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I am willing to do anything

ElectricDreamMachine

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 21, 2022
Messages
7
I have reached that point that I think a lot of people do when it comes to certain areas of their lives. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never ever be happy unless I can get a handle on this area of my life so it is not constantly plaguing me. I have been obsessed with women since I was in kindergarten, and I have never been good at getting them. I'm 35 and the time to get with the women that will truly make me happy is running out. I'm willing to pay any amount of money for the right product, willing to face untold amounts of rejection if it means I improve to the point where I can get good at this. I just need some help and I will do the work. What's the best product to start off to give me some tools and then where do I go after that? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. And before anybody says, girls won't make you happy, I get that. But I desperately need to find that out for myself. It's a question I cannot leave unanswered.
 

ElectricDreamMachine

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 21, 2022
Messages
7
I'll DM you as soon as I figure out how. I have one question tho? Is 35 too late for this? Should I give up and call it a life when it comes to women? Or can men in their 30s and 40s have great sex lives with attractive women?
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
461
I had that same question. I'm early 30s.

I just pulled a woman almost 10 years younger.

I am fat.

Over the last four weeks there have been times i have wanted to pull my hair out and cry. But that's just the kinda shit that gives me a boner so nbd.

It's not easy.not sure its ever easier. I am riddled with failure. But the successes are addicting.

And the momentum is incredible, and growing.

And not everything i've interpreted as failure, or as finished, is really so; it turns out a lot of that shit was just swinging around to come by again for another pass.

35 years old is too old for some things. Doors in your life have closed. But it's not too old to make things better, or get some of the things you want.

And it's not so old that you get to stop thinking about the foundation of the rest of your life.
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
461
God bless you, or krishna or whatever.

But girls won't make you happy.

Girls are kinda like money. Only really a problem when you aint got none.

You should be old enough to hear the secret so here it is... if you set these bitches up as the central pillar of your life, you're gonna have a bad time.

If you live and die by what a woman, nature's most backward ass ambivalent creature, thinks or feels... you're gonna live and die a thousand deaths on breeze, the same one the blows and turns her thoughts and feelings every which way.

Take it from me, pal. Women, like money, can't ever be a solid basis for lasting happiness.

Thats why i love the self improvement aspect of this website so much. Now that you can control.
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
461
You can be happy.

Most people think happiness is a circumstance.

I think happiness is a choice. You can even be happy while you're sad, you complex creature you. This makes no sense until you understand it, sorry. On the bright side, i think it is you that actually decides how much suffering that requires.

Now go get you some good pussy.
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,866
And before anybody says, girls won't make you happy, I get that

Lack of girls will make you UNHAPPY... it is just like money. Money won't always lead to happiness, but lack thereof will lead to unhappiness.

And to some.. like me, girls do lead to happiness because pick up is my passion, and passions can lead to happiness, but that's me.

I am sorry for your lack of results. I coach for girlschase, and one thing I noticed in your message was both your openness to new ideas, new theories, new techniques but also your willingness to put in the work. This will make the process much easier both for yourself and whoever coaches you.

I coach mostly intermediate and advanced guys, but Girlschase do have specialists for beginners and people who struggle.

Regarding products... stick to the basics and be patient. I honestly really like Chase's first book.


You may want to get a blog subscription and read about fundamentals and take it from there.

@Chase

-Teevster/Alek Rolstad
 

ulrich

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,760
I'll DM you as soon as I figure out how. I have one question tho? Is 35 too late for this?

Far from it.

You can still get high quality girls even in your 40s and 50s.

It’s going to be harder though, because more will be expected of you than if you were in your 20’s and also you surely picked up some bad habits and wrong mental models that need to be fixed.

But it’s very possible.
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,866
I'll DM you as soon as I figure out how. I have one question tho? Is 35 too late for this? Should I give up and call it a life when it comes to women? Or can men in their 30s and 40s have great sex lives with attractive women?

Huum, you need to have posted a few more messages in order to be able to send DM's. When having a certain numbers of messages on the forum you automatically get a rank up, which allows you to post DMs.

We have it this way because we don't want bots or random new users to message staff, veteran members until they have gotten acquainted with the place.

