Humpert's Newbie Assignment

[Humpert]

I feel like I've been past this point for a little while, but being newly single I think I'm going to have to start over again. I am merely a beginner still either way. So I'm doing the newbie assignment.

I'll be skipping days 1-3 and starting with day 4 because I've pretty much been doing days 1-5 religiously the last few weeks.

Today's Friday, and I'm not in the greatest mood and I'm already nervous as hell, but I'm tackling day 4's assignment! I'll report back tonight.

 

[Humpert]

YEAH

Just finished, feels GOOD. Man, WAY harder than I thought it would be. I went out for two hours in the afternoon and nothing. Went out again at 7 and it took me two and a half hours to say hi to 6 attractive women. That sucks but hey its a step in the right direction! And I'm fucking pumped now. I'm on my phone at the moment, but when I get on the computer I'll give the deets and a little background story on myself.

This was HARD, but I did it. Hell yeah.

 

[Humpert]

Intro and Day 1 Report

Ok, so I'm Humpert, I'm in my mid-20s.

I've always been bad at the social arts, had very few friends throughout my life and got into a long deep depression. Also I've always had this bad anxiety thing, which is a bummer to talk about so I won't. But I've doped myself with antidepressants and that's going great, I love them.

I got into DD's Cocky & Funny thing, bought a bunch of his stuff when I was about 17. This gave me an avenue to talk to more people, because I just felt like I knew what to say now. I was CFing everyone, guys and gals. But back then I thought reactions were results, and they're not. They got me my first girlfriend when I was 18 though, but she was a hoodrat make no mistake. Since then I've remained pretty bad with and scared of women.

I came across GirlsChase in summer of last year, and tossed everything I thought I knew out the window. The scientific, logical, testable, practical GirlsChase was a fucking shaft of lightning. Where I had largely given up on ever being good with women, I now knew I could still build this skill from the ground up, step by step and not with a bullshit cure-all method that just wasn't me anyway (I'm pretty low energy!) I bought Chase's book, and started all over. I ate up part one of the book. I never really got to practice part two, because I found a woman pretty quickly after I implemented part one. The V/A/I thing (not sure if I can say it, lol) rocked my world and allowed me to calibrate most of my actions to a proper and attractive balance. So I got this great girl, first time in love, but it's fallen apart now. So I'm starting over, and doing this noob assignment.

So here's how day 4 went:

I left the house in the afternoon well dressed in tight but comfortable (super important that theyre comfortable too) clothing wearing some nice cologne. I'm in good shape too, 200lbs and 6feet. I'm usually pretty good looking, have to say. But I thought I was ugly up until maybe a year ago. Anyway, I went to one of my venues; a street full of interesting shops and loads of young people. As soon as I got there, I thought this assignment was going to be super easy. I was in a great mood and felt like the man. I stopped in somewhere for a bite to eat though, and after I ate I felt like a big loser. I walked around for two hours and did not do the assignment, though I tried to the entire time. I decided to quit for now and try again later in the day.

After seeing how that meal killed my mood, I decided not to eat for the rest of the day until I completed my task. This was a good idea, and I'm going to do it again. I'm just better on an empty stomach, and not being able to eat until I finish my task is just another motivator.

So I headed back to the same spot at about 7 o'clock, hungry. Same outfit. Spotted a girl immediately and said hi. She mouthed "hello," silently. Sweet, one down.

Following that, I got another silent hello, three ignores, and one enthusiastic "Hi!" with a sexy smile, all over a span of two and a half hours. Brutal, but it's more than I've ever done.

Here's what I took away:

Don't eat! Not allowed to eat until you're done. (Toward the end of the night I really had to pee too... but used it as more motivation. IE, can't pee until you finish!)
People seem more open to saying hi when the sun is still up...
Put your hand up like you're saying hi before you say it, this is what got me the huge smile
Remind yourself that this is a short-term discomfort in exchange for long-term success
Got this one from We're The Millers: Silently count to 3 and then do it! 1,2,3... HI. This makes it easier to do
Read this on here somewhere: Don't be yourself, be who you always wanted to be

Day 5 is when they start getting hard, and that's tomorrow. Wish me luck.

 

[Humpert]

Day 5 Prelude

On my way to do day 5 assignment. Figured I'd say so here to make sure I don't pass on it.

Heading to a festival in a bad part of town. It's sunny. Tight white v-neck, tight vibrant blue pants, blue shoes, blue watch, aviators. I'll report back when I'm done the task.

