A
Anonymous
Guest
Hello everyone,
My first post here. I have always enjoying reading the articles on the website. I wish I had paid a little more attention to how to build relationships a lot earlier on. Anyway here's the story so far...
I had a Long distance with a girl for 6-7 months. She's 29, divorced, daddy issues (physically abusive father during her childhood). We had our usual ups and downs. She was always worried that I would cheat on her. I never did. I never acted needy, I gave her the space but I didn't build/grow the relationship. I am good looking guy, decent job, dress well, good sense of humour... etc. So, I would only see her for a week every 6 weeks because of my job. At times, I neglected her due to being too busy with work. She wanted marriage. She wanted me to meet her parents right away. I eventually did meet her Mum. But soon after, we broke up.
Anyway,during 3 months into our relationship we once had a big fight and she needed a shoulder to cry on, so she started talking to this other guy. He was interested in her romantically before me and this girl met, but she wasn't interested in him then. They became friends over time and the more fights we had, the more I seem to have driven her away. Anyway,one night when they all went out clubbing, they kissed and he asked her to either decide between me and him. She started seeing him after that. I wasn't even aware this guy existed as we were in a Long distance. During this time because, as I was busy with work, I would call her less but we were still on. She would still call me 'Baby' and all that. I did see her but we didn't have sex as she was apparently having her period. But this is the time she introduced me to her mum.
So, after we broke up, I found out about this other guy about two months later. And the bearer of the news was this guy himself. He sent me a message saying regarding my ex and that he had been seeing her as well from this time (5 month into our relationship) and that we had both being played. I spoke to him on the phone and he sounded upset. I spoke very calmly and as if I couldn't care less. Her excuse was that we had only kissed during this time and she didn't sleep with me which was true (Her having her period) and that wasn't cheating. I told him that yes the relationship was going downhill when they met and that I was over her and that I didn't want to get in their way. At this point I was moving on, meeting other women. He said to me that he wanted to know why she did this and he was planning on maybe helping her and or using her for sex as he had invested a lot of money into her (Took her on holidays, paid for every date as she was complaining to him that I made her pay for some of the dates). The next day, he told me that he was gonna give her a second chance and see how it goes.
But, it has opened a lot of wounds. Now, I am again thinking about her a lot. I have started working out, set new goals and working towards them. I work in remote areas where I can spend days without meeting any girls. When I do go to the city, I do meet other girls, but I have a hard time connecting with them. Now, it's got me thinking of moving back to my old city and maybe rekindle the old flame again. I don't want to settle with her but it would be nice to have a fling again. I know I will eventually find a fantastic woman.
Also, I am wondering if this guy is really giving her a second chance or using her. I mean after what he found out, will he be able to trust a girl like that?
My plan is to keep improving and when I am in the old city in two months time, I will give her a call and see if she wants to catch up and take it from there. What do you guys think?
My first post here. I have always enjoying reading the articles on the website. I wish I had paid a little more attention to how to build relationships a lot earlier on. Anyway here's the story so far...
I had a Long distance with a girl for 6-7 months. She's 29, divorced, daddy issues (physically abusive father during her childhood). We had our usual ups and downs. She was always worried that I would cheat on her. I never did. I never acted needy, I gave her the space but I didn't build/grow the relationship. I am good looking guy, decent job, dress well, good sense of humour... etc. So, I would only see her for a week every 6 weeks because of my job. At times, I neglected her due to being too busy with work. She wanted marriage. She wanted me to meet her parents right away. I eventually did meet her Mum. But soon after, we broke up.
Anyway,during 3 months into our relationship we once had a big fight and she needed a shoulder to cry on, so she started talking to this other guy. He was interested in her romantically before me and this girl met, but she wasn't interested in him then. They became friends over time and the more fights we had, the more I seem to have driven her away. Anyway,one night when they all went out clubbing, they kissed and he asked her to either decide between me and him. She started seeing him after that. I wasn't even aware this guy existed as we were in a Long distance. During this time because, as I was busy with work, I would call her less but we were still on. She would still call me 'Baby' and all that. I did see her but we didn't have sex as she was apparently having her period. But this is the time she introduced me to her mum.
So, after we broke up, I found out about this other guy about two months later. And the bearer of the news was this guy himself. He sent me a message saying regarding my ex and that he had been seeing her as well from this time (5 month into our relationship) and that we had both being played. I spoke to him on the phone and he sounded upset. I spoke very calmly and as if I couldn't care less. Her excuse was that we had only kissed during this time and she didn't sleep with me which was true (Her having her period) and that wasn't cheating. I told him that yes the relationship was going downhill when they met and that I was over her and that I didn't want to get in their way. At this point I was moving on, meeting other women. He said to me that he wanted to know why she did this and he was planning on maybe helping her and or using her for sex as he had invested a lot of money into her (Took her on holidays, paid for every date as she was complaining to him that I made her pay for some of the dates). The next day, he told me that he was gonna give her a second chance and see how it goes.
But, it has opened a lot of wounds. Now, I am again thinking about her a lot. I have started working out, set new goals and working towards them. I work in remote areas where I can spend days without meeting any girls. When I do go to the city, I do meet other girls, but I have a hard time connecting with them. Now, it's got me thinking of moving back to my old city and maybe rekindle the old flame again. I don't want to settle with her but it would be nice to have a fling again. I know I will eventually find a fantastic woman.
Also, I am wondering if this guy is really giving her a second chance or using her. I mean after what he found out, will he be able to trust a girl like that?
My plan is to keep improving and when I am in the old city in two months time, I will give her a call and see if she wants to catch up and take it from there. What do you guys think?
