How to start an Open Relationship

[Chrance]

Recently I had an SNL, and this is a woman I'd prefer to see regularly, around once a week or so. We've already hanged out one time after the first night. My goal with this relationship is to have an open relationship, where I go out and see other woman, and she can see other guys; and I'd like this relationship to last 3-6 months. The reason is (if it isn't obvious) that I'd like to continue sarging and having more women in my life

Right now this tone has not been set. It is just the very beginning of a normal sexual relationship. In the past I set this tone before with a woman, where after the second time we had sex, she asked me if I was a "player" and I said "Actually yeah, I am." and that was enough to make it clear to her what I was about. Interestingly she never slept with anyone else, and eventually she had to leave the US, so I have not had to experience any open relationship drama or jealousy yet. But with this new women I am expecting these things to happen, since I am only used to either (1) the standard boyfriend/girlfriend situation or (2) seeing a women maybe 2-4 times, then dumping her so as to avoid any possible open relationship (i.e. i'm cheating on you) drama.

So I am wondering:
(1) How do you all set the tone for an open relationship?
(2) What kind of drama and jealousy am I expected to experience in such a relationship and how do I manage it?
(3) Should I just keep it to myself that I am seeing other people (or trying to see other people) or should I be very clear about everything I do sexually or is there some middle ground?
(4) What are some common rookie mistakes or avoid-at-all cost things I should be aware about when starting an open relationship?

I do not mind doing the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. It is what I am most comfortable with. I've had relationships where I totally kept it a secret that I was sarging and fucking new women; and I've had a relationship where it was very clear what I was doing. The former relationship had more stability since there was no awareness of cheating, but came with the guilt of dishonesty. The latter relationship had more honesty and clarity, but came with more instability and jealousy on the part of the woman (and even in myself to a small degree). These days I prefer to just be straight with the woman. Is this smart or stupid? I'm not too sure!

All comments, stories and suggestions are welcome!!

 

[Regal Tiger]

From my experience it's best to continue as Chase typically advises: keep it casual at first. Then gradually bump it up if you want.

That means you treat it like a fuck buddy relationship for a few weeks as you get to know her. Then if you like her, take her out a few times. As you spend more time together inside and outside the bedroom it cements in her mind as a relationship and she starts to question it.

Then she will start asking if you're seeing anybody. Try to ignore this at first with some funny comments if you can (don't worry babe, you're in my top 50 followed by a hug/kiss/changing the subject/all of the above). But after around 2-4 months (depending on the girl) you won't be able to dodge anymore.

That's where you talk about how you enjoy your freedom and you really like her and want to keep her in your life. But you're a man still trying to figure things out for himself (because this sounds like where you're at, but if it's not then change the message to suit your actual thoughts).

Sometimes women will accept it right away, other times they'll need to think about it. Either way make it clear that:
1) You want to continue seeing other women
2) You want her in your life and you like her (if she's particularly insecure you can go a little further mentioning specific things you like about her)
3) You are extremely understanding if she's at a different phase in her life and will be sad to see her go if that's her choice
4) She has the freedom to choose

I've only had this talk and similar ones with a few women that I actually wanted to date. In my experience they just kinda let it sink in and might even get a little distant during that day (they gotta think about it). So you want to make sure that it's at the end of your get-together when you have this talk, can help smooth it over a bit.

Then they come back and it's business as usual.


As far as jealousy is concerned, as long as you make them aware and treat them like they're your number 1 (as long as they actually are) I haven't had to deal with much at all.

But, that's just my few experiences. All the others I've never had to even bring it up because it's obvious to them that it's not going anywhere serious.