 

[Humpert]

Snag

It's midnight now, I've been at this all day and nothing! Having lots of conversations but few that are initiated by me. Got two hours until closing time, still got this task at the forefront of my mind. In a small bar now full of asians and blacks, not exactly my scene but hey. Still going, so far failure. Two more hours.

 

[BarryS1]

Humpert,

I really like your method here:

Put your hand up like you're saying hi before you say it, this is what got me the huge smile

I am going to try this while walking down the street. Good idea!

Btw, what type of venue did you use this?

 

[Humpert]

2 down.

Hey man! Makes me happy to hear you like that tactic, tried it a few more time tonight and it definietly made a difference. Theres a strip where I live where there are a lot of trendy shops and bars, and a ton of hot young girls 18-30 that frequent it. This is the venue. I walk around the street and meet girls that are walking around.

And by the way, opened two girls since my last post, 33% there!

 

[Humpert]

Day 5 Report

Ok, so last night I managed to finish the assignment at 330 in the morning when all the bars were letting out.

I was out pretty well all day trying to do this assignment. A lot of girls were opening me, but this doesn't count. I was failing so I decided to go back to where I had my last victory (day 4) to try my hand at day 5 again. Again I walked around for about an hour and a half and nothing. Since I was now somewhat more comfortable saying hi to people though, at this point I decided to start saying hi to everyone. I figured I would at least do day 4's task again. But this time it was way easier, and I said hi to dozens of guys and girls. This got me out of my bad mood and I stopped feeling like such a loser and failure, stopped thinking about my ex dumping me, actually I felt good!

Girl 1:
I caught this asian girl giving me eyes, so I jumped at the chance to go say 'hi, hows your night going?' She was sitting and I was standing, so I came over and just sat beside her. I forget how she answered, something like 'Hi, good..,' so for some reason I then asked her why she liked the bar we were at, because I thought it was terrible. We chatted for a minute or so, then she said she had to go. I watched her and all friends get up and leave the bar, bad timing I guess.

Girl 2:
At this point I was just pumped that I had finally opened someone, so I dove right in and asked another girl. She smiled and ignored me, which surprisingly didn't bother me in the least like I always thought it would. I think I even said 'yes!' out loud, happy I now had the ball rolling.

Girl 3:
I was up at the bar, and noticed there was a girl beside me. Indian chick. 'Hey, hows your night going?' She said good, and then I commented on how tall she was, grasping for things to say. She was friendly for a minute and then just kind of turned her back on me to end our convo. Cant blame her! What girl wants to hear about how tall they are?

Girl 4 & 5:
Two more ignores, so happy I only had one more to go.

Girl 6:
Walking the streets at 3am, looking for one more girl, I spot a blonde wearing a Wu-Tang tank top. 'Hi, hows your night going?' She's alone, obviously drunk and looking for a cab. Who knows what I could have done with this one... But I decided to talk about Wu-Tang. She knew nothing about it despite her tank so I decided I'd tease her for being a hipster or whatever. We talked for like 5 minutes, and I probably didn't tease her in the right way because she said I was insulting her.

Cool, I actually finished day 5? Didn't think I would! I've NEVER done anything like this. Feeling like I have a responsibility to these boards, and to Chase specifically, weirdly, makes me actually keep at it. So here what I took away:

I shouldn't tease about anything real or personal like I did. I deliver a tease in a bad way almost always, I should be aware of this... Only tease about obviously untrue or outlandish things.

I have a habit of landing on negative topics. 'Why do you like this bar? This bar sucks,' 'You're really tall for a girl! You say you're 5'10 but I'm 6' and you're taller than me...' 'You don't know anything about Wu-Tang, do you?' Damn... Start being positive, Humpert. You think youre being amusing but almost no one takes it that way.

Can't do your task? Do the ones you managed to do before for a warm-up! You already know you can, and this gets the ball rolling.

Don't give up! Just stay out there and don't go home. I was out for like 5 hours feeling like shit about myself and wanting to go home. But if you just stay out there... It might turn around, something might happen.

 

[Humpert]

Day 6 Report

Ok, so today I was pretty emotional for some reason, and spent most of the day sulking and just being 'emotional' if you catch my drift. It was rough and it took the better part of the day to shake. I'm still experiencing some heartache once in a while, as I'm relatively fresh off a breakup (just over a month). Not that I'm excusing myself!

So I decided to swap day 6's assignment with day 7's; practice my walk today and ask girls if theyre single tomorrow.

I'm constantly focused on my walk anyways, but today I tried out a few different ones out for fun while strolling my venue (actually the only venue I've used yet, its a gooder since it's kind of like a happening street with lots of different shops to offer.)

