How to Subtly Gauge Relationship Status in Casual Settings

[weximem267]

As someone new to dating, I often find myself in situations where there isn't much time for deep conversation (or there is, but it's still doesn't come up!), so I try to get a phone number. However, I'm often rejected because the woman is already in a relationship. While I understand and respect their reasons, it feels like a waste of time and can make interactions with their friends awkward (and I lose the opptunity with thier friends).

Is there a tactful way to gauge someone's relationship status without coming on too strong or killing the vibe? Some women naturally mention their partners, but it's difficult to tell with others, especially those who are older (and assume their status is obvious) or younger and inexperienced (and may not realize they're giving off interested signals).

The "Are you single?" approatch isn't appropriate in those areas.

Thanks!

 

[topcat]

Some girls use the “boyfriend” excuse as a soft rejection.

IMO looking for signs of relationship status is barking oo the wrong tree as what you will end up doing is creating barriers to approach.

Instead, it’s best to approach anyway and improve your fundamentals until boyfriend rejections are genuine (and even then a bf in the picture doesn’t prevent a successful seduction).

 

[Rakehell]

I believe it’s a bit of an instinct, when you’re locked in a conversation you can sometimes intuit how available they are, whether they have a boyfriend and how open they are with stepping out of their relationship.

I’m curious to know if anybody else notices this.

-Girls with boyfriends who are on the fence when they are alone, will be some of the most compliant and demure. Almost shy and will sometimes scan and look around like they’re looking for somebody.

-Girls with boyfriends who are on the fence but not alone. Will still be compliant and demure, but will quickly go cold and dismissive in their body language depending on their friends, and how far you’re pushing things.

-Sometimes you will notice NO difference in her behavior, she’ll still be compliant and help you push things forward, but you won’t even know she has a boyfriend until afterward or ever

If she has a boyfriend and is not open there are tells, but they don’t matter because there won’t be much of an in regardless.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

Doesn’t really matter what they say

j bc a lot of girls say they have a boyfriend in order to get a clingy guy away

focus on the conversation and the vibe, and it will come up eventually

and if they actually do have a boyfriend, at least u still made a friend that day,

considering you actually cared about getting to know them

as for running out of time, why are you approaching girls if you don’t have a lot of time anyways?

u can’t really deeply connect with someone in under 5 minutes, unless you’ve been doing this for skill for a while

it can be scary at first doing pick up at first, j relax and get to know them
Be interested in every person you meet, they all are unique in their own ways, but you don’t have to put up with being stonewalled or any rude behavior, leave if the feeling isn’t mutual

peace

 

[weximem267]

Some girls use the “boyfriend” excuse as a soft rejection.

I understand. However, I'm actually pretty good at figuring out if a rejection is genuine or not.

I believe it’s a bit of an instinct, when you’re locked in a conversation you can sometimes intuit how available they are

I trust my instincts, but sometimes with inexperienced or older people, it's difficult to tell.

how open they are with stepping out of their relationship

It's true, but I'm not looking to pursue women who are already in relationships.

as for running out of time, why are you approaching girls if you don’t have a lot of time anyways?

u can’t really deeply connect with someone in under 5 minutes, unless you’ve been doing this for skill for a while

It's not necessarily that there's 'no time,' but rather not enough time for a private conversation in settings like hobby groups or networking events.
As it could be a loud place where we can't too talk much.

and if they actually do have a boyfriend, at least u still made a friend that day,

That's exactly one of the issue. I feel like I damage the connection once I'm rejected because she's married.
In some cases, it's in a place where I might see her again (not completely cold approach).
It feels like I could have handled that question better if I'd asked if she single (somehow ) a minute before asking for her number.

 

[Mr.SocialAcceptableHarem]

That's exactly one of the issue. I feel like I damage the connection once I'm rejected because she's married.
In some cases, it's in a place where I might see her again (not completely cold approach).
It feels like I could have handled that question better if I'd asked if she single (somehow ) a minute before asking for her number.

yeah good point, but it is iffy.

really depend on how you handle it. if you handle it skillfully and set up the question as a low ask while smoothly changing topic after epic fail, she'll be aware that you like her, but you'll also have communicated that your not a pushy guy, and she will respect that.

really depends on if you connected with them, if you actually bonded, she will have reason to keep you, but probably as an orbiter.

if you don't mind that, then it's fine.

starving for pussy is the worst mentality --- you always got porn bro

but fr, when you've actually been putting in the work and time has gone by, pussy wont be a priority, fitting it into your schedule will be.

so for now, always know that you got time - no need to rush

if your an older guy - you still got time, there are guys on this forum slaying in their late 30's

girls dislike the most the guys starving for pussy who project it needily. They don't know how to fill your desperation and neither do they want to

one thing I learned - you always gotta have the ability to walk away

doesn't matter if her empathy is perfect, doesn't matter if her measurements are, feeling forced to get pussy is a tortuous place to be - there will always be a potential scenario where leaving her is the best thing

I see a lot brand newbies worried if they deserve a girl, here's a better question - does that girl deserve you?

you spend time, finances, and emotional energy in a courtship

a lot of times it is worth it to get out of the set before you embarrass yourself trying to get a number from a girl who isn't returning any of your energy

if your not projecting needy vibes, if you appear stable (even if you aren't, no ones perfect starting out), girls wont be on guard around you, they think you have options because you don't appear to be in scarcity mode

emotional transference
emotional transference
emotional transference!

(google it)

 

[Rakehell]

It's true, but I'm not looking to pursue women who are already in relationships.

That’s completely fair. I’d just go with your gut when it comes to judging these things, in that way even if you don’t plan on doing anything with these girls; you can use the same cues to get a sense for whether or not they’re someone you want to avoid escalating with.

Look at how single women usually respond to you at a baseline of just how you are, and the differences you notice in them at a baseline level to the ones who are usually taken.

Imo there’s normally a difference and you can accurately guess alot of the time.