Anyway, I upped your rank. See if you can send DM's now.

1666190693272.png

Best,
Teevster
 

Teevster

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 23, 2013
Messages
1,866

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
I have reached that point that I think a lot of people do when it comes to certain areas of their lives. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will never ever be happy unless I can get a handle on this area of my life so it is not constantly plaguing me. I have been obsessed with women since I was in kindergarten, and I have never been good at getting them. I'm 35 and the time to get with the women that will truly make me happy is running out. I'm willing to pay any amount of money for the right product, willing to face untold amounts of rejection if it means I improve to the point where I can get good at this. I just need some help and I will do the work. What's the best product to start off to give me some tools and then where do I go after that? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. And before anybody says, girls won't make you happy, I get that. But I desperately need to find that out for myself. It's a question I cannot leave unanswered.
Okay my friend. Listen up. You're almost an exact carbon copy of me when I started. I can see it in your tone, in your word choice.

I started a couple years or so before 30. It's now been several years and I'm going to tell you what I've learned that applies here, and how it can help you.

1. I know you're concerned about how much time you have left. But something interesting that I learned very early on is that men naturally hit their prime years way later than you'd think. Whereas a woman's prime is in her early 20s, a man's is in his 40s. Maybe late 30s, maybe even early 50s. So you're actually not late yet! You still have years before hitting your natural prime!

2. Understand there are two components here that you have to get down solid to get the women results you want: outer game and inner game. Outer game is the name for all the techniques, strategies, and tactics used. Things like knowing what to say, how to use your voice, or how to run a date. Inner game is the name for your development on the inside. For example, you can have the best coach in the world telling you in an earpiece the best things to say, but if on the inside you feel like a weak, piece of shit, loser, you're going to fail.

3. If you have the money, coaching is the best way to go to learn outer game as quickly as possible. Not only can they teach you things quickly, but they can also help you see blind spots in your game. This will save you months, even years, of you figuring things out on your own.

4. Your challenge will be with inner game. The sooner you understand this, the better. I spent years going out over and over, getting rejected over and over, just as you say you want to... but I went nowhere. It took me years to finally wake up and accept that I had major inner game issues holding me back this entire time (self-sabotage).

If you're being real with yourself, it should be objectively clear to you that someone like you should have significant inner game issues. You can't become a 30+ year old guy who isn't good with women without having issues on the inside.

5. To get you started in the direction of working on inner game, let me tell you that your current mindset that women will make you happy (which is what you believe if we cut away the fluff) will absolutely prevent you from having the success you want.

And believe me, I know where you're coming from. The aspect of your life that isn't satisfactory is women, and you simply want to work on it to make it better. Totally makes sense.

But what you don't see (I didn't either) is that you're ignoring your happiness in life in all other ways. For instance, I guarantee your male friendships are fairly weak or could be way stronger and closer than what they currently are. I guarantee you don't have a true passion or purpose in life that doesn't have some specific end result you're seeking. Do you even vigorously exercise to show high respect for your own body (and not to attract women)?

Stated differently, you don't have strong internal validation. Self esteem, self worth, etc. Instead, you're defining your worth based on external things. In this case, you're saying you can't be happy unless you have women. This is as 100% backward as you can be. You should be striving to be happy on your own, on the inside. You don't need a certain sized house, or car, or woman. If you don't understand this, then what will happen is you'll chase external things in search of your happiness, get them, then see that you're still unhappy. You'll be chasing things until the end of time, and nothing will ever give you the happiness you seek. As soon as you get a big house, now you'll want a bigger one. Or, as soon as you get a woman, now you'll want one with bigger boobs, or a better personality, or something else.

It won't be until you learn to be happy with yourself RIGHT NOW that you finally feel the exact joy and peace that you seek.

Furthermore, chasing external validation makes you way less attractive to women. It'll cause you to be needy, chase, and put women on pedestals even if you don't realize you're doing it. Having strong internal validation on the other hand will attract women.

If you're like me when I started, you'll gloss over this concept. You'll say something to yourself like "That makes sense. Don't seek external validation, got it. On to the next item!" You won't give it the deep consideration you should.

