Observations How Women Compare Themselves. Beauty first!

[trashKENNUT]

I got a recent response from Chase on "When Girls get cold because you texting her friends". and i manage to come into a conclusion on how women actually compare between themselves.

This are observations from

1)Friends
2)Social Circles/Schools/Classes
3)Acquaintances

They compare by (Successive. Beauty first, Brains second)

1)Beauty
2)Brains

One might note that "Beauty" is subjective but it's only obvious between "physically attractive women" and "not so physically attractive women". and Women know that, beauty level within themselves. For men, it's all about getting women, and doing that by going to get the cars, the money, the house, being "white knights" but Women operate this in a different way. You can see it how women praise each other but rarely are strong women together. IF they are together, their personalities complement each other or they have a bigger objective/work/trip/school but often, it's the testosterone as we have that makes one the dominant one and the other the submissive one. You can say women compete like men, too but our ways and theirs are different.

If both girls are linear, (some girls are that, BFF and have great chemistry) Then all the better. Threesome.

Zac

 

[PinotNoir]

Hmmm, I guess that's true if we're talking about a beautiful woman and an ugly woman.

However, I have known pretty girls that are harsh on themselves about intelligence, and giving them intelligence compliments is actually better than giving them beauty compliments.

I don't like using scales here, but just for example... Girl A is an 8, and Girl B is a 6. I knew a girl that was Girl A, but was always saying things like "Ah, I'm so dumb" and "Ah, I wish I was like Sue" or whatever. She really felt "less" than Girl B.

Now, in line with what you said, if Girl A is a 9 and Girl B is a 3, then yes, I think it's almost always Beauty first. Imagine a girl that's very smart but has acne all over her face and has some other facial problems. Even if Girl A thinks that Girl B is very smart, but because Girl B is so ugly, Girl A still feels "better" in comparison.

I don't know. I may just be talking out of my butt here, but that seems to be how I perceive it.

 

[trashKENNUT]

PInotNoir,

However, I have known pretty girls that are harsh on themselves about intelligence, and giving them intelligence compliments is actually better than giving them beauty compliments.

I can note that this is a combination of

1)Self Depreciation
2)Desire to be better
3)Women who packed men and friends into boxes. This girls say anything because they see you as friends,lovers,puppy dog (literally) in one setting. (A category of certain women)

But i note this down to understand the terms, even further.

Now, in line with what you said, if Girl A is a 9 and Girl B is a 3, then yes, I think it's almost always Beauty first. Imagine a girl that's very smart but has acne all over her face and has some other facial problems. Even if Girl A thinks that Girl B is very smart, but because Girl B is so ugly, Girl A still feels "better" in comparison.

Exactly, It's always beauty first, This is what i observe.

Zac

 

[luego]

I have known pretty girls that are harsh on themselves about intelligence, and giving them intelligence compliments is actually better than giving them beauty compliments.

Is this the "tell a pretty girl she's smart, and a smart girl she's pretty" angle?

I try to walk the line between the more obvious compliments appropriate to the girl early, and more sincere ones arriving out of deepdiving (although I clearly fatally misplayed an interaction recently; might do a FR later). Should you always lean towards the superficial (assuming there's *something* there for you to latch onto)? I worry that "deep" compliments, while more honest and sincere, get me out of "sexy" and into "sincere/observant/supplicative/bf". As a bona fide White Knight with a hero complex (in recovery, hopefully) I'm finding it a hard line to walk.

 

[Franco]

However, I have known pretty girls that are harsh on themselves about intelligence, and giving them intelligence compliments is actually better than giving them beauty compliments.

I'm going to have to slightly disagree a bit here, Pinot. It's fine to give a girl a compliment on her witty banter or intelligence if she actually displays it to you. But in general, women know that beauty is what attracts men, and she wants to know if you find her "beautiful."

So generally, if we're talking about openers, you're going to want to compliment her on something about her appearance. This goes for two main reasons:

• 1) As I mentioned above, she knows that beauty is what attracts men (even if she doesn't admit it). Complimenting her on something physically attractive about her tells her that you are romantically interested in her, which is likely what she wants. If you compliment her on her intelligence, then she may just think that's all you like about her -- her intelligence.
  
  2) A compliment about her beauty will sound much more legitimate because it's what she's trying to flaunt. She WANTS you to notice it. Girls work extra hard before they go out to make themselves look attractive, and although women will sometimes claim that they "hate getting hit on because of their looks," a direct, genuine compliment about her looks will still have the biggest impact on her. Even if she doesn't feel all that pretty that night, it will lift her spirits and also let her know that you were a confident enough man to make the approach.

So, if you do want to compliment a girl on her intelligence, give her a chance to actually display it to a good degree first so that the compliment seems genuine. If you can then turn that compliment into a chase frame to get her thinking about you and sex, then that's even better! i.e.

You: "Your playful, witty comebacks show me you are quite the intelligent young girl..."
Her: "Why, thank you!"
You: "I've always liked how intelligence seems to transfer to the bedroom. I find it sexy when a girl knows how to get you all riled up beforehand... that is, until she sticks her devilish claws in you!" *Sly smile*

This is just an example, but I'm sure there are several ways you could twist a compliment like this to make it sexual.

- Franco

 

[PinotNoir]

Yes, I agree, not as an opener. I didn't mean to imply that. I meant that I came to that realization after knowing the girl; she was more receptive of such compliments, and I had gotten to know her quite a bit (not a stranger). But, you make excellent points, and it could have made the compliment less sexual, unless I had used your example.

As I don't agree with black&white thinking, a compliment on intelligence could be used as an opener, but most of the time, I agree to not use it because you know nothing about her. You'd have to see some type of physical indication that she's intelligent before approaching, like a medal or something. Still, 99% of the time, it's probably not a good opener.

After you have become boyfriend/girlfriend (which would at least be after sex), then you can give different compliments and gauge what compliments she likes the best based on physical reactions (e.g., facial expressions) and verbal reactions. Of course, in this scenario, you're trying to find the best compliment that makes her feel good and what she enjoys hearing the most. The end result is making her feel good.

On the other hand, if you want the end result to be sexual, then the compliment may not even matter, as long as it always has a sexual undertone (i.e., not direct). And with compliments on appearance, that is just easier. This would also frame you as sexual, which is what we'd want.

However, if we're talking about the original subject of "how women compare themselves," then we are talking about compliments that make a woman feel better than other women. In that case, there are women that I have dated and known as friends that I believe appreciate a compliment on intelligence more so than beauty, usually if beauty has already come so naturally and intelligence is perceived out of their reach.