Socializing How would you deal with this situation?

[johndoe]

Hey folks,

Just thought I'd drop this in here and listen to your feedback:

Couple of months ago, due to some circumstances in my relationship, I found myself hitting bars trying to hook up with girls again (it's been awhile). Just for context, I'm from a really conservative city, where people are generally shy and don't converse with each other much (and first-date sex is a myth to most men). In my first outing, I met a pair of really hot girls from out of the country. Blondes, both of them really stunning, and a head taller than me, who are also a little tipsy and horny.

With some help from the bartender, I started talking to them. Now, I'm no stranger to situations like these (albeit rusty), and when meeting women I want to shag, I'm clear about what I want and escalate pretty quick. With these girls though, they were much chattier than the girls I usually meet in my city, and they started telling me about their sexual exploits, making fun of the guys they've been with and what not. It was quite a departure from the girls I usually meet.

Within 15 minutes, one of them offers to pay me $10 to make out with her. She didn't pay me the $10, but I accepted her offer.

I continue making conversation with them, but it was really droll because it was more of their rambling again. 30 minutes later, they decided to leave.

At that moment, I thought it was pretty impossible for me to lay either one of them, because I was more used to being the one leading the interaction. I couldn't do it in this instance, and thought it made me look pretty unattractive. Plus, I was a head shorter than both of them.

The next time I visited though, the bartender was telling me that it was a wasted chance and I should've laid them.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do after making out with the girl? I think, in this situation, there was no way for me to have been more conversant than I was, simply because of the cultural / vibe difference.

 

[Tr1cky]

First, I wouldn't have made out with her. I would have teased her for having to make a silly bet to try and kiss me.

The move at that point is to flip it back onto them about how they're flirts and they go around getting men riled up knowing they won't fuck them. Then you can challenge them on how in your experience its always the quiet shy girls that are the good ones in bed.

A move I like to use on girls that run on at the mouth in a non helpful way (ie talking about her job, etc etc) I will start looking at there body back and forth for a second like I'm searching for something and say "do you have an off switch?"

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

If you were in my shoes, what would you do after making out with the girl?

A lot depends on the timing, but middle of the night make outs don't turn into much unless you have a plan/understand night game pulls at a deeper level.

So going off that particular situation, I would try to get her/or her group out of the bar. Maybe to another bar, maybe pizza, maybe dance club

In my experience, I've found charged situations like that tend to fizzle out unless the player creates some momentum. I like actual physical movement, but one could easily create social momentum in the bar/club by taking her/her squad to meet other people in the bar. (merge set, forward and backward). "We're gonna make this an epic night"

WIA

 

[Will_V]

There are two things that Chase always points out that I try to keep in mind. 1) making out is rarely productive to getting laid, unless you're about to have sex and b) always take your chances, you will be surprised by what can happen.

I got my first pull straight home by simply moving forward relentlessly and staying unreactive (I didn't kiss her until we were home though), and I didn't really believe it would happen but it did. Like Chase said in his most recent article, seeing is believing, and sometimes you just have to put one foot in front of the other as you go off into the unknown.

So I think the bartender is right, at least in that you should have closed and closed until the deal was either sealed or off. No girl will give her number, go home with, or get undressed for a guy who does not, at some point, take deliberate action to make it happen.

I don't have very much experience with taking girls home after kissing them (I mostly daygame and avoid doing it if at all possible even in a club). But I would have attempted to take her somewhere then and there. You can't really go backward after making a move like that, you can't uncook the goose, you can't turn the kiss back into sexual tension. Use some excuse, assume that at this point she wants nothing more than to be in bed with you, and forget about bothering with anything more than the most superficial pretenses. There's probably a better than even chance it won't work, but she isn't going to give you another shot (and probably gave someone else the opportunity that night).

In my opinion, the most important thing with these botched situations is not so much to win them but to teach yourself that when it's time to move, move! Psychologically, any failure that comes despite taking decisive action is way more constructive than one that comes from hesitation - it can even feel like a victory.