Again, I know your intentions here are good. You want to address this area in your life as quickly as possible. My advice based on very similar experience: Open your mind to the idea that you badly need inner game work first. Think of it as a structural foundation. Get it strong, and everything you build on it will work out great. But build something while ignoring the foundation, and you'll constantly be wondering why your building shakes, collapses, and just won't go very high.
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
461
Okay my friend. Listen up. You're almost an exact carbon copy of me when I started. I can see it in your tone, in your word choice.

I started a couple years or so before 30. It's now been several years and I'm going to tell you what I've learned that applies here, and how it can help you.

1. I know you're concerned about how much time you have left. But something interesting that I learned very early on is that men naturally hit their prime years way later than you'd think. Whereas a woman's prime is in her early 20s, a man's is in his 40s. Maybe late 30s, maybe even early 50s. So you're actually not late yet! You still have years before hitting your natural prime!

2. Understand there are two components here that you have to get down solid to get the women results you want: outer game and inner game. Outer game is the name for all the techniques, strategies, and tactics used. Things like knowing what to say, how to use your voice, or how to run a date. Inner game is the name for your development on the inside. For example, you can have the best coach in the world telling you in an earpiece the best things to say, but if on the inside you feel like a weak, piece of shit, loser, you're going to fail.

3. If you have the money, coaching is the best way to go to learn outer game as quickly as possible. Not only can they teach you things quickly, but they can also help you see blind spots in your game. This will save you months, even years, of you figuring things out on your own.

4. Your challenge will be with inner game. The sooner you understand this, the better. I spent years going out over and over, getting rejected over and over, just as you say you want to... but I went nowhere. It took me years to finally wake up and accept that I had major inner game issues holding me back this entire time (self-sabotage).

If you're being real with yourself, it should be objectively clear to you that someone like you should have significant inner game issues. You can't become a 30+ year old guy who isn't good with women without having issues on the inside.

5. To get you started in the direction of working on inner game, let me tell you that your current mindset that women will make you happy (which is what you believe if we cut away the fluff) will absolutely prevent you from having the success you want.

And believe me, I know where you're coming from. The aspect of your life that isn't satisfactory is women, and you simply want to work on it to make it better. Totally makes sense.

But what you don't see (I didn't either) is that you're ignoring your happiness in life in all other ways. For instance, I guarantee your male friendships are fairly weak or could be way stronger and closer than what they currently are. I guarantee you don't have a true passion or purpose in life that doesn't have some specific end result you're seeking. Do you even vigorously exercise to show high respect for your own body (and not to attract women)?

Stated differently, you don't have strong internal validation. Self esteem, self worth, etc. Instead, you're defining your worth based on external things. In this case, you're saying you can't be happy unless you have women. This is as 100% backward as you can be. You should be striving to be happy on your own, on the inside. You don't need a certain sized house, or car, or woman. If you don't understand this, then what will happen is you'll chase external things in search of your happiness, get them, then see that you're still unhappy. You'll be chasing things until the end of time, and nothing will ever give you the happiness you seek. As soon as you get a big house, now you'll want a bigger one. Or, as soon as you get a woman, now you'll want one with bigger boobs, or a better personality, or something else.

It won't be until you learn to be happy with yourself RIGHT NOW that you finally feel the exact joy and peace that you seek.

Furthermore, chasing external validation makes you way less attractive to women. It'll cause you to be needy, chase, and put women on pedestals even if you don't realize you're doing it. Having strong internal validation on the other hand will attract women.

If you're like me when I started, you'll gloss over this concept. You'll say something to yourself like "That makes sense. Don't seek external validation, got it. On to the next item!" You won't give it the deep consideration you should.

Again, I know your intentions here are good. You want to address this area in your life as quickly as possible. My advice based on very similar experience: Open your mind to the idea that you badly need inner game work first. Think of it as a structural foundation. Get it strong, and everything you build on it will work out great. But build something while ignoring the foundation, and you'll constantly be wondering why your building shakes, collapses, and just won't go very high.
👏👏👏
 

ElectricDreamMachine

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 21, 2022
Messages
7
Okay my friend. Listen up. You're almost an exact carbon copy of me when I started. I can see it in your tone, in your word choice.