I'll cut this short as I'm on my phone again.

The walk I eventually decide to adopt more of is a LAZY walk... I walked very slowly with great posture, but took wide lazy steps. Think Tyler in Fight Club. He walks very cool. Care-free and almost playful, yet intense and powerful and determined all at the same time. Except I think about this from the waist down only. Having my chest puffed and my chin pushed somewhat down (as if theres a hook in the center back of my skull pulling it up.) takes care of the swagger of my upper body. My arms I move deliberately and sort of bounce, like they would if they were in sync with your lazy, wide stepping legs.

When I started to really do this, there was a freestyle rapper that had a little mic set up that saw me as I walked up, and actually started rapping about me, calling me 'Mr. Confidence' and shit. People all around, this made me red in the face and I could feel my back curl and my walk shrink. But I noticed that and did my best to unfurl and walk all the way by without changing my walk back to normal or whatever.. I felt like I had NAILED the walk. Not only were girls obviously taking notice, but I got rapped about... Just now though I wonder if maybe it was too much! But I don't think so, it was not cartoony at all, I made sure to watch myself in every reflective window I walked by.

So theres day 6, as to not lose the momentum that I think I've gained so far.

My main concern now is my STANCE... How do I stand when I'm stationary? I feel like I have it figured out in the mirror but then it looks fucked up from the side. Any ideas fellas? I'll have to do a search on this one.

Day 7 tomorrow

 

[Humpert]

Snag

Bad AA today, but still trying. Havn't done a thing yet but say hi to people. I'm currently at a bookstore, with only one real prospect around whom honestly is scaring the shit out of me for some reason. I first noticed her as I had just finished reading the back of a book. I look up and she's smiling at me as she walks around. So nervous, I hightail it to a different section, and she kind of follows me, but I ignore. Pretty fucked up.

There's some commentary for ya.

Still trying.

 

[Humpert]

Faulter, Flounder, Failure

Didn't work out today. Really bad AA and anxiety in general... Felt like everyone was staring at me, even from their cars. Lights seemed very bright, could barely keep my eyes open at times. Felt like a mouse.

It happens. I'll try day 7 again tomorrow.

 

[Humpert]

Day 7 Prelude

I think posting here before hand is somewhat helpful to ensure that I bring the right attitude with me.

Going downtown tonight for day 7, where I'll walk around a bit doing some opening. Then I'll head to a little artsy bar where there will be some poetry reading (I might even go up and read one), not to mention a gorgeous waitress I'm going to try and number close with.

I'll report back tonight!

 

[BarryS1]

Then I'll head to a little artsy bar where there will be some poetry reading (I might even go up and read one), not to mention a gorgeous waitress I'm going to try and number close with.

That's great your putting yourself in difficult places like the bookstore. To be honest, I did not start approaching sober until assignment #9. I HAD to be tipsy with 1 or 2 high ABV beers before I could even lock eye contact. I had the intention of approaching in the back of my mind, so normal human interactions with girls seemed tense. I kicked the habit now, but without a little "social lubricant" in the beginning, I would never of had the courage .

Look forward to hearing about the rest!

 

[Humpert]

Snag

Fuck! Failed last night again and failing so far today. This is a hard one. It's like I just can't will myself to do it! I'll keep trying like crazy until I get it done, but man, I feel more and more lame each day I fail at this.

I went up to these two girls and said 'Hi guys, hows your day doing?' And thats ALL I could say.. So I walked off. Then I heard one of them say to the other 'that guy was hot too!' And I'm too much of a fucking pansy to capitalize on it. Yeah, Barry, perhaps I should try having a few drinks. Just to get over this initial hump like you did.

I won't keep wasting space with these pointless posts, but I will be trying at least once a day until I get this done. So I'll check in when I actually have something to report.

 

[Humpert]

Day 7 - 1/4

Lol! Okay, so I did one. It didnt go well at all and you know that bad feeling you get after a rejection? I've had it for the last half hour. Anyway:

I was feeling pretty good for some reason today I suppose, so I thought I'd go see what I could muster up. I went to one of my usual bookstores and as soon as I stepped inside I caught the eye of a girl who looked just my type. A modest brunette with curly hair and cute body, not chubby, but bum a little on the big side which I love.

So while working up my courage, she kept glancing at me, and so caught me glancing at her too. This is probably where I fucked up, not working fast enough. We exchanged these glances continually for about five minutes, maybe a glance a minute. So finally I went and stood where I knew I would intersect her path, feigning to read a book. When she was about to pass, I look up.

