her?
    • having her longing for my touch?
  • Can I logistically escalate?
    • tell her to move to a new location
      • in the venue
      • home

Can I detect girls that are into me, before I talk to them?

• Can I detect girls that are "good to go", before I talk to them?

Can I start a non-verbal interaction, before I start talking to

• One girl
• One girl in a group

Can I start a small chat with a single girl?

• Can I do that with two girls?
  • Can I play one girl off the other
  • Can I deal with one girl that's not into the conversation
• With 3 or more girls?
  • get one girl to invest, 2 girls, all of them
  • deal with the girl that's not into the conversation
  • Deal with the girl that's actively cockblocking/trying to throw sand into the gears
• With a mixed set including guys (gay and straight)
  • Can I even walk up to a group that has guys in it?
  • Can I deal with his/their presence?
  • Can I acknowledge them?
  • Can I befriend?
  • Can I defuse?
  • Can I AMOG?
  • Can I lead this group

Do I have improvisation/openers/fireworks material or behaviors that turn innocent chats into something interesting?

• Can I tell a story
• Can I tell a joke
  • can I get emotional investment that's not funny, but is still engaging?
• Can I make an observation
• Can I ask a question
• Can I make a statement that provokes
• Can I say something that's sorta negative, but bring it back
• Can I start a conversation on 1 thread, drop that thread, and then come back to it?
• Can I steer the conversation away from bad topics?
• Can I steer the conversation to good topics?

Can I "borrow" the girl of interest and take her away from the group?

Can I touch and go, to build physical comfort?
Can I introduce the girl to my friends, to 3rd parties?

Can I dance?

Will I sing? Will she sing along?

Can I engage in these new skills/new behaviors/new version of myself, unconsciously?

• Can I get out of the zone and still get the results I want?

Can I shift out of thinking logically and responding logically, and into responding socially and emotionally?

In terms of milestones - the list is arbitrary and the #'s aren't set in stone, but I'd base this on my sense of difficulty.

• First successful open - not just talking to some random, but getting into a good conversation - the social hook point - 1 outta 10
• First Social Media - lowest of bars - 2 outta 10
• First Phone # - 3 outta 10
  • First contact information that turns into an actual meet up - 8 outta 10 - emphasis because this is one of the hardest things to do in cold approach, especially these days.
    • Actually going out with a chick because you got her IG is prolly 8.5 to 9 - because so many things can go wrong - but if they go right, your psychological effect on the girl is so strong that it cuts through a lot of the typical reasons she gets bored.
• First Kiss - 4 outta 10
• First Makeout - 5 outta 10
• First Club Exit post make out - 6 outta 10
• First Hook Up post club exit - 7 outta 10
• First "really hot girl" hook up - really hot defined as someone that you think is "out of your league" - 8 outta 10.

....

Pick Up/Meeting and then Bedding Girls in short time frames - is as simple or as complicated as you want it to be.

If you're like me, and somehow gravitate towards complexity, then pick up can get fairly esoteric, especially when you bring Day Game, Night Game, Social Circle, Dating Apps, Social Media Game, Passport Game, Lifestyle game....

Or it can be really simple, where you generate good feelings in yourself, spread love, and then grab up the cuties that respond.

It's up to you.

WIA

 

[Water]

I have trouble setting specific goals for myself.

First off, I think you guys should know couple of things about me:

Never had a GF
virgin
approached hundreds of girls, so I have almost none approach anxiety
kissed 2 girls in my life

Of course, I know that I need to get as much xp as I can ASAP, but I have trouble escalating and closing.

Due to my job and other life activities, Im not so flexible and able to do night game more than once per week.

Im working on my IG profile, and its almost done, but thats not fruitful source of experience and results for me.

I have done my first 100 approaches on the street (daygame), but I havent got tangible results except from massive transformation in confidence, and calmness (which are good things but not actual results with girls i.e. kissing, fucking, dates, relationships...)

On my uni, Im pretty popular, and since is 90% girls there, I had a lot of easy opportunities, but I didnt capitalize because of my limiting beliefs, and wrong mindsets. Thankfully, I have identified them, and now I need to start getting that tangible results.

Since my biggest obstacle is escalating and closing, what is your idea of setting goals to overcome this?

For example my last month goals were:

2 kiss closes
2 dates
3 IGs every week
go out once a week

Goal for the night out was - try to kiss 1 girl i.e. lean in to kiss her.


I completed half of them, but im not that satisfied, since I know there is a lot more for me.

Do you have some ideas on how to set specific goals, or some advice regarding this post?

Thanks for reading.

I’m about to make a post on this topic, here was a comprehensive method towards approaching this that i learned years ago and was taught to coach it

 

[Water]

Posted.

Hope this helps

Identify your strengths and weaknesses.

I learned this way of approaching game on a private forum, one of the big name coaches taught me this and I was also given permission to coach this topic so I should be able to give constructive advice. Anyways each of these areas you need to rate yourself 1-10, then write why you believe you...

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