I started a couple years or so before 30. It's now been several years and I'm going to tell you what I've learned that applies here, and how it can help you.

1. I know you're concerned about how much time you have left. But something interesting that I learned very early on is that men naturally hit their prime years way later than you'd think. Whereas a woman's prime is in her early 20s, a man's is in his 40s. Maybe late 30s, maybe even early 50s. So you're actually not late yet! You still have years before hitting your natural prime!

2. Understand there are two components here that you have to get down solid to get the women results you want: outer game and inner game. Outer game is the name for all the techniques, strategies, and tactics used. Things like knowing what to say, how to use your voice, or how to run a date. Inner game is the name for your development on the inside. For example, you can have the best coach in the world telling you in an earpiece the best things to say, but if on the inside you feel like a weak, piece of shit, loser, you're going to fail.

3. If you have the money, coaching is the best way to go to learn outer game as quickly as possible. Not only can they teach you things quickly, but they can also help you see blind spots in your game. This will save you months, even years, of you figuring things out on your own.

4. Your challenge will be with inner game. The sooner you understand this, the better. I spent years going out over and over, getting rejected over and over, just as you say you want to... but I went nowhere. It took me years to finally wake up and accept that I had major inner game issues holding me back this entire time (self-sabotage).

If you're being real with yourself, it should be objectively clear to you that someone like you should have significant inner game issues. You can't become a 30+ year old guy who isn't good with women without having issues on the inside.

5. To get you started in the direction of working on inner game, let me tell you that your current mindset that women will make you happy (which is what you believe if we cut away the fluff) will absolutely prevent you from having the success you want.

And believe me, I know where you're coming from. The aspect of your life that isn't satisfactory is women, and you simply want to work on it to make it better. Totally makes sense.

But what you don't see (I didn't either) is that you're ignoring your happiness in life in all other ways. For instance, I guarantee your male friendships are fairly weak or could be way stronger and closer than what they currently are. I guarantee you don't have a true passion or purpose in life that doesn't have some specific end result you're seeking. Do you even vigorously exercise to show high respect for your own body (and not to attract women)?

Stated differently, you don't have strong internal validation. Self esteem, self worth, etc. Instead, you're defining your worth based on external things. In this case, you're saying you can't be happy unless you have women. This is as 100% backward as you can be. You should be striving to be happy on your own, on the inside. You don't need a certain sized house, or car, or woman. If you don't understand this, then what will happen is you'll chase external things in search of your happiness, get them, then see that you're still unhappy. You'll be chasing things until the end of time, and nothing will ever give you the happiness you seek. As soon as you get a big house, now you'll want a bigger one. Or, as soon as you get a woman, now you'll want one with bigger boobs, or a better personality, or something else.

It won't be until you learn to be happy with yourself RIGHT NOW that you finally feel the exact joy and peace that you seek.

Furthermore, chasing external validation makes you way less attractive to women. It'll cause you to be needy, chase, and put women on pedestals even if you don't realize you're doing it. Having strong internal validation on the other hand will attract women.

If you're like me when I started, you'll gloss over this concept. You'll say something to yourself like "That makes sense. Don't seek external validation, got it. On to the next item!" You won't give it the deep consideration you should.

Again, I know your intentions here are good. You want to address this area in your life as quickly as possible. My advice based on very similar experience: Open your mind to the idea that you badly need inner game work first. Think of it as a structural foundation. Get it strong, and everything you build on it will work out great. But build something while ignoring the foundation, and you'll constantly be wondering why your building shakes, collapses, and just won't go very high.
Thanks brother appreciate all of it. I am blessed with the one thing tho. 2 male friends who are more like brothers to me. Very very strong friendships and I am filled with gratitude for them both. But yes, I do need to work on building myself up for me and me period.
 

ElectricDreamMachine

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 21, 2022
Messages
7
And it also appreciate the fact that you said men reach their prime in their 40s and sometimes even 50s. That actually does line up with what I've observed in real life, but of course my brain tries to sabotage me and tell me it's too late. But I feel like my dream life(or at least a reasonable approximation of it) is within reach for the first time in a long time. I just have a lot of work to do. But that's fine. I'm past the lazy phase of my life, which unfortunately lasted way too long.
 
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