'Hey, hows your day going?'
Her: 'Hi. (Stumbling over her words) ... I dont.. I don't work here. (Still walking)'
'I know, I just wanted to say hi and see if youre single?'
'Oh, hi. (Keeps walking, obviously kind of scared)'

Lol. Okay well, feels good to talk about it. One down!

 

[Humpert]

This is so frustrating. All the advice in the world and the decade of reading I've done on this hasn't done shit for me. I'm good with women that I end up in conversation with; introduced or approached. But the hump for me is approaching... Its really all I need help with. And nothing has helped. My only option is to walk blind into an approach and just get it over with, which is just where I was when I was 14 and unable to do it. And I'm horny as all hell and missing my ex, walking around here for hours at a time, going home disappointed and fruitless.

It's Saturday, 4:00pm. I've been out for hours and will be out for hours more. But fuck if I don't feel like a sack of shit.

 

[themainattraction]

Hey, I just gotta say thanks for posting this. Its definitely the most encouraging thing I've read here. The mantra of trying and failing, only to learn and try again. And one day succeed.

I'm sorta in the same boat. Broke up with my ex 4 months ago, and started talking to a gorgeous girl after. Now that's failing. So reading this makes me excited to try this out. Good job, dont give up. These posts probably have a lot more effect on people than you think.

 

[Humpert]

Thanks

Thanks, it means a lot man. The whole reason I got on here was because I thought a sense of community would kick me into high gear. To feel like I wasn't alone.

But honestly, I need help. This has been impossible for me--I don't know what to do.

 

[Dern]

Hang in there Humpert!

I just read your journal, looks like you have good looks and a good walk, which is very good - that means you've got your fundamentals handled, which is very important.

It's obvious though that your sticking point right now is approaching. I'm guessing you've already read all of Chase's articles on approach anxiety?

I wish I could give you more tips, but to be honest, approach anxiety wasn't that big of a problem for me. I just knew, I had nothing to lose. And the same goes for you: you have nothing to lose!

A lot of people here on this site (like Franco) mentioned that their biggest sticking point was approach anxiety as well, but once they got past it, they were on the high ground. No regrets.

After all, what's the worst that could happen? You get a drink poured on you (this isn't going to happen anyways, unless you're a real douchebag / really creepy and don't leave her alone after she shows she's not interested)?

A girl says: "pffftt" and looks at you angrily? So what? Find another one.

The other day, i went up to a girl and asked her if she was single. She looked at me angrily and said: "oh my god, I don't need this right now. if you keep talking, I swear, I'll spill my coffee on you."

Hahahaha, it was so funny. I just walked away smiling, cause who the fuck cares! She didn't want to talk to me? Fine! She was having a bad day? Good for her! You're never going to see her again anyways and if I didn't approach her, I would've felt worse.

Plus, looks are the most important, and it seems like you got that: I wish I was 200lbs (I'm like 5 ft. 9 and 130lbs - so pinner hahahah!) Then its vibe. Then its game. If you read Ricardus' articles on the success factor, he says that hot guys can go up to girls and ask them what time it is, and the girls will even warmly receive them.

The next time a hot girl walks past you, think to yourself: "wow, she could be my lover or my girlfriend," then turn around, and go talk to her! Fuck it! Nothing matters in life except for: did you try your absolute best at what you wanted to achieve?

I ain't no pro with women (yet) but I hope I helped!

PS. that part about the guy rapping about you and calling you mr. confident was hilarious! Today, I was walking downtown, solely focusing on my walk: slow walk, arms swaying, chest puffed out, head up, shoulders a bit back. And this guy walks up to me and says something like: "hey man, you got the swagger!" and then he started telling me about this credit card promotion. I told him I wasn't even 19 yet, so I couldn't even have a credit card. He replied: "oh, you looked like you were like 25". I responded: "Haha, thanks". So don't be embarrassed about your walk! It may seem like you're trying a lot, but it really makes you stand out from the rest of the crowd, and thats what you want. Just think to yourself: "Yeah, I dress like a boss. I walk like a boss, and I am a boss". Then go talk to some hot girls!

 

[Humpert]

Wicked advice Darren, thanks a lot for that! I will definitely be reading that before I go out next time.

So I've taken a few days off--I've been working a lot and I was very disappointed with going out and failing to approach for days in a row. However I am ready to tackle this again! I havn't given up everyone, this is the NUMBER ONE priority in my life, and I shit you not. Back at it. I'll have a new report real quick.